Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Post Blue...

Not blue post :P, the post blue is a perfect topic, well not really but I have it in my head for the whole day so you have to put up with it. This is not an original topic, considering it is the title for the song I am introducing today. Not a new song, just more, let's present, this one won against the slower song of the day. Honestly they intend the same thing but one is more to the world, and the other is more, let's say private. Besides I really want to talk about this song with a tittle that is not used anywhere in its lyric, but yet it makes perfect sense... How? Well it is not really a song about how, but more a song about why, thus if you don't get it, well you probably never will, which is fine, I probably don't get it either and just think I do ;P.
The other song goes straight for my night tomorrow, a week of normal schedule just made me realise I want and need the change in my schedule. Quoting another song, "things will never be the same, life is changing", well let change come I am ready and open for it. For now world this is two versions of the song, normal under a great video of a great tv series, the other live showing how awesome Placebo is...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What Goes Around...

... goes around and comes back around. Or at least this is true with this song. Today I stumble upon this version of it, which made me decide next chance I get to see this dude live I'll take it. It seems quite a show, a music show, who would have known :P.
Anyway, this is one of those songs that I liked and got hooked on for a while, in a time when let's say I was seeing the lyrics as something in front of me, well "funny thing about that is" now "I don't think about", the question of "Is this it?" was fully answered, as it was always clear in my head, but you give people a chance for surprising you... One of my rules, regardless of what you know, give people the chance to get there on their own...
This song now just makes me smirk, considering the reasons behind it, well I don't want to, I am pretty sure I have a clear idea thus I don't even dive into them...
A lesson of life, not all in a literal sense, but some of the sentences of the song just stick, and this version well it has something extra... Enjoy...

I have to reconsider my views of this dude, perhaps there is something more that just a catchy tune or two...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Some songs...

Today a very small post, very simple topic, songs that aren't particularly good but get stuck in your head. Today I had one of these moments with the song that I am including in the post. I know the song isn't particularly good, but I like it, it appeals to something in me, either the rhythm, or words, or whatever, it works. This troubles me a bit, the fact that we can be targeted by artificial art, well maybe this is a bit harsh, but fuck, they follow a recipe for success which works, and for a strange reason even if we can see past it, we still like the song. Tell me am I the only one that finds this weird? Well listen to the song and tell me what you think...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Lightning Crashes...

I will start by apologising for the possible failure of this post, it is a quite personal one, which is not something I do particularly well.
This tittle comes out of the song attached to this post, this song came to me while in the boat trip in Milos, quite strange since I haven't heard in ages, at least not consciously, the sceptic in me tells me probably I heard it somewhere in the island. Regardless of this it was stuck in my head, mostly the sound, not the lyrics, for a strange reason the lyrics on this song are not very clear to me. At first I thought they meant more, after I got back and I saw the lyrics I realised I was misunderstanding some of it, which in turn made me think it was less, but really looking at them, well they intend what I originally thought :P. Before you complain I know I am hiding behind borrowed words again, but I am trying.
This is not an official statement, but the meaning of this song is attached with a lightning crashing in my life, one of those quite rare events that as a lightning happen when and where you least expect them. Those moment charged with energy of life, with the power for immense things, the potential for greatness, like a lightning the raw energy that requires a mean to be used and not wasted. I feel like taking this metaphor further, so I apologise if you aren't able to follow it. The lightning crashes when the tension between the earth and sky become to much to take, the collision of two giants for a brief moment, but also their connection, their passion, their power. A bit philosophical, but in life when do these moments of tension happen? Well those who know me might find the answer a bit weird, you simply feel it, and when you can feel it, well little matters besides this indescribable force of nature. We can be as sceptic as we want, live as one, but if we are lucky at least once the lightning strikes, for the real lucky more than once, after all it is all a matter of odds, or at least that is what the sceptical will say ;P.
The song demonstrates a clear sense in randomness of life, things are random and yet there is a sense to it, a cycle, a direction, or at least that is what we would like to believe. I admit I am the first one not to go for these sort of thoughts, but at times when I feel no need to think about them, well for moments all looks so align in a random symmetry, which crumbles as soon as you question it. Like understanding of life is attached to not questioning what seems to make sense. Perhaps it's just the illusion of meaning, thus failing the test of reason, or reason is a flawed tool for certain matters. All interesting thoughts, but I believe I am drifting from me towards world abstractions.
Why do I have the need to write this, well I want to wait for the official moment, it sounds a bit stupid since I am certain of it now, I kind of was for a while, but my rules and regulations developed throughout the years (for a reason) had to followed. The maze that I have built is there for several reasons, protection and worthiness being among the highest. This is beside the point I guess, the thing is that last line was rewritten a couple of times, let's see it is going too much in to my core, and it is beside the point. The thing is I had my official moment, which sound quite heavy, but is not really, it is just words tend to complicate things more, go figure, how we can transform a tool for communication and understanding into a complicated aggregation of things that barely explains what we mean, and yet provides it with much more heaviness than it is intended :P. So in a blunt way of the official things, I leave it another day.
As for what I think and feel, well I am happy, which is a big word for someone like me, and the reason, well I couldn't ever complain about my life, but when the lightning crashes, well you can feel it...

