Friday, December 26, 2008

Late Christmas post.... (plus 2008 CD :P)

Well after a few days without posts I do have a lot to say, from my trip to Geres to my Christmas surprise. It is hard for me to find the time to structure all I have to say, perhaps it is a matter of sitting down and doing it, but this is not the post for that...
In this post I would like to share with the world my Christmas CD, on the next I will talk about the Christmas plot and consequent surprise :P.
For now enjoy the selection...

(Sorry but I can't find a better video for the next one)

Like always (I do one of these every Christmas) I tried to put something new, something old, some more fun, some more deep, hope you like the mix ;)...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Portugal time...

Well time to go back home, and Friday time to go to the north, where my rest will happen, hopefully with batteries charged all will seem clear... Couldn't find a video in the winter, but it should be as awesome as this... Enjoy...

Hopefully I will have pictures to share that include yours truly ... ;P

Friday, December 12, 2008


Well today I decided to let my frustrations of my PhD on the shelf and take on some grading of courseworks that have been in my desk for a while. Now i know I am technically still a student, as such I don't want to generalize too much the word student. Nevertheless I wanted to share some thoughts...
The first one is grading takes way longer than you expect, why? Well pretty much the most used word on my comments, why? Seriously I said on all the tutorial sessions, all decisions are valid just describe your reasoning behind it. Is that hard? Well I got quotes like "We decided this..." with no reasons like their decision was like a godsend. Trying to get what they mean, that is a major time killer, like I got a diagram with arrows pointing at nowhere, literally nowhere, do they even look at the shit they deliver?
I know, I was a student not that long ago, but was I that bad? honestly I know it is a cliche, but I sware that the level is going way down, or my country is different, or I don't know. Bare in mind this is MSI level coursework, seriously WTF? Another general comment I wish I could make to their face.
Before you think I am being mean, I am passing every single one of them, and out 6 probably giving 2 firsts (so the top grade), but still there is the frustration because they don't listen, or don't think, well maybe it is just me...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The quest...

One of the key challenges in ones life is finding the right quest to drive us to live. Sounds a bit weird the first time you read it, I guess, but think about it, doesn't it make sense? Finding what drives us, where we want to go, rather than where we are going. It is easy to find where we are headed, just takes a bit of reasoning, but finding out where we want to go, well that involves how we feel about things, how easy do we accept things that might not make sense, how we deal with our thoughts, our dreams, etc. Putting all of that into an equation, and producing an answer... Is it any wonder that we get it wrong most of the times? That is I think one of the reasons people change their minds about their direction, it is not they changed, but simply considered another variable of the equation. In engineering we used multi-variant statistics to deal with such problems. Problems that have multiple variants that cross affect each other. In engineering it is acceptable to define a statistic that most of the time is right, thus there is no need to model the complete equation, but is this enough in life? Specially when we are not aware of effects of errors? There is no reboot for our life is there? Choices can be binding, this scares us, and thus a 10% error is not really acceptable...
So I leave you with something to consider, the fact that you don't define a quest doesn't mean you wont live according to one. Listen to the song, and answer the questions that it poses, you might be surprised to find that you have more answers that you think, and at the same time less answers than you would hope...

I’m leaving tonight
Going somewhere deep inside my mind
I close my eyes slowly
Float away slowly
But I know I’ll be alright

It’s calling stronger to me
And I know someone is out there
Lead the way
Lead the way
Show me the answers I need to know

What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that

What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that

All my life (love), it is
It is all my love
All my life, it is
I know it is the life to live lately
From above, I hear
I hear the sound of them singing
I feel loved, I’m alive
I know I’m getting closer

What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that

What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that

My life has had it’s share of troubles
And now I found a place to go
I’ve said goodbye to all my troubles
'cause now I’ve found my place to go


What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that

What I’m gonna live for
What I’m gonna die for
Who you gonna fight for
I can’t answer that

Live For
Die For
Fight For

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Bad day...

Today it has been one of those days that wasn't bad, but it feels it. When you have a bad day, not because of what you lived but how you felt while living it. Does that makes any sense? Perhaps not, but it is still true. Well like this video point out, there is always a bring side, but sometimes you see this bring side but you can only focus on the down side of life... Anyways enjoy the song and video...

Monday, December 8, 2008

The downfall of the west...

Today I had a really interesting conversation in my office that I would like to share with you. First some background knowledge, as you might be aware I am a PhD student at the University of Nottingham. This is a big university in the UK, but also has two campuses outside of the UK, namely in Malaysia and China. This is the start for the post...
One of my former colleagues is currently a lecture in the China campus, which by itself is a footnote. But if we look at the picture more carefully, he is a German graduate with a UK PhD teaching in a Chinese University. Still don't see a problem? Well for him it is quite positive to do so, he gets experience, knowledge, etc. But is it good for Germany and the UK? I mean in Europe, as you might be aware, the government pays for your education, including on the university level, without asking for anything in return. Normally you will work and contribute with your taxes for others. There are a lot of issues about the famous "leak of brains", which consist of the higher educated people moving out of the country that has provided them with their education. But this post is not about this aspect, it is about knowledge, and how this knowledge is being managed, or not managed...
This is my question, the west still has a good stand in the world due to its technological development, so what happens if we lose this advantage? I mean does anybody in the western governments consider these issues? Is there a strategic view that I am missing?
I was discussing this with two colleagues, one from Indonesia and another from Holland. The view is that we are trying to keep good relations with the Chinese, because in the future this will provide bridges that will enhance our own growth. Is it just me or does that sound terribly optimistic? I mean we are using the Chinese because they produce things cheaply, not because of the goodness in our hearts, so why would they treat us differently if they where the power?
The transfer of technology is a growing concern among European companies, in private they are starting to state that going to China is a mistake. In a ideal world it is a good idea, but since China plays by its own rules, we are just facilitating the copy of technology by taking our processes there. But this is a known problem that should be resolved by the companies, my reservations are about the universities.
The university of Nottingham is a state funded university, that is strategically placing itself in China. From the university perspective, this is a good move, more people, more knowledge being produce, and a real bridge into a new economic power. But is this good for the general people in UK that are paying for this university?
The fact of the matter is that knowledge is being shared without any accountability, meaning this knowledge will be used to push even more the Chinese companies, which are competing against the British ones. Now some of you will say, well if they can't compete they should not exist anyway. Well this might be true in an ideal world, but again China does not play by the same rules as we do, labor is quite different there, and they do take advantage of that fact.
As was pointed out to me, things are changing in china, and I do agree to that, but are they changing at the same pace as the growth? I have no problem with China as a supper power, all the Chinese that I meet personally are nice, friendly, and no different from any other people (obviously different but the same :P). I have no problem with the Chinese people, but I do have problems with a Chinese government as is being a super power.
The way I see it, regimes can't change by themselves, people change them, and the fact is that this Chinese government is improving peoples lives in China. As such people will be supportive of them, thus we are walking into a world with little changes in the Chinese regime, but huge changes in the role of China. This is clear and clear as the year pass, look at the influence of China in the world now, and 20 years ago.
My question is what is our strategy for this? Innovation? Come on, this will only gets us that far, considering we are teaching them how to do it...
Are we selling our sons future for a better present? I mean I love the fact I can by a pound T-shirt at Primark, but is it really worth it? Don't get me wrong I am not against globalization, and I don't think it is the common people that should be concern with what they pay for a T-Shirt. What I am saying is the governments should have some sort of strategy that is more than just the immediate future. Where are we headed in the next 20 years, and not just the next 2. This is why the smartest should be in the goverment, because they can see beyond what the common people do. But this is also quite ideal, the reality is we have the goverment we deserve.
Nevertheless I am scare at the lack of strategy for the future, or at least one that I can see as good for the west...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Learn To Fly...

