Monday, March 31, 2008


What is this word? Well I didn't know either so here is a definition:
'Zeitgeist is originally a German expression that means "the spirit of the age", literally translated as "time (Zeit) spirit (Geist)". It describes the intellectual and cultural climate of an era. In German, the word has more layers of meaning than the English translation, including the fact that Zeitgeist can only be observed for past events.'
This is a name of a "documentary", not sure about calling it that, but it is an interesting way to get you to at least think about things. Today I had a busy day, I actually had 3 topics all quite interesting, one about me and my connection with house, the other about human nature and behavior on solitude and last this film that at least makes you wonder...
Here it is hope you enjoy it and please do comment on it I would love to get feedback on this one, and it should provoke comments by it self :P...

More information :

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Do I care?

Today I read something that made me ask this question, due to practical reasons I’ll maintain this abstract. The thing is do we care when people try to manipulate us? Well if you don't see the manipulation the question never rises, but if you see it as I do most of the time, there are two main approaches humor or seriousness. ON one hand humor is quite continent to deal with things, shows that you care without the problems that might arise from a direct confrontation. If you don't care you can still use humor, I mean it is always funny to expose such things :P (a bit dark I know)... The problem with humor is when your patience is gone, or at least it is at low levels, then you really can be bother with being funny and smart about thus the serious comes into place (I could extend on this but there is no point on exposing how one comes to lose his patience).
The thing about being serious is that the question do I care? Has a whole different quonotation. If I care I’ll stop caring at that point because I am pissed off that someone would try such an idiotic move, and if it is repeated, well let’s just say I don't care for people behave like idiots. If I don't care, well then it depends on my mood, basically I might do nothing or something, depends on the point I wish to make I guess.
The point that I am trying to make is an advice, define what you want but be careful how you target to get it, you might end up causing the reverse effect for your intentions...
Sorry all this has a very specific target :P...


In some sort of life, which is mine and yet feels strange and uncomfortable, perhaps even alien? I've been trying to avoid anything here, not because I have nothing to say, but simply because I don't feel ready to reveal it, which kind of defeats the purpose of the blog. Regardless today someone pointed it out to me, "you are cheating", which I am not, like I replied I borrowed other peoples words for my blog, I still meant to say them. If only it would be as simple as this, as rebating an argument, the game I so skillfully play with others and the thing is this game is starting to become me or it as always been me, who knows? Well I always thought I am the dude beyond it, the dude that is hard to reach but reachable, the dude that carefully studies the flaws of the people in the path, that creates the path towards having some sort of worthiness test for those who do reach him. Who should listen to my new CD, dark in the most beautiful way, and honestly I feel it deep inside, not that I feel beautiful in any way, complex yes, twisted perhaps, intelligent beyond a doubt, but beautiful... I wish I could say yes, but I don't see it... It’s like looking at the complexity which appears to me as simplicity regardless of the time I spend looking at it. Don't get me wrong I am not a idiot(at least not in all aspects) that can't see the complexity that others see, I just don't feel it, I see the complexity but feel simple, as I see the possibility of beauty and yet am far from feeling it.
When I was in Portugal I had a very interesting conversation with my mom, and guess what it was triggered by the CD, more specifically because of a song that I didn't include "ohh gente da minha terra", one of those songs that only a Portuguese could understand how deep it might touch, again perfect beauty of sadness...
The conversation was about me not being a happy person, or cheerful, I guess that is a word that would be better accepted, which my mom who is the amazing person that only sees the best in me, she actually responsible for most of it, couldn't understand or accept that fact. She has had a hard life, struggle a lot, definitely my hero, and she looks at my life with pride and says you have nothing but reasons to feel happy and cheerful. It was hard for me to explain how I feel without actually doing it, and still giving my mom my view without making her feel guilty as she would if she thought I was not happy. Quite the challenge which I managed, no surprise there, yet all of it made me think of my perspective of life, and more importantly the people that are the core of it. I play a key role in some peoples life’s and during this trip I saw how my actions can affect them, which reminds me about a side note that I wanted to write but didn't. I HATE WOMEN CRYING, fucking destroys me inside, and don't take this as a sign of weakness because I have learned to deal with it, and when it is required I can withstand it BUT I FUCKING HATE IT, honestly one of the worst things you can feel, specially if you are to blame in any way.
Going back to the point, I do feel lost somewhere, just need to figure out where so I can make sense of it, and my improvement is I am talking about it before I reached a conclusion, that is real progress... I am sure those who know me will subscribe to this self compliment :P
More seriously I am in a definition stage where I wish much, but plan to get little, again mind of feelings with the hope for more :P.
Since I mentioned it here is the song...