Tick box post

A quick post for today, since I don't want to give too much away, why? well honestly not in a writing mood, or a song mood. If I had to put something it would be my new rediscovery, but that one will have to come with a lot more than what I am willing to write today, so let's call this a tick box post. Done.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

A world of worlds...

So apparently I'll have to explain this theory, a request from the far east, well at least it is a international blog, written in Europe and with requests from Thailand :P, anyway I always like the participation so here goes one of my unshared theories.
Firstly I have to mention this is not a new theory, it is something that in a way or another has always been present...
A world of worlds, well this actually says it all, although I guess some insight is required to truly understand it. Some people have quite complex worlds, some have very simple ones, it all depends on the individual and their surroundings. I guess I should start by the definition of the context for this, namely the definition of world. A world is one's reality, one's circumstances, one's self, I guess this last one summarizes it. The true definition of one's world is one's self, the definition of who we are. Don't get this wrong because this is key for the understanding of this theory. Basically to understand one needs to ask the question, how do I define myself? Whatever that includes will define your world, or at least part of it... The influence of other worlds is unavoidable in this definition, other people, other circumstances, the cross paths of different realities.
When I consider this, I came to this, I am a world of worlds, I am a mere combination of other worlds. Don't get this wrong it is not to say I am not an individual on my own, but the other worlds seems so much better, I mean I am a world of worlds, but what worlds... I surround myself with the most amazing worlds (people), some temporally, some I think for my whole life, but the fact of the manner is a world of worlds, where I can influence them all but not truly live in any of them, where you have the insight for the beyond, where you play a key role in the backstage... Again not a bad thing, it is a choice of being, the decision of being for others, for those that matter... I am a person of convictions, all inside my all have my full protection, unfortunately there is a limit to the amount of worlds my world can contain, I try to overstretch it but I realist on this, I know there is just so much you can do.
The problem of this is, in a world of worlds it is hard to keep track of your own unique being, the complexities of the surrounding worlds affect us, now imagine the containment of other worlds... It is quite a difficult task to manoeuvre one's direction in life, again not complaining, simply stating fact. The complexity of all this is increase by the fact that we need to give up worlds at times, which if they are a part of you, well it is one of those simple complexities of being me. I am a rock when it is required, for good and bad, but I have to state for the record that I do so completely shutting down my emotional core... Whatever that means.
This is funny, because I been sightly adjusting my world to a new me, this is still a true statement, but I am looking a deeper complexities than this, as in everything nothing is that simple, after all I am structuring this theory into words, that imply more than mean...
The fact of the manner is, I would like to know myself, understand myself, to simply be myself. Sounds weird I know, I should simply be, which is what I try to do, but my brain is a very tiring thing :P. The complexity of being me is that I guess, knowing things because I think, and knowing I shouldn't at times. Like I said once, "I am a very simple person, in a very complex way" ;)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The meaningful nothingness...