After a couple of days of absence due to a series of reasons (mostly health and time), I am back. Back and in a good mood. Why? Well my life doesn't have many reasons for complaining, not being able to write a bloody paper seems below me now ;P. And no I haven't finished it, but I am pretty sure I will quite soon, simply because I am now witting it.
Today I started the day with music, I haven't heard music in a while, like really heard it... And today I did, and I noticed how my brain adjusted the lyric to me, this was what it did...
I ran and told all of the angels, this took all night, I thought I needed a devil to help me get things right. Hooked on a new revolution, cause this one was a lie, I sat around laughing and watched the last one die.
And looking to the sky to save me, looking for a sign of life, looking for something to help me burn out bright. I was looking for a complication, looking cause I was tired of lying, well make my way back home when I learn to fly high...
I think I'm done nursing the patience, it couldn’t wait one night, I'd give it all away if you give me one last try, we'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life, so run and tell the angels that everything's alright...
while looking to the sky to save me, looking for a sign of life, looking for something to help me burn out bright. while looking for a complication, looking cause I was tired of lying, well make my way back home when I learn to fly high, make my way back home when I learn to... Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone, try to make this life my own...Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone, try to make this life my own... I was looking to the sky to save me, looking for a sign of life (sign of life), looking for something to help me burn out bright. I was looking for a complication, looking cause I'm tired of trying (tired of trying), make my way back home when I learn to...I was looking to the sky to save me, looking for a sign of life (sign of life), looking for something to help me burn out bright. I stooped looking for a complication cause I'm tired of trying...
Make my way back home now that I learn to fly high... Make my way back home now that I learn to fly.... Make my way back home now that I learn to… (Learn to, learn to, learn to, learn to…)

Hope it makes sense, it did for me. This is a awesome song and it has a awesome video clip so enjoy...

I can't resist to also post the acoustic version, very cool...

Friday, November 28, 2008

The freshmen...

Well today I had a funny topic but this song jumped into my head, and well I had to talk about it. Age brings several things, namely experience. This is somewhat of an abstract concept when we are young. It is not that we don't understand it, but we simply don't really understand its value. Therefore when we are told how important it is, we simply disregard it, after all we know better. The absolute knowledge is a young indicator, and although I am one of those people that still acts will a lot of hints of absolute knowledge, I can say that age does provide me we better insight on which situations it is acceptable to do so.
"When I was young I knew everything", something very exaggerated? Perhaps, but how well did you think you knew yourself? And did you? We are all more idealistic when young, and become more cynical with time. The world shapes us to be smart, or at least for those of us who survive better than others. Don't take this the wrong way, but how did you make friends when you were young? How about now? I can picture some of you saying it is quite different, but think about how different is it? More suspicious? Why is that? Because you have bigger knowledge about the world perhaps? A better understanding of how wrong things can go?
"For the life I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we never compromised...", can you? The simplicity of being young, of only seeing the potential, living on expectations, like freshmen...
Freshmen are full of expectations and dreams, time provides the sad realizations of life. Don't get me wrong life is not sad, or at least it doesn't have to be. What I mean is things are how they are, and a freshmen can't see things for what they are but for what he expects them to be. As usual we are our own worst enemies, hoping too much kills even the best things in our lives, and this realization comes with age, you learn and if you are smart adapt to it... And the cycle continues...
Sometimes I feel the need not to know but knowing, have the experience without having it. Like right now I am pretty sure that the future me could kick my ass into shape, but only because I am living through this period... The answer will come, one way or the other, but you have to wait for it... In the mean time you can always reminisce about your previous time as a freshmen...

P.S.- Take a break and look at the lyrics in the video...

Thursday, November 27, 2008

O pastor (the pastor)...

In a day that my football team is humiliated, I too feel with them, as such I want to share a song with you, it will be a quick post but I'll translate the simplicity of these lyrics, which I think wont make justice to the song. Listen and feel...

Ai que ninguém volta (Ai = Hard realisation, pain)
(Ai that nobody returns)
ao que já deixou
(to what one has left behind)
ninguém larga a grande roda
(nobody is detached from the big wheel)
ninguém sabe onde é que andou
(nobody knows where one self has been)

Ai que ninguém lembra
(Ai that nobody remembers)
nem o que sonhou
(not even what one has dreamed)
(e) aquele menino canta
(and that kid sings)
a cantiga do pastor
(the song of the pastor)

Ao largo
(In the wide space)
ainda arde
(it still burns)
a barca
(the naval ship)
da fantasia
(of fantasy)
e o meu sonho acaba tarde
(and my dream ends late)
deixa a alma de vigia
(leaves my soul on watch)
Ao largo
(In the wide space)
ainda arde
(it still burns)
a barca
(the naval ship)
da fantasia
(of fantasy)
e o meu sonho acaba tarde
(and my dream ends late)
acordar é que eu não queria.
(waking up is what i didn't want.)

Doesn't make sense? Well I feel sad I don't have to always make sense...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Robots and beyond...

Well this post is a bit late because yesterday I had to leave in a rush, nevertheless the promised post is here. This is not really my research topic, but it is a topic within my skill set. The fact that I am talking about this is simply because I spent yesterday discussing the matter, and finding solutions for a given problem involving robots.
So lets start how I start my classes on the matter, robots are as dumb as the program that they are running, so for those of you who think robots are intelligent think again. The robot is a piece of hardware which has the potential to execute tasks, some are more complex that others. The key aspect to determine the flexibility of a robot is how many degrees of freedom does it have. What does this mean? Well basically it means in how many axis can the robot move on. A simple example is a Cartesian robot that moves on the "X" axis and "Y" axis, thus having 2 degrees of freedom. If you can rotate on the "X" axis as well then you have 3 degrees of freedom. It seems more complicated that it really is, since normally we don't go above 6 degrees of freedom for articulated robots. These are the robots based on the human arm. A cool exercise is to determine where you have you joints in the arm and determine why you have 6 degrees of freedom, but this is a exercise for geeky people ;P.
Before moving away from the basics I should mention kinematics, robots use kinematics to execute their movement. What this means is that there is a complex mathematical model behind the each movement, however this is not taken into account unless you are planing trajectories. Normally you "tell" the robot to go to a position, and the robot control using kinematics gets the robot to go there. Why do we need kinematics? Well basically when you are moving 6 joints to reach a point, all joints affect each others movements, thus they have to be compensating for it towards reaching the given point. If you are curious to understand more about this you can google it ;P.
Now that we cover the very basics, I can introduce the problems I was handling yesterday. So different robot manufactures use different control algorithms and different ways to interface with the robot. This cases a problem when you are integrating a robot into a assembly line, since there is no guaranty that it will operate with the control structure you are using. In fact all equipment in the line has this problem, thus why integration ends up being more expensive than the actual equipment in the line. To try and tackle this we are using a "plug and produce" concept, which is based on the computer "plug and play". For those who don't know anything about this, basically it is the concept that you plug for example your MP3 player to the computer and it works. The difference is the USB standard interface doesn't really exist. Sounds simple just create an interface, right? Wrong, the problem is that in assembly the equipment has different needs thus requires different and complex interfaces, plus the fact that manufactures want to keep their market share, so the collaboration between competing companies is hard. But I am going of topic here.
For the robots, the suppliers provide little insight on the robots control, and as such makes it hard to do what we are trying to do, which is to create a rapper around the whole unit and provide automatic reprogramming of it. To achieve this we need to interface directly with the robots commands, but the how to extrapolate this into a common control structure? Well mapping is crucial, like the drivers are crucial in your computer, when you don't have the drivers you can plug in all you want because you wont be able to operate it. Drivers come from the mappings and the creation of models, which is part of what we do. Also we want to take this to the next level which is the automatic reprogramming of it. What does this mean, well it means that there would be a generic software that would provide the tools to deal with your MP3 player, but instead of you installing it from your Mp3 player manufacture, you would have a standardize one that would work with any kind of MP3 players. I guess this is enough to give you some insight on the sort of stuff I sometimes have to think about ;P.
I hope it wasn't too boring, thanks for reading ;P...