... that gives me the chills!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Leaking my CD

Another one, from the CD, simply enjoy...

I've been told there is no such thing as perfection but...

Friday, March 28, 2008

First day back from holiday

The first day back is quite weird, firstly because of the schedules being completely messed up (I just fell asleep for 4 hours and woke up for no reason now) and also because the holidays destroy your rhythm, although your batteries might be charged the release of energy is quite contained :P.
I was wondering if you should take a day off when you are back, still that would mean a day less on holiday which normally we are not open to conced. Still working on the day after a trip is quite tricky already (coming from meetings in Europe is also no picnic), but if you add the absence of rhythm than it is a quite hard day to endure, even though you have the right spirit for the day the productivity is quite low, which in turn frustrates you producing a bad start for your new work cycle.
Anyways one needs to believe tomorrow will be more productive, and honestly if it is not, the weekend should take care of the residual lack of rhythm, or so I hope :P.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Another plane trip

There is a lot I could say about my time in Portugal, all the things that passed and yet today I have to share with you something I was wondering in the plane.
The fucking plane was completely full again, I mean it is a Wednesday, middle of the week there are more than 10 daily flights connecting Lisbon to London, how the fuck can they be all full? Is there a mass movement of people that I am unaware of? Honestly I was thinking about this, are there any mathematical models to predict this complex behavior? I mean we all have our individual reasons for traveling, my surprise is the amount of lives that cross the skies now a days, and for those who talk shit about globalization, well it is here, we are becoming the global village...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Too numb to...

I'm too numb to write stuff, Portugal is having this effect on me in more than just writing, still tomorrow I am back in the UK, and thus this should pass :P.
I'll like to point out I didn't post pictures of Portugal because I forgot the charger for my camera, and for my mobile, how smart am I? Anyways that is it for today :P for those of you who complain that I write too much text :P

Monday, March 24, 2008

Somewhere Only ...

Poetry expresses thoughts and feelings, since i am not a poet i have to borrow from other, enjoy...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Concessions for a new CD

Hey, today a very simple topic, since I just finished a 2 hours selection process for a new music CD. The compilation process for me is a 3 step approach, finding the CD topic, finding music that matches the topic, cutting down songs to tell the story. The tricky part is the last one as you would expect, I mean a topic comes to me out of need for a new CD, thus it is more of the triggering event for the whole process. Finding songs is an easier task, I have a big library to choose from, and also I have good memory for specific songs that I tag in my brain to put on certain topic areas. The cutting down process is the hard part, 80 minutes is quite short for any topic, and more than once I was forced to do a double CD to be able to coupe with this. The thing is to tell the story you need some songs, the ones that have to be there (in specific places of the CD) but this is not enough because you need to bridge between these "main" songs. This is the key, the right flow for the CD defines it more than its topic or main attractions, the story should not be told randomly but in a way the listener will understand... The main problem lately is I have too many core songs (which is a pain in the ass since I need to place them in specific positions) thus making it hard to fit them together with a flow, dam the abundance of things to say...
Anyways it is done, a CD called "so fuck you...” the other word "goodbye" might be added in time, I kept you posted as promised :P.
The content of the CD, well I’ll supply it to those who demand it, still it is a very personal one...
That is it tomorrow I hope I’ll talk more...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Full moon of realizations

