Hello world!! A very common sentence in computer science, it is the statement that new pieces of code might say to show that they are present :P. Today I was planing a small update of the blog and pretty much that was my intent for the day. Obviously posting something was also part of this intent. I am entering a new cycle at work since the project I was involved in had its last general assembly last week. So what does that mean? Well it means I only have minor obligations on it from now until the official finish. So good news for my PhD, because it was really falling behind.
This also means that my work load will be more targeted to my personal work which gives me less of an excuse not to write in the blog. I know that I could have wrote much more than I did lately, regardless of the attenuating circumstances but that is behind now, I do need a new cycle all around (And circumstances aligned to provide just that, see why I say I am generally lucky :P).
Before I go any further I want to do a quick update on my trip to Switzerland. So first I need to set my state of mind which was shit work wise, honestly I was feeling a bit fed up of the whole research scene, plus feeling completely out of place, I mean is my work that important? Surely not... But I was going to present it in a meeting for all the partners plus the project evaluator, bare in mind that is the work I did in the project not the work for my PhD (Although it is related). I was feeling like I do at times, why not just quit and become something simple like a fishermen? Specially in a nice place like tropical island, or Thailand, wouldn't that be nice? A hut by the beach in a simple life without technology...
So this was the background before the meeting, as someone put it yesterday, as a responsible person I went to the meeting. It is not that I am that responsible, but if I assume a commitment, well it takes a lot for me to break it (I am just putting the possibility just not to seem too arrogant, in fact I don't break it :P).
The meeting was good for more than one reason, firstly the things I presented where very well accepted, secondly the questions and comments actually validated my PhD work. So all in all it was great for the meeting, and as the cherry on top of the cake (for those who like cherries :P) the last day there was a special session with an expert on Agent Technology (Which I am using in my PhD) that had dinner in my table so we got to discuss a few things which gave me a new bust PhD wise. So all in all a very positive meeting in Switzerland, except the place is really dull, I mean really really dull :P.
So I got back and took a day out to see if got well from my cold, right forgot to mention that I had a cold during the days going into the meeting and during the meeting a huge cough as well.
A day of vegetation, plus the weekend, well I am ready for a new start. Got to the office, and got a surprise, but before that just a quick note to Joao I want to go back so if you want help just let me know ;).
The big surprise, well I got add on MSN by an old friend, friend might be a strong word, although I still think of him as a friend but following his rules on the matter not my own, well that is a bit unfair, lets say I follow what is more convenient case by case. The fact is we are not friends, which is one of those things that you don't really like to realize but it is the blunt truth. This was my best friend, thus this makes it a harsh realization.
A little background knowledge is probably required, without going into much detail the problem was and is a girl. LOL, it is funny, he once told me "girls ruin everything", well I never said he didn't have got insight.
Anyway, the thing is we haven spoken in years, like over 3 years, and today he added me to MSN selectively. What does selectively mean? Well it means he didn't do it to all of his contacts from his previous account. This puts me in a awkward position since it breaks the precedent of contact. Right another background into this, I don't close communication bridges, so people can always reach me, but I am a very proud person and as such I do not initiate contact when there is a precedent of me trying to reach out and getting nothing in return. That is simply how it is, I mean i haven't spoken with my dad in over 10 years, that should tell you something...
So the thing with this is, well the precedent is broken considering it was a selective thing (how do I know this, well I have ways ;P).
That leaves me with two options, a proactive response or a reactive response. Obviously I accepted the invitation, but that is simply allowing for the communication Chanel to exist, the use of it is another matter. I could now expose all that I am considering for his reasons, he is a person that would consider such thing in detail, so... The thing is one wants to hope for the best, maybe he is reaching out, but reason tells me that this is such a delicate matter that it will depend so much on the next steps.
The thing is reactive would be just to wait and see, perhaps the communication Chanel will decay again (I have a theory on this, the more a communication Chanel is not used, the more likely it is that it will never be used). The thing is this is the most likely event because in his mind this might be as far as he will go to reach out, the question is what do I feel about it? This is what one of my friends just asked me, you are positively surprised or not? Well I don't know, it is a bit unexpected, I had come to terms to how things where, not that I like them, simply accepted that some things in life are not good. So I have to say positively surprised, but, and there is always a but, this is quite complicated waters, taking this matter on will have huge impacts all around from what i can foresee, and yet I wonder... Well it is obvious that I will react to this, he knows this, but I am simply building the argument towards doing so. There is no precedent, thus no excuse, proactive is the only option, I am curious about it and as a curious person I intend to test the waters. How? Well this post is a way to start it is called a new cycle for different reasons, but perhaps other things have aligned toward a more complete new cycle. I'll keep you posted (Or perhaps there will be a comment on the matter)...