Monday, November 24, 2008

To write or not to write?

So today I'll write a old style post, no title to start with and seeing where the words take me. The thing is I've spent the whole day not writing what I am suppose to be writing, at this rate I'll never finish the bloody paper. Right maybe I should point that out, I am writing a conference paper, which shouldn't be a big problem. A conference paper doesn't need to be, lets say perfect. It is the lower class publication, the first stone some might say, the direction of the research, preliminary findings etc.
I have enough material for more than one conference paper, I have enough material even for one journal paper, which is the high end. But the fact of the matter is, I can bring myself to write it. I know people say writing is hard, because it depends on the mood, some days you write nothing some days you write loads of pages. I have experienced this before when writing my progress report, but them I was more lost about it, here I know what to do but I don't. It pisses me off, because it is only my fault. I have the time, I have the ideas, but the words don't come to me. Actually that is not even true because once I leave the office I start thinking of it, what needs to be written, how to argue it, etc. As soon as i sit down anything goes for an excuse not to work on it. It might be that I don't think it is good enough for a paper, I guess everybody thinks that, but it is not even that, I've discussed it with others including my supervisor and it is fine. SO WHAT THE FUCK. Some frustration obviously, mainly because this makes me wonder about the whole PhD shit, if I should be doing it. This is a issue that rises every time I write something for the PhD, but now it is even more present, it is like now it is PhD time but I can't focus in it. When your life is going well this sort of shit just makes you feel like shit, it is not that you can't do it, it is simply you can't bother to do it. So how do you get motivation to do what you must, when it is about writing and inspiration? If you find out let me know, I'll also keep you posted.
Writing is the art of bullshiting in a coherent way, when there are no lifelines like seeing peoples expressions, you need to anticipate questions and lead the reader toward what you want to say. It has to make sense, be appealing, it has to flow, it has to sound good, it has to look it as well. The thing is sometimes you are not aware of what you want to say, I mean not in general terms, but in concrete terms you want to say a lot, but you are unsure of what it your ultimate point. Sometimes this comes out of writing, basically you had not point to begin with, but at the end well... I am writing a post from nothing ;P
Anyways I am rambling, tomorrow my post will be about technology, whatever I managed to write tomorrow will be summarized in a post that is a promise. I am better at promises, or so I hope...
Anyway this is the end of the post, so the title should be "To write or not to write?" that is indeed the question.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Feeling adventurous? Can I interest you in some Chinese Cuisine...

Always distrust this question, and if followed my the next statement beware bad omens expect you ;P. OK I might be exaggerating a tiny bit, but first some background knowledge.
There is a Chinese restaurant where I leave, but instead of the traditional western style Chinese places, which have a sort of westernized Chinese food (meaning the flavor is somewhat adjusted :P), I went to this Chinese Chinese place. So you have an idea of the place, there is only a sign in the road only in Chinese (thus I have no clue what it says) in front of a really dodgy alley. How dodgy can an alley be? Well you can only fit a person at a time in the gap between buildings, no lights, so pretty dodgy. At one time I went in, realized it was a restaurant and ate a quite good meal. Bare in mind that there where only Asians around. At that time I ate stuff that I more or less knew, which leaves me with the first advice:
- Don't order things which you have no idea what it is (same goes for eating them ;P).
I went back to this place a couple of times, exploring more and more, and my view of the quality of the place was decreasing exponentially. Until yesterday hit the top bottom (which is a weird English expression, top bottom ;P).
So I got this, well some might call it fondue, but honestly it is a crime to even suggest this comparison, so lets call it the soap on the hot plate. This comes with raw ingredients for you to add into the soap, and then you can fish them out of the pot. Doesn't sound too bad so far right? Well if it did I wouldn't have ordered it :P. The ingredients where vegetables, fish related things (yes things is the right adjective :P), meat (or so it seemed, the taste was a different story) and other things which I still don't know what they are. Why didn't you ask, you might wonder. Well the people serving barely spoke English, thus that wasn't really an option :P.
The result, well see for yourself...

In case you don't think it is too bad, well let me say that I thank the existence of Coca Cola, it is the same pretty much everywhere, and it saves you in these silly adventures. It was so bad that I was full after eating a bit, but really I felt full, like my body was telling me " dude it is OK, we can cope without food for a week if it is necessary, and from what you are eating, IT IS NECESSARY" ;P

Don't get this post wrong you should try different things, but please, please follow the next advice:
- Take a native (In this case a Chinese) you can trust ;P

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Introducing Catherine Tate...

Today I needed a bit of humor, and so I decided to share one of Britain's comedian Catherine Tate, plus you get a taste of the Chav's English ;P

And even the prime minister ;P

Monday, November 17, 2008

Is there such thing as trivial tasks?

This is the sort of question that you ask on the days you have a lot of trivial things to do, and as such you think it won't take much of your time, after all they are trivial... And suddenly it is the end of the day and you did nothing besides the trivial things you had planed for the day. Maybe this only happens to me, but today I came with a big working mood, at the end of the day I have all the trivial things done, which kind feels too little. But the fact of the matter is, didn't surf the web, read the news only once, and the day is gone. I gave my classes, prepared them before hand obviously, had lunch and went to the bank, reply to some emails, fill in my Sweden expenses claims, did my moms coursework and now doing my post. Seriously I don't get where the time went...
Tasks are trivial, but that doesn't make the time pass in a trivial manner does it? Time is that constant that passes regardless of you, but it is such a pain in the ass that sometimes it gives you the perception that it passes faster and slower. When things are good, we have the perception of time flying by (like today, good working mood), when thing are shit, well time lags... I don't know maybe it is just me needing to complain today...
To answer the question, there are trivial tasks but their are bound by the same time constraints as the regular tasks (I don't want to go into complex ones ;P).

