Today, I was certain of not having anything to say, I even discussed it with a friend, and as I did, I figured out, I could have a lot to say about different things (trust, fears, all sort of things). The thing is I don't want to talk about those, and sitting here with my music playing I realize the attempt to stop, the need to feel numb, the need to free myself from the constrains of being me.
To think is something I just take for granted, I mean we all do think, but I can say without modesty that I am a over thinker, it as always been part of me, and it is a big part of the definition of me.
The thing is lately I hate this, the curse of not being able to stop, the destine (fado) of being bound to who I am. And sitting here I figure through the thing I am bashing (my thoughts) that this is the problem, I feel so stuck to who I am, that the only reacting is numbness, at least I stop, all the things are still here, I know them, I can see them, but by standing still it is as if they aren't there anymore for the real world. If nobody sees it, is it really there? Philosophy is always present help on these issues that have no real answers, just real questions as answers.
So the irony, the absence of thought, the thought needs you to carry it through, if you don't, well like words if nobody says something there is always the chance it isn't there, but once someone spoke it, it is out there, and it exists. Thought can be the same, although we all know it is not, for the others there is no difference.
This is getting of track, I am actually wondering how to jump start myself, honestly I need to snap out of it and get back on track.
To live is not to see it in your head, but to make it happen, preferably as you see it in your head. Good solution, any thoughts on how to do it?