A post written without a direction, point or purpose. Perhaps this is a bit of an exaggeration considering I am writing it. Regardless of the vicissitudes of my complexities, this is my intention. The phone rang, interrupted this wave of writing, the voice of possibility shows me just that, emphasises the strange complexities of mixed feelings. The expectations for the future are, yes they simply are, contrasting for their previous absence. The knowledge of one's future in the abstract is only a blip in comparison to its possible application. I can bullshit some much :P, PhD in the making I guess. The point I want to make is valid, when we want to, really want to, we can project our future with a certain abstraction and randomness on the details, for example "I'll get a job in a certain field". This is a mere intellectual exercise for our own reassurance, but it also drains a bit of the surprise factors of life, if you are good at this exercise that is. If it would only be this simple, things can be so much more than our expectations, they can be exactly what we described but yet the description seems to fall short of its impact on us. The crude intellectual will tell you what it is, you know it, but it doesn't quite cover it.
This is sounding quite depressing when in fact I am quite good. This works for the good and the bad, I guess it works even better for the good considering people are overly concerned by nature, thus describing the lows much more accurately, that or the fact that we mostly have lows so we have experience :P. What an awful thought, but it might be true, I just write what comes to mind so you should blame the brain, I am perfectly innocent here ;P.
The fact is I wrote quite a bit and I still have no topic in mind for this post, change? Well there are some changes coming my way, or they already got here. That is probably more accurate, they have occurred, or at most in the process of... I don't why I suggested change, I have the need to state a lot about it, but not have really come to terms with this exposure. On the upside my friends are in their majority quite aware of the events in my life, in that sense this blog has helped me to actually open up more, at least to does who matter and you can access. Another lesson is it is fucking hard to define a speech to the world, like when you are doing a presentation you should know your audience before you prepare it to ensure you do well. To present to the world and do well is quite tricky, not that it really matters to me, but seriously it is a shortcoming and I hate those. The power of abstraction is the ability to speak your mind for a global understanding but to no real insight. To those who read this blog and are not in the loop it all looks like whatever you want it to be, for those who know more, well they have some insight... So much to say about this, so little patience, in reality the only view that matters is my own, and even if I don't cover up my bases using abstraction, I would say that in most of the cases I could twist and bend it to serve my needs. That one came out of nowhere, my brain is quite tricky sometimes giving counter arguments even when I don't require them.
Still no topic, funny how time frames can describe us, how the mere glimpse of us is conditioned by time, the wisdom of age I guess, like the quote "don't take life too seriously, no one comes out alive anyway", quite true, and yet it is one of those paradoxes, when you don't take it too seriously, you are really taking it, you live it, you free yourself to live it... One of my ramblings :P, this brain is weird today.
A lot has been written, I would say the lesser bored at this point have already passed on reading this, :P, not sure that was my intention, perhaps it was...
The loneliness of being alone among others is no stranger to me, or to most of us I would say, what about the loneliness of being alone without feeling it, also familiar? what about not feeling it while being completely aware you are physically alone? well perhaps it is another of those ramblings again :P
To the world of worlds, to my world, to the keeper of worlds, to the handler, to the persona I can be and sometimes am, I believe it is time for a new exploration period, something that has been building up since I started this blog, perhaps even one of the triggers for it... Doesn't make sense? well never said I would always make sense in this place, the place for my senselessness ;P.
I would like to stop, but honestly it is hard without a topic, what did I really say? Nothing in the form of a lot, nothing that prepares you for the something you can't understand until it has been said. The meaningful nothingness, ehehehe, good topic, done, well for now anyway...

Who to address?

Indeed on a day where work took all of my time away, only a nice walk home could have put this thought in my head, I could just talk about my holiday, and yet here I am deciding about who to address while I write this blog. This is something I have considered a lot, the fact that I can't really distance myself from writing without considering the audience. This does not really clash with the idea of the blog, to talk more about myself, so I let it through, but now it becomes an issue... What do you do when the past, present and future clash? well you choose the future, seems perfectly logical, but you do want to do it without clashing all to hell. Anyway that was just a small let's say stupid consideration, moving on...
Today I started to get a weird feeling sinking in, one of those that my fellow country men can understand very well but it takes several words to describe in english... It is funny to had this feeling attached to a certain enjoyment, to a moment in time where I clearly see myself, my own world and not simply a combination of worlds. Fuck I haven't actually talk about that theory, well if you want to learn about just ask, this seems like a safe way not to say more considering the low feedback I get :P.
Work late, really late, and still all is well in Nottingham, it could be better but the expectation is also nice...
Now the first photos from my holiday check out my AWESOME BUGGY...