Friday, November 14, 2008


Inertia is the tendency that bodies have to maintain their state of motion or rest. In other words if something is moving it has a tendency to keep moving, and if something is at rest (no motion) it has the tendency to stay that way. This is a basic rule of physics that most fail to realize but all assume their consequences. How? If you are standing in a moving bus as soon as it stops you have a tendency to continue moving, thus you need to grab something not to fall. Same thing goes when it start moving again, but this time the opposite happens, you tend to stay at rest.
Physics, this marvel that allows us to understand the concepts and give then names...
Why the physics class? Some of you might be wondering, it is not like I normally bore people the science geeky stuff (or so I hope). The answer is simple, although inertia is a quite known concept applied to the physical world, its relevance in the social behavior is somewhat more obscure (At least in my limit knowledge, I don't know this bridge has ever been done).
I think inertia goes way beyond the physical measurable world, it is a concept that is also present in human behaviour. In fact I think it is something you can't avoid in human behaviour, it is always in the background of our actions or inactions.
Before I go any further, remember that inertia is just a tendency, thus it can be nullified quite easily, at least in the physical world, after all we don't really fall while standing on the bus, do we (Some do but come on ;P)? I stress this because obviously when there is a will inertia has little grasp over the actions and inactions. When you really want something it is not a mere tendency that can stop you, besides after you start it works in your favour ;P. But I am getting ahead of myself...
This tendency is all around us, workaholics can't stop because they are moving thus have a tendency to stay that way. People that never worked have a problem starting, because there is a tendency not to. Starting a new project is always tricky, but working on it is not (at least usually ;P). Personally it is hard for me to start writing for example, but as soon as get going stooping is the problem. I could go on and on but the fact of the matter is examples are all around us...
What I want to do with this post is to say, beware of inertia so not to confuse it with dislike of doing what you need to do, beware of inertia when you feel tired so that you can see the big picture and rest. Simply beware of inertia and remember it is a tendency not a certainty.

P.S.- But I must say fighting it is quite hard, I normally say "A inercia e fudida" freely translates into "Inertia is a bitch". Normally I only consider it while in non motion ;P.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Macbeth : Under health and safety regulations...

So yesterday I went to the theater to watch the Shakespeare's classic Macbeth. Nothing worth noting, besides my thoughts on the play. I think it is as expect a play for different times, and not so much for the language (it is funny how much you pick up living in the UK for 2 years) but more for the content. It is a good story told in the wrong way considering the last 300 years improvements on entertainment, plot and character depth. Something nice to check once, but way to long to check again. Some other Shakespeare plays work better even in today's time, but Macbeth is not one of them.
I am not doing a more detailed analysis on the play because there was drama at the theater, although Shakespeare has very little to do with it. Near the end of the play the lights went off, obviously the actors carried on acting. Suddenly a women in a very stressed manner starts talking and saying could you please evacuate the building as soon as possible. She had a very stress voice like something terribly wrong happen. The people started evacuating in a unusually fast manner, that is for English standards. People gathered outside, where at least one had a major panic attack. People wondering what was wrong, no information which seemed weird considering the stressed woman's evacuation order.
Finally the said for us to go back in, where they same woman said there was a blackout and that was the reason for the evacuation, ending her statement with "better safe than sorry".
Honestly I can't even begin to comment this, as such I leave it at your discretion to assume what I think of the whole think. But I can't resist saying "Oh no! No electricity? How can we survive?"...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

To the Facebook'ers...

Hello, so today the topic of the post is Facebook. For those few, if any, that aren't familiar with it, this is one of these social networks sites, that as all of them, has grown beyond its original intentions. But I am getting ahead of myself...
I've learn to live with this tool, after all in England you don't exist socially without Facebook, or so I hear... Before I go any further with this I want to emphasize that this tool has its benefits, and can be extremely useful, or I would not be using it. Namely the tagging of photos, organizing things, keeping in contact with friends of old, etc.
But how do you react to a poke? What the fuck is a poke anyway, it is like when people got mobile phones and just missed called people for no reason. I am bored, hmmm, what can I do, ahh I know, lets miss call someone. Why? What was the point, I am thinking of you while I am bored... Honestly some people. But moving on, this trend passed, and now poke is the new thing, I have nothing to say but I want to mess with you. Honestly if you poke me in real life I will probably punch you, so what can i do to a virtual poke? Poke back? Well I noticed this becomes a never ending cycle, so FUCK POKING. By the way it should be more like in MSN, a nudge, it sounds better,but never mind that.
I want to say why I am doing this post now, during the weekend someone told me it is not real until it is on Facebook... WHAT THE FUCK? Don't you think you are taking this Facebook too far, when a relationship is only official when it is on Facebook. Friends and family who cares, Facebook is the official record... Seriously people that act like this are scary, like truly scary...
I want to say for these people, THERE IS A LIFE BEYOND FACEBOOK, use it for its positives but please realize at the end of the day it is just a tool. Most of my closest friends don't have a Facebook account, so what?
Now for the final one, what the fuck is up with all of these applications, zombies, vampires, likeness test. Who gives a fuck? Seriously? And even if you do, well WHY BOTHER OTHERS WITH IT?
So to all you Facebook'ers, JUST CHILL, at the end of the day who gives a fuck? Use it, but wisely ;P check these out...

and the last the Facebook Anthem

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sweden post...

Sorry for the absence, was in Liverpool for the weekend and Sweden after that.
Just wanted to drop a quick line on Sweden, as a nordic country I always assume it has nothing much to see, well as usual on such matters, this prejudice is wrong.
The Romans had a saying about people from the north, that the land was so barbarian that it produce no civilized people. Well nothing could be farther from the truth.
Stockholm seems to be a great city, unfortunately I was too busy and had too little time but I will definitely go back there. Check it out...

It is a small post, but it is a post worth mentioning...

Friday, November 7, 2008

Take a look around...

Take a look around, perhaps you'll find more than I see lately. The simplicity of being is bound to contracts, without comparing things it is nearly impossible to determine what is to exist. I think therefore I am, doesn't quite cut it :P.
When you compare you enable yourself to see beyond what you feel, you force logic into the picture. The biggest problem in the world is always our own. Although rationally we might dismiss this statement, but the fact of the matter is we live by it, regardless if you think it to be true or not. What pains us most is what we can feel right now, this reminds me of the movie Major Payne, let me see if i find it...

Not the best find, but it is still funny, the part that I care about for this post is, if you have a head ache and want it to stop, simply break a finger, I bet the head ache will be the furthest thing from your mind ;P. This is a funny way of putting things, but the fact of the matter is when i am hungry, I don't think there are people that haven't ate for days in the world, I think its been a couple of hours since my last meal.
Now I got lost on what I wanted to say, LOL, great ;P.
The logical mind might tell us how great our life is, while the little aches of it prevent us from fully enjoying it. It is a stupid affliction of the human condition, we need problems. This reminds me of the matrix and yet I could find the transcripts of it but it is when Agent Smith reveals to Morpheus that there was another matrix that preceded the one currently in place. In the first matrix human life was perfect but it was rejected by man (according to Agent Smith) so the second matrix world included suffering. This is a lot like the Bible's record of Adam and Eve (the first man and woman created) who defied God and were then cast out of the perfect Garden of Eden and into a world of sin and pain.
The fact of the matter is, if thing are too perfect we do have a tendency to distrust them...
On the up side, when we do look around we can, even if it is just for a bit, we can see how things are, not binding ourselves to our own existence. When the good comes to bad, the bad comes to good, but im a live my life like i should (like i should).
Which brings me to the end of this post that concludes with life is a lesson, you'll learn it when you are through.