The bright full moon over the immense ocean, the waves crush against all that stands in their way, the anger in the wind is clear in sound, clouds race in the night skies, stars randomly scattered throughout the gaps of visible sky...
What can I say, the scenery screamed poetry, but no poet in site. Never the less here I am in my usual ranting of nothing.
The word realization is quite strong, I am not sure I am realizing anything yet, more of a clearer awareness of facts, or maybe I am just too afraid to let it really sink in. The thing is acceptance of certain things bring implications of loss which you have to agree is not the best feeling in the world.
Not the right time to write about this simply because I only want to do it after events unfold or I unfold them. The point of this would be lost in this issue I need to act more and leave the interpretation for after. Thus sorry for starting this one and leaving it midway, I’ll give you the possible names for my new compilation of music which I will record tomorrow, either "goodbye" or "so fuck you"... I'll keep you posted :P

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The things that simply are

The things that simply are
hey, so first apologies, sorry for missing a post yesterday, I was kind of lost in translation once I got home, which wasn't that early but the absence of a post was simply because I felt in a strange character that I couldn't define as being me. I know it sounds like a bunch of bull, and maybe it is, the fact is a miss one which I am truly sorry for. For that reason, or because I am lost in translation, I am going to try a different type of post today, hopefully it will make as much sense here as in my head...
First let me set the tone, I found an old cd in my car that provided a nice soundtrack for today, seems fiting that I present you with the main tone from it.
This is from a great movie, or at least for me it was (perhaps for the topic and storyline :P), which I think people should revisit from time to time, and go beyond the great sarcasm that it entails. Press play, see the video if you wish to be reminded but if you do once it is done press play again and read with that tone as your back setting.

I've been thinking of myself lately, I know sounds very self involved which is probably true, on the up side I actually have a tendency to generalize and extract global "truths" from my own small world or worlds.
The things that simply are, the things that transcend logic and reason, the things you deny exist. Fuck this is a hard topic, I am struggling with the next thing to say, and yet I am sure you know what I am talking about. Some things just make sense, not logical sense, but simply make sense, we feel them as such, and we feel what is right more than you logically infer it. Logic however has been proven to work, thus we tend to stick with it more often than not, regardless of what the common misconception that human beings follow the heart. We tend not to follow our heart unless logic sustains that decision, after all who likes being hurt? Like I said logic has a good track record, and we learned to accept the reasonable, the logical, our argument based reality. Still we feel the things, beyond the reason, beyond the logic, beyond the definition of ourselves, beyond conventional right and wrong.
Dealing with this is what really defines us, others or ourselves. Logical arguments of what is right, the need to make a case and win it with words, thus using the tools others created and becoming bound to them, or taking a gamble in more than what seems right (and probably is), in more than what makes sense and trust what you feel...
Logic can create feelings, this is a concept I’ve come to realize, how? Well it is like peer pressure, if other say this is the right thing, and we know logically it is, how can we go against it? Well we don't, at least most of the times, we find new ways of feeling supporting the so called real world. This one is an interesting concept since it is hard to separate ourselves from these complex web logical arguments, honestly I have know idea if I feel simply because I do, or because I am induced to do so.... Like I said, it is a complicated concept.
Back on topic, things we feel are right, honestly I would like to say this is the way to go, let be brave and go for this, forget logic... But this is me talking, I use logic as the right arm of my existence, yet I do feel these things... Conflict is such a messing business in ones brain, is Coexistence possible? I really don't know, I wish for it to be, but I know it is not, again conflict in the solution...
The simple things that simply are, the things that scare me, the things that make me thrive for more, the things that make me wish to live, the things that I want to have, the things I need to hold, to touch, to feel... The ocean is a force in my life that simply is, I can't explain it, there is no logic in it, perhaps some poetry can scratch the surface of its definition, and yet I simply feel the connection, the link that forever binds me to sea, his acceptance of me, his understanding, his wrath when calling me to reason, his advice, his proof of friendship... Surreal? Perhaps, and logically I might agree but still it is there...
Obviously I meant more than just this example, but I won’t go beyond it, one more song for rapping up this tone, straight from the same movie(although I choose a video without movie parts due to reasons from my reason), and very close to my thoughts...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


