I will start by apologising for the possible failure of this post, it is a quite personal one, which is not something I do particularly well.
This tittle comes out of the song attached to this post, this song came to me while in the boat trip in Milos, quite strange since I haven't heard in ages, at least not consciously, the sceptic in me tells me probably I heard it somewhere in the island. Regardless of this it was stuck in my head, mostly the sound, not the lyrics, for a strange reason the lyrics on this song are not very clear to me. At first I thought they meant more, after I got back and I saw the lyrics I realised I was misunderstanding some of it, which in turn made me think it was less, but really looking at them, well they intend what I originally thought :P. Before you complain I know I am hiding behind borrowed words again, but I am trying.
This is not an official statement, but the meaning of this song is attached with a lightning crashing in my life, one of those quite rare events that as a lightning happen when and where you least expect them. Those moment charged with energy of life, with the power for immense things, the potential for greatness, like a lightning the raw energy that requires a mean to be used and not wasted. I feel like taking this metaphor further, so I apologise if you aren't able to follow it. The lightning crashes when the tension between the earth and sky become to much to take, the collision of two giants for a brief moment, but also their connection, their passion, their power. A bit philosophical, but in life when do these moments of tension happen? Well those who know me might find the answer a bit weird, you simply feel it, and when you can feel it, well little matters besides this indescribable force of nature. We can be as sceptic as we want, live as one, but if we are lucky at least once the lightning strikes, for the real lucky more than once, after all it is all a matter of odds, or at least that is what the sceptical will say ;P.
The song demonstrates a clear sense in randomness of life, things are random and yet there is a sense to it, a cycle, a direction, or at least that is what we would like to believe. I admit I am the first one not to go for these sort of thoughts, but at times when I feel no need to think about them, well for moments all looks so align in a random symmetry, which crumbles as soon as you question it. Like understanding of life is attached to not questioning what seems to make sense. Perhaps it's just the illusion of meaning, thus failing the test of reason, or reason is a flawed tool for certain matters. All interesting thoughts, but I believe I am drifting from me towards world abstractions.
Why do I have the need to write this, well I want to wait for the official moment, it sounds a bit stupid since I am certain of it now, I kind of was for a while, but my rules and regulations developed throughout the years (for a reason) had to followed. The maze that I have built is there for several reasons, protection and worthiness being among the highest. This is beside the point I guess, the thing is that last line was rewritten a couple of times, let's see it is going too much in to my core, and it is beside the point. The thing is I had my official moment, which sound quite heavy, but is not really, it is just words tend to complicate things more, go figure, how we can transform a tool for communication and understanding into a complicated aggregation of things that barely explains what we mean, and yet provides it with much more heaviness than it is intended :P. So in a blunt way of the official things, I leave it another day.
As for what I think and feel, well I am happy, which is a big word for someone like me, and the reason, well I couldn't ever complain about my life, but when the lightning crashes, well you can feel it...