I can't resit giving emphasis to :

does anybody really know the secret
or the combination for this life
and where they keep it
its kinda sad when u dont know the meanin
but everything happens for a reason (everything happens for a reason)
i dont even know what i should say
cause im an idiot
a loser, microphone abuser
i analyze every second i exist
beatin on my mind every second with my fists
and everybody wanna run (wanna run)
everybody wanna hide from the gun (hide from the gun)
you can take a ride through this life if you want
but you cant take the edge off the knife (no sir)
and now you want your money back (money back)
but your denied cause your brains fried from the sack
and there aint nothin i can do
cause life is a lesson
you learn it when your through

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Remember, Remember...

...the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...

It seems a nice way to start the post of congratulations to all the US citizens for their new President Elect, I congratulate specially the American youth which demonstrated that age is not crucial for having political views, stands, etc.
It is always been something that trouble me, the fact that the younger generations do not care in masses, basically you find the one or two odd people that look into politics, that have passionate views and so on, but the masses stand clear of it. People do have an opinion, don't get me wrong, but they don't seem to bother enough about it. As such this turnout on the American election is even more impressive, I just hope it goes beyond the US.
Well the 5th is a good date for the post election, Guy Fawkes day here in the UK, bound fire day. What is this? Well people gather at night around a huge fire, and just hang around there and watch fireworks. It is simply a symbolic day, not even a bank holiday, the symbol? Well I leave you with a nice speech from V for Vendetta which is self explanatory...

I do think this 5th of November will not be forgot ;)...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


I was going to be a bit more descriptive on the title, but anything I combined with unease didn't quite cut it, thus I go for the feeling more at hand even though it says nothing (well I didn't call it towards nothing for nothing ;P).
This is quite a strange time in my life, but as usual I don't want to focus on the particular aspects of my life. I rather try to create abstractions that reflect my life which might be of better use for others.
The feeling of unease is a quite tricky feeling, you don't feel bad per say, but it prevents you from feeling good. This feeling triggers doubt in your mind, which cases you to question, which cases you to stop, which could be potentially destructive (the hesitation issue mentioned in a previous post).
Being unease might have a source, or it might be a generic feeling, you might be unease about something, for example work, but you might be generically unease due to your current circumstances, which at the end of the day might be just feeling unease about several things.
Unease cases you to think about things that you already consider, rethinking is a tricky business, if conclusions where there, they where there for a reason even if you can't see it clearly. Something you should consider before reconsidering.
I guess I am putting out guidelines for my own unease :P.
This feeling also cases you some insomnia, which reminds me I got a comment on my Insomniac post. Which actually fits perfectly with this topic of unease. The fact of the matter is one tends to be quite defensive in life, if we don't protected ourselves who will? The feeling of unease threatens our safety zone, our comfort zone, well it might just be that this zone has changed because you changed, but you just can't see it. The clairvoyance that time provides can not be rushed, thus we need to live life with questions that time will soon provide the answers for. Our fears are realized or not through time, time this concept that enables all existence, sometimes a foe sometimes a friend, you can rush time (Well theoretically you can but that is physics ;P) and at the end of the day would you want to?

Now the music in my mind not for what I feel, but the wider picture... and perhaps also for me... enjoy...

Monday, November 3, 2008


Hey dear readers, after the usual weekend break on posts (or at least usual nowadays ;P) I am back with a post I should have wrote on Saturday. I do have a lot to talk about but this was the first topic I had and it is the easiest to write about.
I had my first open water dive on Saturday, went until 12.5 meters which is quite nice. I am doing the dive course in England which probably isn't a brilliant idea considering the temperatures, but the 11 degrees of the water was quite OK considering outside it was 7 degrees ;P. Seriously it is fine, I had a semi-dry suite and it was fine, no need even for a dry suite. The break between dives is a bit of the hard part, but never mind that, lets talk about the dive.
Don't know if you read my post called "The dive", that is all still valid, but I have to add some stuff because this was an open water dive.
The danger of diving does sink in, I mean in a pool, you can dive without any equipment, but here well at 12 meters there is no way you don't feel the danger not doing things right. So you have an idea, you don't see the surface when you look up ;P. As the dive progresses you see fish, the simplicity of water life, the silence, some reeks, and suddenly you feel the peacefulness, feeling weightless, the cold water doesn't feel that cold, but rather feels like a natural contact with you body reminding you that you exist, that this is real, that you are real.
Anyway I am getting lost here, not a good sign for the rest of the day. What I want to say is, diving is a good way of relaxing, or better a awesome way to do so.
It is a sport, you do get very tired after doing it, but also very light, when you take the equipment out, take a hot shower, have some food because you'll be starving, and after a nice relaxed sleep...

Something at Stoney Cove where I went :

P.S.- If you are thinking I am crazy for doing this in the UK, well if I can dive here I can dive anywhere ;P

Friday, October 31, 2008

The internet...

Well today I am writing about this fabulous creation, this network of shared knowledge and resources. Some theorized that this tool improves the quality and efficiency of work. These people have no idea what they are talking about :P.
Communication wise the internet is provides a solid background for communication tools, such as skype, MSN, etc. These when used appropriatly give you easy and immediate access to people that might be abble to answer questions that you might have. For example a ex college that did something similar. The funny thing is, although this is true, it is only true under a solid social network, which as everybody knows takes time to build, and specially takes time to maintain. The fact of the matter is most communications are mainly social. Another example of this are emails, another great tool, but I want to pose a question how many social or social based (funny emails, facebook(ohh don't get me started on those :P), etc.) emails do you get a day? How about the work emails? Don't see this as an attack on the internet, I would not be able to work without it, the work mails are fundamental and as such not dismissible, but how much time do you lose on the other type?
And then there is the boredom, when you are bored with work, well you have a fun world in front of you, I mean the imagination is the limit you can find everything, online games, news, TV programs, blogs ;P, seriously there is no end, there is no end to the internet... Although a friend of mine told me once otherwise, but I think he meant that there weren't enough football news being released a minute.
Easy information, free information, shared knowledge, well all is great but how do we contain ourselves from abusing it? It is amazing the amount of work one does considering this temptation ;P.
Well I guess I let the porn slip on this post, that would deserve its own post, and to be fair nobody does it on the job, perhaps an email or so but you know how it goes ;P.
To end in a high note check what some think ;P

P.S. - I thought about give useful links for, let's say finding more of the internet ;P but well I don't want to spoiled you efficiency :P

Thursday, October 30, 2008


A short post, who doesn't relate to this at times?

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
or how the pressure was fed/but
I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head

It's like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face that watches everytime I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
The face inside is here in me/right underneath my skin

It's like I'm/paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a/whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I/can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all the mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can
But everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face that watches everytime they lie
A face that laughs everytime they fall
(And watches everything)
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too/right inside your skin

It's like I'm/paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a/whirlwind, inside of my head
It's like I/can't stop, what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath the skin

It's like I'm/paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a/whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I/can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

(The face inside is right beneath your skin)
(The face inside is right beneath your skin)
(The face inside is right beneath your skin)

The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me
The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me

(The sun)
It's like I'm/paranoid looking over my back
It's like a/whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I/can't stop what I'm hearing within
(I feel the light betray me)
It's like the face inside is right beneath your skin
(The sun)
It's like I'm/paranoid looking over my back
It's like a/whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I/can't stop what I'm hearing within
(I feel the light betray me)
It's like I/can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like I/can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The hesitation before action...