The breath of friendship, the welcome in human warmth, the reality of belonging, the complicity in existence, the acceptance of flaws, completing parts of your puzzle.
It is one of the things that define me, my friends and our relationship, it is something that I can hardly put into words but I find I should at least try. For me friends are the top priority of life, they are your reasons for being, one should understand how I look at people to understand that I am not exaggerating on this quote.
A question I like to ask people is friends or family? And for me the answer is obvious, by far friends, since these include some members of my family like my mom, who is flat out one of my best friends. Obviously this requires levels of friendship, some thing you don't talk with your mom, but still there is all the characteristics of a friendship since these things aren't taboo or anything they just don't come up. I look at my girlfriends as my best friends, which is what defines them as girlfriends, before that they are just girls that I’m involved with...
I think you can get a clear picture about my views of friendship range.
The people you get, without getting, the people you accept in their differences, the advices that you can't ignore, the people that provide words for your silence, the ones that can define you when you are lost, the honesty of truth friendship is more than words can describe, its the gamble of perfection for the truth which in turn maintains that perfection... Knowing harsh words in a gentle manner, understanding the care in the hard love, and yet the sympathy for your flaws and their acceptance and in turn your own acceptance.
Friendship is something beyond words, you can clearly see it for what it is, but just in your eyes, the standing up for those you know are at fault, the proof of a true friend, but it is so much more than simply this inference, it is something you have to do, something that defines you as a person. You are how the world sees you? Or you are as your friends remember you? Is what the face you show the world the same your friends see? All will say no, ask yourself who are you? How can you define yourself? Through words? Sure you can, but will they make you justice?
I am going on and on, but the bottom line is, can you picture your life without friendship in all its forms? Fuck that would be a life without me in it, but maybe that is just me.... To my friends, and you know who you are, I know thanks is not required, but thanks for defining me in a way that I can be proud of...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Parrot type

So it seems that writing the blog in the morning is becoming a habit :P. But trust me it is a mere coincidence.
Today I got my times right meaning I went to bed early and got up around now :P.
Today I’ll talk about a certain type of people, the parrot type.
Have you notice sometimes people say something very deep or complex or even insightful, and are completely unable to follow it through? like they simply heard it somewhere and now are simply repeating what someone else (who probably knows what he or she is talking about) argument, and don't get me wrong you should use other people's arguments if they are good, but you should at least digest it before you do, understand it in order to check if it is good. The parrot type simply repeat what was told to them by people they consider superior, and in order to feel superior the use this incomplete knowledge as their own.
The thing is these people are level one in arguments, meaning they can just say the sentence, and once you argue back they don«t know what to say. I mean honestly if you are unable to follow up an argument, you are an idiot if you use it since you are driving the conversation to a dead end for you...
The parrot type is still funny, once identified it is always a good laugh, and yet if they keep clear of me I really wouldn't mind :P.

Monday, March 17, 2008

late blog

This is a late blog in two ways, the topic is something I’ve been meaning to write about for a few days and it is a late entry. Anyways I'll start by putting an image for your consideration...

So, they have a drug to compensate the effects of taking drugs. Let this sink in, if you think about it this is a good idea, I would say it is a useful drug. What concerned me was I woke up, when to the bus, and suddenly there was this adverts all over the place for different drugs to compensate for drugs. Minimizing the bad aspects of drugs to a point that it actually doesn’t make them look bad, since the bad effects go away with this drug. Don't get me wrong, I believe in freedom to do what you want, but isn't it illegal to advertise smoking, this was kind of like that, "you can do it, we take care of the consequences", thus my problem...
What kind of country has strict laws for smoking, on drugs and then allows for this type of advertising all over the place? Where is the famous kid protection? Who do you think this advert targets? Honestly people should do what they want, but they should also take responsibility for it, and again not against the actual product, just against the advertising of it... but maybe it is just me...