And one of the beaches, or bitches :P (private joke)

It all looks horrible doesn't it? ;P

Now for a AWESOME SONG, it has been stuck to me all day, and it has a nice video with it ;p enjoy...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hands Down...(due to song)

So today I am back to a more or less normal schedule, yet this was the task that I dreaded more to do, thus I left it for last in this re-settling in my computer. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem of writing, I am just a little bit concern on what will come out...
So here is the deal today I will avoid most of the main topics, and I'll provide more insight through time...
Anyway I was going to put some pictures of the holiday but it is late and the computer is not helping, I have a early meeting, tomorrow a very extensive post, that one is guarantee...
I have to mention departures suck... enjoy the song...

cool right? ;)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Quick one...

Seems like lately I don't have the discipline to keep the blog running, not for lack of subjects, but for lack of time and mental availability, for that I apologize.
Nevertheless I wanted to drop a few lines, at the moment I am writing a section for a European project proposal, it is mostly presenting the concept in the best way, which is tricky considering my mind is not really in it. But today it has to be done, and this is a powerful force "has to" :p.
A lot more to tell, probably during next week I'll go back to my regular schedule, at least temporally, and I'll be able to cover the past topics ;P.
I leave you with a nice song hope you like it, works well for all of us who are working, not for the lyric but for the beat :P

Friday, August 15, 2008

Infiltrated post... (No son of mine)

Today I was suppose to talk about the holidays, but considering I have no photos in the computer I choose to write about something else, and also not what happen in the morning, even though that might be very funny and interesting ;P (Private joke).
Although this post goes against my general mood, this song came into my play list thus triggering this post. Not sure how to approach this one maybe using the lyrics first, probably just the lyrics, since I am not there, and I don't think I'll ever be there...

Well the key to my survival
Was never in much doubt
The question was how I could keep sane
Trying to find a way out

Things were never easy for me
Peace of mind was hard to fin
And I needed a place where I could hide
Somewhere I could call mine

I didnt think much about it
Til it started happening all the time
Soon I was living with the fear everyday
Of what might happen that night

I couldnt stand to hear the
Crying of my mother
And I remember when
I swore that, that would be the
Last theyd see of me
And I never went home again

They say that time is a healer
And now my wounds are not the same
I rang the bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what hed say

He sat me down to talk to me
He looked me straight in the eyes

He said:

Youre no son, youre no son of mine
Youre no son, youre no son of mine
You walked out, you left us behind
And youre no son, no son of mine

Oh, his words how they hurt me, Ill never forget it
And as the time, it went by, I lived to regret it

Youre no son, youre no son of mine
But where should I go,
And what should I do
Youre no son, youre no son of mine
But I came here for help, oh I came here for you

Well the years they passed so slowly
I thought about him everyday
What would I do, if we passed on the street
Would I keep running away

In and out of hiding places
Soon Id have to face the facts
Wed have to sit down and talk it over
And that would mean going back

They say that time is a healer
And now my wounds are not the same
I rang that bell with my heart in my mouth
I had to hear what hed say

He sat me down to talk to me
He looked me straight in the eyes

He said:

Youre no son, youre no son of mine
Youre no son, youre no son of mine
When you walked out, you left us behind
And youre no son, youre no son of mine

Oh, his words how they hurt me, Ill never forget it
And as the time, it went by, I lived to regret it

Youre no son, youre no son of mine
But where should I go and what should I do
Youre no son, youre no son of mine
But I came here for help, oh I was looking for you
Youre no son, youre no son of mine - oh
Youre no son - ha yeah, ha yeah, ha yeah, ha yeah
Youre no son, youre no son of mine - oh, oh...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Back and in need of changing some habits...

Right, a very small post to bring the realization that my normal way of writing is not working out anymore, as such I'll introduce new times to write posts.
Anyway, that was more of a foot note that anything else, to the nice bit, my holidays :D, well the word I used most was awesome, bare in my that my expectations for Greece where very low due to previous disappointment, this gave it a better view since I only looked at the good, in en sight it was the same just with different company and that can make a big difference especially with different expectations :P. Great I didn't want to approach the topic of expectations and thus I rap it up now :P.
I'll post some pictures and thought collected during the holiday but for now this needs to be short because I have to save my writing bullshit abilities for a proposal I am writing, that and the lack of time so, talk to you soon at different times (Trying to keep the one post a day thing, lets hope :P).