Today a more serious topic, it can't all about humor and parties.
Some say that hesitating is a sign of weakness, of lack of backbone, that if you hesitate you lose the boat. Well it is true that this might happen but then again you might find that you boarded the wrong boat (And next stop is nowhere ;P).
For some reason the word hesitation has a kind of bad connotation, don't get me wrong it is not bad, but it is one of those words you have difficulties using in a positive context.
The think is hesitation is part of most decision making processes, the need to second guess yourself to understand other scenarios and their own implications. From my perspective sometimes we can't hesitate, but that is more about gut feeling than it is about being a rational human being. I praise logic, but at the end of the day it can't justify a deadlock on your actions simply because of certain uncertainties (eheheh, putting those two words together is quite an achievement ;P).
Hesitation comes from the unknown, and since we can't know everything, it is present in most of our actions. But at the end of the day one should be pragmatic about it, you can't hesitate forever, and after all inaction is just another form of action.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Nottingham Nightlife : Student Monday...

All paths lead to Oceana, basically you can't go wrong, if you are not a student, well find a way to be one because this is the place to be on a Monday night. Honestly, it is simply party central.
If you are a curious researcher, as I am, it is also the place to be. Why? Well it is the perfect place to study the social dynamics of the English culture. One of the examples is the dress code, or should I say absence of one. But don't think this is bad and people go sloppy, actually it is the opposite most people, particular girls, simple dress to impress. The size of the skirts makes you question if they can be called skirts, or if they are simply slightly oversize belts. They go with dresses, with lingerie, with costumes, well pretty much they want to stand out, and they do :P. Well if you think the boys are different, well guess again...
Another interesting aspect for studying is the mating rituals (and here the word actually applies). There are two distinct periods in the night, the first is between ten and midnight, that is the girls on the prowl time. During this period the ratio between boys and girls is astonishing, at least, and really at the very least 5 girls to 1 boy. And if you think it is because the place is empty, well think again, it is packed... For a southern European, this is way to early to be in the club, but well worth it, because you don't hunt them, they hunt you ;P.
The second period starts around half midnight, where the ratio equalizes and at times slightly tilts, and i mean slightly. During this period the men have arrived and lost all their normal inhibitions due to the effect of alcohol in their systems. Thus they proceed with the amazing mating procedure, they go behind the girl, dance ever so slightly, put their hands on their waste, the girl looks back, if she says "no", the guy takes the hand off and moves to the next one, if she says nothing, well 5 minutes and their are making out ;P. Although this is a slight exaggeration, it is not a big one, the thing is not even with alcohol some of the guys can do it, but it is quite frequent to see it happening around you. Obviously for the purpose of doing research you might try it out to see if it works for you ;P. I could go on, talk about the Baywatch, but I think that deserves its own post ;P. Just trust me, if you can simply go there ;).
Last piece of advice, do not, I repeat, do NOT talk much in a club to a girl (in England), or when you blink they are already gone ;P.

A song that makes them while, at least at the moment... ;P

... guaranteed fun ;)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Chinese and Pigeons...

Chinese and Pigeons what do these have in common, well this one I heard last Friday and I just had to share :P. Please keep in mind this is a joke so don't get emotional about this ;P.
So apparently, or at least according to someone's views, Chinese are just like Pigeons, they are in every big city, they multiply more than the average, etc.
Honestly I heard a lot of jokes about Chinese, but on Friday this just made me laugh a lot more than usual ;P.
Here is something to complete the post, more jokes enjoy ;P:

Friday, October 24, 2008

The Fisherman...

Well there we go a post on fisherman again, actually I don't recall if I mentioned it before but I think I did. What I didn't know is that this is a quite common illness for all PhD students, not the day dreaming of becoming a fisherman but the dreaming to do something simpler, the wishing for a simpler life. The thing is I don't think that the problems that I am solving are that complex, but the fact that I have to solve them in a formal and descriptive way, well it just tires me out even before I started doing it. The knowledge that it is not as simple as it appears to be, and that I will find problems in the details, just puts me off of it. It is like if I don't start the problems don't really exist because on generic terms I know what needs to be done. On the other hand the feeling of being useless sets in, and thus the need to dream about practical work one could do, something that you would see the results, and without any hidden problems (this might be a exaggeration, there are always hidden problems, then again that might be my PhD side of the brain talking ;P).
For me it is to be a fisherman, I guess partly for my cultural history, which also entails my love for the ocean. The fact that I am in Nottingham doesn't help due to the absence of the ocean. All in all a hut by the sea sounds like a good plan today, and most days of a PhD life. A friend from Thailand knowing about this sent me this:

Seams lonesome, but nice... And simple...

All of this reminded me of a great song enjoy...

I’m all at sea
Where no one can bother me
Forgot my roots
If only for a day
Just me and my thoughts
Sailing far away

Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to, all at sea

I’m all at sea
Where no-one can bother me
I sleep by myself
I drink on my own
I don’t speak to nobody
I gave away my phone

Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to, all at sea

Now I need you more than ever
I need you more than ever now

If you don’t need it every day
But sometimes don’t you just crave
To disappear within your mind
You never know what you might find
So come and spend some time with me
And we will spend it all at sea

Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to, all at sea

If you want to, all at sea
If you want to

Simply great...

Thursday, October 23, 2008


So today's topic is yet again related to the British culture. The word "mate" is one of those words that the Brits just love to use (much like cheers, but that is another story that does disturb me, but in a different way :P). Some background knowledge first.
When I first came to England, not as a tourist(in that capacity things are not so clear to you), I notice that people kept calling me "mate", like "thanks mate" or "cheers mate". This was a bit odd for me, because I always associated the word mate, to the mating, which is clearly not what they were intending it as, or at least one hopes it was not ;P. So this obviously required me to do some digging on the meaning of the word, and a simple Google search provides you with 22 definitions for it. 22 come on, I know they try to simplify the language but this just drains all meaning from the word, after all you can mean whatever. Check it out:

1. husband or wife; spouse.
2. one member of a pair of mated animals.
3. one of a pair: I can't find the mate to this glove.
4. a counterpart.
5. an associate; fellow worker; comrade; partner (often used in combination): classmate; roommate.
6. friend; buddy; pal (often used as an informal term of address): Let me give you a hand with that, mate.
7. Nautical.
a. first mate.
b. any of a number of officers of varying degrees of rank subordinate to the master of a merchant ship.
c. an assistant to a warrant officer or other functionary on a ship.
8. an aide or helper, as to an artisan; factotum.
9. a gear, rack, or worm engaging with another gear or worm.
10. Archaic. an equal in reputation; peer; match.
–verb (used with object)
11. to join as a mate or as mates.
12. to bring (animals) together for breeding purposes.
13. to match or marry.
14. to join, fit, or associate suitably: to mate thought with daring action.
15. to connect or link: a telephone system mated to a computerized information service.
16. to treat as comparable.
–verb (used without object)
17. to associate as a mate or as mates.
18. (of animals) to copulate.
19. (of animals) to pair for the purpose of breeding.
20. to marry.
21. (of a gear, rack, or worm) to engage with another gear or worm; mesh.
22. Archaic. to consort; keep company.