Sunday, March 16, 2008


Well it is official I am 9862 days old, or 27, I had a very nice story to tell but I thing this fact takes precedence :P.
27 is a heavy number, you can feel the quarter century in a fair distance which is sad considering I liked 25 a lot :P. But time stops for no man, or so they tell me, in reality you are as old as you act, honestly I am older and in many ways a different, maybe even more mature, whatever that means, but I still keep tabs on the old me that guy makes this guy unique ;).
Life is a sequence of events that is enabled by time, time gives it reference points for you to use, if you choose to do it. My birthday means I have a day more than yesterday, if you look at the number 9862, it is not really a round number as 27 isn't, its more a intermediate number and that is what I say on this marker, I am in-between moments, not sure where I am headed but I do know where I’ve been, well sort of :P
Cheers for all that remember this date, and those who didn't, well don't worry I don't give it too much importance anyway :) friends are there when you need them and on this day they are great company, but I do know what matters ;)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Eventful day

Right today is one of those days that I did very little and a lot happened, so I actually have a lot of topics I could talk about. Of course I won’t speak a lot, because the day hasn't finished yet, I need to pack because tomorrow I bugger off back to Portugal.
So I’ll talk about the first thing that happened to me today, because it was the first, it should be the one I start and in this case finish :P.
I had a meeting with my supervisor, the big boss. Guess what, I was planning on working a lot has I’ve been doing in the last week, I had the meeting and did nothing else work related the rest of the day. Why? Because it went very well, he said that he likes my idea, my approach and bla bla. Result, the loss of the will to do anything, it is funny when people say good things about you, that is when you feel no will to do more, I mean you did enough, more than enough :P bullshit, but you know what I mean, if you have a bad meeting you work until you feel that somehow you compensated for your shortcomings. I guess it is human nature, but still, we could be better :P
Sorry I have to keep this short but I am tired, and it is my birthday already :P
Talk to you from Portugal....

Friday, March 14, 2008


Well i am a bit busy lately but i will leave a something for the facebook users :P Enjoy....

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Canceled post

Hey, just got back from the office so I could get rid of a document so I am quite destroyed and can't write shit today. Also it was fucking cold on the walk home so really going to jump in bed, although I must say it was a productive day.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

fuck modesty

Today I have a modesty statement, for those who know me it wont be a surprise, for all the others, it is a reality check. I am not a modest person, and lets be clear I am talking purely on an intellectual level, I am smart, I know I am smart, and modesty aside (and today this statement goes for the whole text) I am one of the best arguers if not the best one I know. I'd like to point out this is not a blind thought, of course if you understand better a subject you may win an argument, but if I have knowledge on it, very hardly you will. Why? Well in arguments I play to win, it is one of my favorite games, and I am fucking good at.
The thing is I know I am awesome, some of you may agree, others are simply idiots; regardless all have a right to an opinion. In current day I adjusted my behavior to society standards, that doesn't mean I don't know my potential (now take notes please) EVEN IF I DON'T USE IT, my potential my choice to use it or not.
One note, I noticed today that I might not be as patient as I thought, and again don't get me wrong, if I have a angle I am as cool as Fonzie, but if I don't stupidity really pisses me off. The problem is not being stupid, the problem is doing stupid things. KNOW YOUR LIMITS PEOPLE, again take note. Regardless this was pointed out by a close friend, at the time I kind of dismissed, but now I notice that patience is not the most abundant at times, again also depends on the topic.
Back to the modesty shit, why should I be modest? Honestly can't people measure others? I know a lot of people whom which I need to play my A game in order to win an argument, the thing is these people know how fucking good my A game is thus they sometimes just avoid it completely, question, why would you not able to play at that level defy me to do so? And then complain about it... LOL... really...
Which brings me to the addition of a reply when people say is that the best you can do, answer “my answers are at the level of my audience" :P.
More seriously, people have strong characteristics and weak ones, get to know them, and honestly don't play games out of your league, show that you are smart and pick your battles. I do, I don't argue indiscriminately (even though sometimes might appear I do), I know when I out of my league (normally related to a specific topic).
If you don't you may find yourself in front of a guy like me that sometimes has no patience and then, well all things go, one thing I’ll tell is I never say I am a good person, I am a person that does as he sees fit, and sometimes that might be destructive...

