Sunday, January 20, 2008

The scream

Have you ever screamed so loud feeling your brain smashed against the walls of your skull, feeling it might go out through the holes in your skull, a scream from the darkest part of your heart, from that place you don't know its there. Have you?
Today I was planning on talking about isolation, and if I was fair that was most of my day, yet I can't escape the most recent event as being the most relevant right now, tomorrow I am sure I’ll think differently. Regardless everything is intertwine, and as such I might talk about both, don't know if you noticed but I right this shit as it comes to me.
So today ended up at rock city, for those who don't know it, let's say it is an alternative place, with rock music. Funny just realized how this interconnects with the isolation, I wanted to talk about writing the blog, and its release to the outside world, although it is an open blog I haven't distributed the address widely... Not yet anyway, but I am getting ahead of myself.
The scream from the darkest place, surrounded by an aware crowd, that is simply their for their own selfish purposes, as am I, you feel a silence inside, like you are draining all out, your head is about to explode, you could stop but you choose not to, it hurts, physically emotionally? Who knows it simply hurts. The need to go further, beyond the pain, extended this scream, feel the words coming out of your mouth, the truth they reveal (Borrowing words from others, like I said before they are wiser ...) the pain they case, the realization of your physical limits, and how you can go beyond them with the right mind set.
You stop, only now you realized how much you stretched the limits, it hurts, but a good pain, a pain you deserve, that you cased and most importantly, a pain you accept.
I would like to say more but I can't today, it has been an immense day in my head I need a break from it, sorry for that, I’ll leave with twos borrowed quotes:
"All my life I’ve been searching for something
Something never comes, never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies, but I’m getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope"
"If I get any closer,
And if you open up wide
And if you let me inside
On and on, I’ve got nothing to hide
On and on I’ve got nothing to hide
Hey, don’t let it go to waste
I love it but, I hate that taste"

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