OK, it is not that bad considering the meaning are related, the reality is probably the Brits use it because they were a big naval nation thus a lot of sailors. On the other hand the other interpretation of the word might be an indication on what they did in the ships. I mean think about it, no girls, months at sea, you do the maths ;P.
The funny thing is they don't find it weird at all, this words double meaning is completely ignored, which is quite strange considering the Brits usual sarcasm.
Well anyway, just a thought that occurred to me once, and today the bus driver did said "cheers mate", so guess why I am sharing ;P.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The weather (don't be hasty about the topic just read it :P)

The absence of what to write about is always tricky to handle. Don't have anything to say? LOL, of course I do, we are talking about me ;). The thing is I don't see a subject that stands up for me to write about, ohh well.
The weather would be a good topic I am in England, and no it is not to talk about the weather although it is fucking cold. The thing is here it is common to discuss the weather, which simply sounds like people have nothing else to talk about. At least this is what I thought before living here, I mean English are a bit distant thus you'd assume that the topics of conversation are trivial and uninteresting like the weather.
The thing is if you live in a country with the most random weather, mostly bad weather, where to be sunny means to be cold, well the topic has a certain interest. This is particularly true when you have good news about it, like this weekend not rain, for the brits this means barbecue time, well not now, it is too cold for it. Well at least I think not even they would do barbecues with this weather. Then again you never know, yesterday went to see a football game, Nottingham Forrest Vs Ipswich Town, it was freezing, like really freezing, and there where some dudes in shorts and flip flops. The British coat is something I will never understand, after all other people also drink alcohol, and yet they are more, well lets say normal in the global reality ;P.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The second day...

The day after some say is the most important day, for great events, for change, new cycles, even in romances. I mean the first kiss is easy, the awkward part comes the second time you meet, of course you don't talk about it, you have been close to this person but should you assume things? Well you get the picture.
Strangely enough, or not, my work volume was reduced, like I said in the days of change it is complicated to actually do things, that comes on the next days ;P (also a nice excuse, you don't have to thank me ;P).
Nevertheless work seen a bit trivial, and considering I am doing a PhD this is a harsh statement :P. The thing is I obviously had to consider many things after reacting, see one thing you always should do is react, even if it is a choice not to react, but you should first take care of the matter at hand. Once this is done you are free to proceed to see the winder picture and the effects of recent events on it. It is like first you take care of the pain that is present, and then you proceed to prevent future pains. Bare in mind this is simply an analogy.
What troubles me is not events, but my view over them, namely how this view is affected by my current state of events. This is a bit of a problem because I like to think of myself as a constant (not that it is possible to be one ;P), or at least a logical variable. Thus I try to keep circumstances from affecting my core, and although this core is not affect, it is demonstrated how I let at other times circumstances dictate certain things on the outskirts of my world. Sounds harmless I know, but if you have the en sight to see further into the small decisions, well the butterfly effect is there for a reason. For those who aren't familiar with this, basically it states that the clapping of the butterfly wings can case a hurricane on the other side of the world. So basically how the small things can be key to enable big events, thus providing the unpredictability of all things. Now that the background knowledge is set, I must say that I know this to be true, but I also am one of those who tries to predict and model things. Obviously this is done in within limits and not in detail. Anyway back to the point, I could see things evolving in a certain fashion and at the time I choose the puristic approach. What does this mean, well it means I used the approach if things are to work, well they should work without interference. A time of my life that I thought playing good made things less valuable, in a way I still do but that is content for another post.
People don't change? Well I think people do change, not at core, at least most of the times, but they evolve and to evolve you need to change. For better or worst is only in the eye of the beholder. Thus things are as they are, but doesn't mean they can't evolve and therefore change.
Well I think it is enough for a second day post, from Nottingham to the world "Hello World : day two " ;P

Monday, October 20, 2008

A new cycle...

Hello world!! A very common sentence in computer science, it is the statement that new pieces of code might say to show that they are present :P. Today I was planing a small update of the blog and pretty much that was my intent for the day. Obviously posting something was also part of this intent. I am entering a new cycle at work since the project I was involved in had its last general assembly last week. So what does that mean? Well it means I only have minor obligations on it from now until the official finish. So good news for my PhD, because it was really falling behind.
This also means that my work load will be more targeted to my personal work which gives me less of an excuse not to write in the blog. I know that I could have wrote much more than I did lately, regardless of the attenuating circumstances but that is behind now, I do need a new cycle all around (And circumstances aligned to provide just that, see why I say I am generally lucky :P).
Before I go any further I want to do a quick update on my trip to Switzerland. So first I need to set my state of mind which was shit work wise, honestly I was feeling a bit fed up of the whole research scene, plus feeling completely out of place, I mean is my work that important? Surely not... But I was going to present it in a meeting for all the partners plus the project evaluator, bare in mind that is the work I did in the project not the work for my PhD (Although it is related). I was feeling like I do at times, why not just quit and become something simple like a fishermen? Specially in a nice place like tropical island, or Thailand, wouldn't that be nice? A hut by the beach in a simple life without technology...
So this was the background before the meeting, as someone put it yesterday, as a responsible person I went to the meeting. It is not that I am that responsible, but if I assume a commitment, well it takes a lot for me to break it (I am just putting the possibility just not to seem too arrogant, in fact I don't break it :P).
The meeting was good for more than one reason, firstly the things I presented where very well accepted, secondly the questions and comments actually validated my PhD work. So all in all it was great for the meeting, and as the cherry on top of the cake (for those who like cherries :P) the last day there was a special session with an expert on Agent Technology (Which I am using in my PhD) that had dinner in my table so we got to discuss a few things which gave me a new bust PhD wise. So all in all a very positive meeting in Switzerland, except the place is really dull, I mean really really dull :P.
So I got back and took a day out to see if got well from my cold, right forgot to mention that I had a cold during the days going into the meeting and during the meeting a huge cough as well.
A day of vegetation, plus the weekend, well I am ready for a new start. Got to the office, and got a surprise, but before that just a quick note to Joao I want to go back so if you want help just let me know ;).
The big surprise, well I got add on MSN by an old friend, friend might be a strong word, although I still think of him as a friend but following his rules on the matter not my own, well that is a bit unfair, lets say I follow what is more convenient case by case. The fact is we are not friends, which is one of those things that you don't really like to realize but it is the blunt truth. This was my best friend, thus this makes it a harsh realization.
A little background knowledge is probably required, without going into much detail the problem was and is a girl. LOL, it is funny, he once told me "girls ruin everything", well I never said he didn't have got insight.
Anyway, the thing is we haven spoken in years, like over 3 years, and today he added me to MSN selectively. What does selectively mean? Well it means he didn't do it to all of his contacts from his previous account. This puts me in a awkward position since it breaks the precedent of contact. Right another background into this, I don't close communication bridges, so people can always reach me, but I am a very proud person and as such I do not initiate contact when there is a precedent of me trying to reach out and getting nothing in return. That is simply how it is, I mean i haven't spoken with my dad in over 10 years, that should tell you something...
So the thing with this is, well the precedent is broken considering it was a selective thing (how do I know this, well I have ways ;P).
That leaves me with two options, a proactive response or a reactive response. Obviously I accepted the invitation, but that is simply allowing for the communication Chanel to exist, the use of it is another matter. I could now expose all that I am considering for his reasons, he is a person that would consider such thing in detail, so... The thing is one wants to hope for the best, maybe he is reaching out, but reason tells me that this is such a delicate matter that it will depend so much on the next steps.
The thing is reactive would be just to wait and see, perhaps the communication Chanel will decay again (I have a theory on this, the more a communication Chanel is not used, the more likely it is that it will never be used). The thing is this is the most likely event because in his mind this might be as far as he will go to reach out, the question is what do I feel about it? This is what one of my friends just asked me, you are positively surprised or not? Well I don't know, it is a bit unexpected, I had come to terms to how things where, not that I like them, simply accepted that some things in life are not good. So I have to say positively surprised, but, and there is always a but, this is quite complicated waters, taking this matter on will have huge impacts all around from what i can foresee, and yet I wonder... Well it is obvious that I will react to this, he knows this, but I am simply building the argument towards doing so. There is no precedent, thus no excuse, proactive is the only option, I am curious about it and as a curious person I intend to test the waters. How? Well this post is a way to start it is called a new cycle for different reasons, but perhaps other things have aligned toward a more complete new cycle. I'll keep you posted (Or perhaps there will be a comment on the matter)...