Monday, March 10, 2008


BSML, a scale we came up during a brainstorm session at Nottingham University. Maybe you heard about Technology Maturity Level, well this is BullShit Maturity Level.
First you shouldn't take this literally, not all is bullshit, and I actually have a great definition for bullshit of this level. BullShit is the ability to say things that aren't wrong but also aren't right, which always make sense. The ability to sell your product, you have to say things that are true and right, and combine them in the way it suites you.
So BSML scale goes from 1 to 10, being the 1 the average (average is not the word but I forgot it, its like more like gullible :P) Joe and the 10 emperor. The cool thing about this scale is that it can be applied to different things, although it was created to support academic bullshit, it work for technology, economics, and socially.
Actually people score different depending on the topic, I mean come on some people are professional bullshiters may that on picking up girls, or on bullshiting that you know how :P.
We all bullshit at one time or another, the question is how good are we at it. The best one I know is a level 11 which will remain nameless, but I’ll describe the ability, so basically he says stuff that makes perfect sense answering all your questions, and when you stop and think about it after 10 minutes you realize you got nothing, but a nothing that makes perfect sense :P.
I must confess I am quite good at this scale, in most fields anyway which is quite sad, and really not that proud not even sure why I am writing this now, this scale is out there for a year now, and I am getting better on it, anyways the positive is I can also detect it better, I mean really better. The other day I meet someone that is doing a PhD on Brazilian culture in England, and she is Brazilian. Someone made fun of her and she does this amazing speech on how it makes sense, and I went you are a 3 year PhD aren't you? She was like how do you know? And I was like, your bullshit level is quite high :P.
More seriously there are a lot of benefits on this, but still there is some loss of innocence lets say, come to think of it how innocent was I to being with? Well you figure it out :P.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Pop Star

Right so today I am just posting a really funny video, I have to say I really like the original and the message it sends out, but this spoof does have something :P


The lack of words when you have much to express, or the overflow of thoughts that prevents you from formalizing them, or the fear to do so, all of which is quite curious, anyways I’ll do what I love to do on these occasions. The borrowing of others words (this one is probably unknown to most)

Now that I
Face the world with pain inside
Strange but I
Can't understand the reasons why.
Forever is
A world that I cannot describe
That Died the time we said goodnight.
It makes no difference, wrong or right
The time has come to say goodnight.
And how could I
Be so sure but be so wrong?
And how could I?
Have a will so weak with a mind so strong?
And Only I
Can tell the difference right or wrong.
It makes no difference, wrong or right
I guess it's best we say goodnight.

Friday, March 7, 2008


Such a complex word this "chance", several meanings with even more interpretations, I guess this will be one.
A chance or opportunity, everybody has heard of second chances. I am all for second chances, in theory I am up for infinity chances, but at the cost of chance it self. Chance or probability, of you getting another opportunity decreases every time you miss a chance. For those who understand mathematics this is a simple rule of conditional probability, meaning if an event is influenced by another you multiply the chances resulting in a huge decrease in a good outcome.
Chance or luck, this plays a key part in the chances or opportunities you get, after all the definition of luck is when it goes against all odds and you still get it, there is always a chance depending on how much chance you have to compensate for your chance to get it, or there is always a possibility depending on how much luck you have to compensate for your odds to get it.

This said, I do believe in second chances and in theory more than that, but I understand the practicality of it, thus I verify very few times where more than two chances where given, in my life that is...

Even when you want to give it another chance the numbers bear a huge weight and there are just so many times you can ignore them...

And a song to think about...

Time to pass you to the test
Hanging on my lover's breath
Always coming second best
Pictures of my lover's chest
Get through this night
There are no second chances
This time I might
To ask the sea for answers

Always falling to the floor
Softer than it was before
Dog boy - media whore
It's who the hell you take me for

Give up this fight, there are no second chances

This time I might
To ask the sea for answers
These bonds are shackle free
Wrapped in lust and lunacy
Tiny touch of jealousy
These bonds are shackle free

Get through this night
There are no second chances
This time I might
To ask the sea for answers

This time I might
To ask the sea for answers
These bonds are shackle free
Wrapped in lust and lunacy
Tiny touch of jealousy
These bonds are shackle free

Get through this night
There are no second chances
This time I might
To ask the sea for answers
These bonds are shackle free
These bonds are shackle free
These bonds are shackle free
These bonds are shackle free

Get through this, there are no second chances
This time, To ask the sea for answers

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Soundless walk home

No background soundtrack is interesting from time to time, you and your thoughts, the sounds of your head, true that some sounds are records of someone else's thoughts, sounds or music, and still there is a curious self selection which coincidently you wouldn't do. May that be the song that you can't like but it’s too catchy not to, or a conversation that took place far beyond reasonable memory, it is simply you and what is in you at the table of reality. Suddenly you hear the whisper of the slight breeze in your hears, it is thus you feel it more that you actually hear it, but the presence of both senses is their and you think of the simplicity of this thought, this experience that just passed, and you realized that you just ruined it by thinking about it. Always a problem o contextualization, like the things that come to you on your thoughts, they must have a logical progression of some sort, something must be the trigger, and yet we fail to consider ourselves the trigger with the curiosity that we are the trigger most of the times.
Our mind wonders, the night is upon you, it surrounds you and embraces your thoughts, molding them to the dark beauty of the might, the mystery of the unclear. Lights strike the darkness, curious, there are different types, as there are different streets and paths, a chaos of organized lighting strategies that a mad man must have envisioned.
The absence of human presence, you feel it, the remembrance that it exists, voices echo in your head proving it, and yet it all seems so quiet and vague, and the simplicity of absence. Suddenly you see a figure, a person, as expect when you consider the void it fills up, strangely enough I could still ignore its presence, in my world that is an unfamiliar figure thus let me rant freely in my thoughts of void.
But you hear sounds, people, life, you notice your footsteps, they have a rhythm, the rhythm that defines you, in the absence of influences you would be truly yourself. Yet this is a vague and unreachable concept, due to other considerations.
A car approaches, normally you ignore traffic unless you are crossing the street, but there is a curious chaotic element in it that you might find appealing in a day like today. The chaotic inner workings of something that should go wrong more times than it actually does, it is quite a fascinating topic.
Life again, this time more people, more worlds, more groups of void relations that exist but not to you...

Enough, bed time, exhaustion :P

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Notion of a busy day

The day starts with a nice wake up call, not a literal expression since I mean the cramp I got around 8 o'clock, so a wake up in pain not the best way to wake up. Stay in bed stretching for half an hour and proceeded to start my day.
So the usual stuff, a shower, got dressed, brushed my teeth and proceeded to leave the house. Today I was predicting a busy day so I took the bus instead of walking (that and the fact that my leg was still in pain from the cramp :P).
Got to the office and was immediately briefed of a meeting at 11 about the European proposal that we are putting together, which on a regular day I wouldn't have a problem juggling it in to my schedule but today meant I couldn't go to the labs to prepare my next week classes (a problem which I still will need to figure out what I’ll do, anyway...). So I proceeded to chapter 2 of the deliverable for an ongoing project (which is late by 2 months, and to be fair I only started last week since technically it isn't my responsibility, but anyway...).
11 o'clock the meeting where we defined the flaws of the proposal, what needed to be improved. The problem was as you would expect there was a lot of tweaking to be done. Another interesting detail was I found out on the meeting that the interviews that I would be helping to conduct for a new software engineer was at 13:30 and not at 14:00 as I was expecting, great news since I schedule with a friend to have lunch at 13:00, moving on. Finished that meeting with all, to have a smaller one where I discuss with a colleague the work packages required and their structure. At 1 o'clock I was done, so in time for my lunch which I warned my friend I would have to cut short. But supporting my dear friend Murphy, my friend was a bit late, and I got a call to be ready 5 minutes before, so really short lunch, since I left half of it behind.
After these 2 interviews, for two people that didn't really fit the position, I got confronted with the other side of the interview. Honestly I rather be the one being interviewed, but this would be another story. Finished the interviews at 14:40 and proceed with the discussion about the people that we interviewed, another half an hour.
Got to my office, and got presented with the changes of the proposal, so guess what? Review time :P. Meeting at 4 for the second round about the proposal, followed by the technical discussion about the proposals objectives, finished around 18.
Office again, and my dear colleague after I asked who wants to get a chocolate from the vending machine suggested chippy shit (for the ones who don't know, it is a bugger place with the best burgers :P). We pick them up and come back, I FINALLY ATE :P.
Sit down on my computer, and started working on the proposal and its diagrams, and finished at 21:30. This would be fine, but I had to pass on champions league game as I set up with a colleague, and also the party I really wanted to go in the evening after the game (I am fucking tired :P).
Checked the news, yesterday’s daily show, mails, and decided to come home.
Walked home, fucking freezing today of course, got home did some tea which was great, check some stuff and now writing this shit, and after bed...