Friday, October 3, 2008

In My Place

Well I am back in the UK, but that is not the reason for this title. I found this song on my last trip to Portugal, and honestly I think it should be shared, it is strangely catchy. One of the youtube make artists, thus I make it a bigger point to promote it.
On a more personal note, I am back to my place, not that I wasn't in my place, but for now it is clear here is where I should be. Don't want to make a big post, just wanted to drop a line, my trip was fine and served its purpose and now, well ... In My Place...

Don't run away,
if you know that
you've got what it takes.
Don't shy away.
Sleep now,
dream here.
And hopefully the night
will release your fear.

There will be tears to shed again.
Time to begin, and time to end.
Baby, and you say I'll be sad,
but that depends.

Baby now,
come on recognize me,
I know that you know my face.
Weren't you the one who told me once you would be there?
And everytime I try to walk away,
you keep me in my place.
I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.
Yeah, I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.


Think your chance.
Cause life will grant you one
and that's your last.
Baby, don't think too fast.
No, no.
Cause you can't have mine,
cause all I do is move you 'round in time.

Baby, there will be nights to sleep alone.
Time to fight, and time to grow.
Baby, and you say I'll be sad,
but you don't know.


Baby now,
come on recognize me,
I know that you know my face.
Weren't you the one who told me once you would be there?
And everytime I try to walk away,
you keep me in my place.
I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.
Yeah, I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.
Baby, I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.
(Baby, I'm much too scared.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So come on recognize me,
I know that you know my face.
Weren't you the one who told me once you would be there?
And everytime I try to walk away,
you keep me in my place.
I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.
Yeah, I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.
Baby now, I try to break away but I'm much too much too scared.

Move you 'round in time.
Move you 'round in time.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Perhaps a miss use of this word, but I start with it and probably finish with it. I am feeling a strange unease, something disturbing me in my mind, yet it feels like a faint whisper that I can't really understand, like something I should clearly be able to see and yet eludes me in a concrete fashion. This sort of feeling is quite disturbing, so it is not that I can't sleep, I guess if I lay in my bed long enough I would sleep and once I am asleep, well I would only wake up either for a reason or because I have rested enough. Perhaps this is what I should do, and yet I thought of writing a bit, well this is not really true since I first read some posts of a blog very close to my heart. Nevertheless I am writing because it makes sense to try and make sense of my unease, normally at times like this I would dig and dissect all things in my head, all possibilities, probably would find some new solutions for some of the problems I have (although these might simply be interferences in other worlds, which I am trying to avoid in general). It is like I don't want to go to sleep because I have something to do, the only problem is I don't know what it is. This is rather pointless because I end up losing time, eventually giving up and going to sleep, but because I have things to do the next day, well I end up being tired for the whole day and yet when the time to go to bed comes again, well the cycle starts again.
BAhh, this is a quite frustrating feeling, not sure if I should just skip the sleep, read a bit perhaps, maybe see all the TV series I have in my queue, because honestly I don't see what I need to do, or what I could do at a time like this. The actions that could appease this are out of reach, and they would only comfort me thus the enigma of it all would still exist.
I am at times a troubled soul, and yet I don't see it now, but I feel a bit weird about it. Sounds idiotic I know but sometime we need to state things beyond logic to perhaps feel more human, more than simple logic, more than simple self. Perhaps it is just complicating the simple, perhaps this is just another ranting of a "very simple person in a very complex way" (one of my best quotes ever, truly awesome).
The Portugal trip is almost over, it seems more and more like my influence over the worlds here is rather reduced, not sure how this affects me, but I did intend for this in a way anyway. But I don't want to go there.
The right and wrong of things, the haziness of all the shades of grey is simply too clear to ignore. Honestly I feel lost in actions at times, knowing some things for sure doesn't help much, the devil is in the detail, there are so many ways to achieve our goals...
I am sure I want to be in Nottingham right now, but not really sure if for the same reasons that I wanted to be there before, perhaps it is this. I am not sure if you notice I am actually dissecting possibilities, which is not the point :P, sorry my mind is tricky to control, as such I'll force it to shut down, Goodnight you all...

Monday, September 29, 2008

This is the life...

Hello, so apparently today I am writing a real post, or a post worthy of the resolution that I set out to do. So as you know I am in Portugal, which is a weird felling of belonging yet seeing the distance. I actually would like to come back here and start something quite interesting, I mean these are my roots, where I can clearly see I can make a huge influence in other people's world, my relevance is huge and yet I am like a visitor of these worlds. This is the best definition, I visit these worlds, check on them, but I have the feeling of being simply a monitor agent that interferes upon needs and needs only. This is not a bad thing, like I said before I am focusing on my own world, but it is giving away a prominent position in very relevant worlds. Signs of time I guess, but there is always a feeling of nostalgia attached to these realisations. The best one can do is to leave the worlds as orderly as possible, and do check on them, they didn't lose their importance, simply things change, regardless of all efforts one might apply not to.
I guess I am not making much sense, started about roots here and now talking about the worlds where I am relevant. The question is Nottingham is my life now, but I can see myself here, it goes hand in hand with the relevance of doing a PhD. My life could work here, with the addition of a plus one, and I can see that which makes me quite comfortable about my country and my future in it, perhaps my two year plan abroad after the PhD might be changed (abroad meaning outside of EU).
This song provided me a nice title, while giving a nice beat for this post, and for the randomness and predictability of life, life is in fact a journey, like the song I heard today in my car from old CDs said "I know I was born and I know that I'll die, the in between is mine, I AM MINE". But this one is well different beat, questioning things with a happier beat, this is how I wish to proceed, aware of my past, living my present(while enjoying it) but still questioning my future... But in a happy beat ;)...

Oh the wind whistles down
The cold dark street tonight
And the people they were dancing to the music vibe
And the boys chase the girls with the curls in their hair
While the shy tormented youth sit way over there
And the songs they get louder
Each one better than before

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

So your heading down the road in your taxi for four
And you're waiting outside Jimmy's front door
But nobody's in and nobody's home 'til four
So you're sitting there with nothing to do
Talking about Robert Riger and his motley crew
And where you're gonna go and where you're gonna sleep tonight

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

Where you gonna sleep tonight?

P.S.- Sorry for the post, looking at it, well it is widely off of its intend, well this is life ;)