Sorry for a descriptive day, I could have gone for today’s lessons but honestly I am in describing mode, the thinking mode was destroyed with all the discussions over the day... See you tomorrow, the proposal is going out Thursday, but I promise not to mention it tomorrow :).

Monday, March 3, 2008

Maybe not...

Today I feel a bit romantic, which is a weird feeling for me since I feel the need to handle it. That is the thing with feelings, sometimes we need to handle them to maintain the normal order of things. I was planning on doing one of my romantic writings, which few people have ever laid eyes upon, but sitting in front of the computer I picture all the thoughts throughout my day, and I am unable to actually have a thread of thought. So though, no romantic Pedro, maybe it wasn't a romantic day, when I was coming home I was considering going into sarcastic mode, it sees to work well with me... Well if I do it I’ll talk about it later.
The thing is I heard a song today I haven't heard in a while which makes me remember how things work, and how you should play it... check it out... In normal text :P...
It's alright to tell me what you think about me, I won't try to argue or hold it against you. I know that you're leaving and you must have your reasons, the season is calling and your pictures are falling down. The steps that I retrace and the sad look on your face, the timing and structure, did you hear he fucked her?
A day late and a buck short I'm writing the report on losing and failing, when I move I'm flailing now and it'll happen once again I'll turn to a friend, someone that understands and sees through the master plan, but everybody's gone and I've been here for too long to face this on my own... Well I guess this is growing up... Well I guess this is growing up...
And maybe I'll see you at a movie sneak preview, you'll show up and walk by on the arm of that guy, and I'll smile and you'll wave, we'll pretend it's okay the charade it won't last, when he's gone I won't come back... And it'll happen once again I'll turn to a friend, someone that understands and sees through the master plan, but everybody's gone and I've been here for too long to face this on my own... Well I guess this is growing up... Well I guess this is growing up...

Although the lyric is better I leave you also the song ;)

Cleaning day

Cleaning day is normally a resentful day, at least if you are not a clean freak (you know who you are :P). When you think of cleaning it is always a boring and methodical thing, a sort of rot that you try to postpone as much as you can.
Well today I had my cleaning day, we have a rotational system in the house, and it was quite good. Don't get me wrong cleaning is still awful to my eyes, but by doing it you feel useful, you can see results, and if you are doing it well you will break a sweet. Actually that is the thing, physical things, no intellectual bullshit, just pure and simple action is good for the mind and soul.
A good sweet, the one you feel proud of, not like just running, but running when you want to run, the sweet that you feel in your mind and soul... (Or maybe I am too spiritual today :P)
So I’ll finish on this thought: If you break a sweet in your soul you'll fell it is there...

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Forced Thought

It is funny how our brain works, I had a topic in hand but strangely enough my thoughts are in its way. It is a simple topic and quite curious about people hobbies and in which way it helps or defines them.
Other thoughts slip in, after all this one is already defined, I simply didn't share it yet, and it seems I wont due to the thought that I have at the moment, even though I am describing this to set a clear thought line that might help bringing back to topic. Funny how much I can write without saying a word, the music doesn't help, makes me wonder, makes me dream, and yet it was music on the basis of the topic of today.
I went to a concert of one of technicians of our labs, he plays the guitar which came as a surprise to me since I always saw him as the technician.
After listening to a pretty nice set of songs (and don't get me wrong by nice I mean easy listening, so not brilliant but nice) I was considering the label I put on the bloke, I know it is normal to label and also is normal to try and defend that we don't. But in this case it is interesting how a hobby can reshape people's views of you, think about it, in what way do your hobbies work for you, making you feel good? Perhaps complete? How about your job? Not so much? But yet we tend to give more value to people's jobs than to their hobbies, when their hobbies define them better. Something to bear in mind, ask for hobbies you'll learn more than by finding out about the job.
I wanted to talk also about how we deal with hobbies, how we envision them, how we prioritize life but... Never mind for today I strained my brain of its center for enough time.