Thursday, January 3, 2008

the dentist

So here I am again on the follow up day, the real New Year, as I call it, since the New Year only starts on the second day after all the celebrations. At least for most.
Anyway one thing about me I should point out is the ability to stall, I haven't said anything yet and I already have loads of words, but you will get that over time...
So today’s lesson, or thought, or bullshit, you can choose the most appropriate for yourself.
The dentist, today I went to the dentist and realized something interesting, what does one think while sitting for half an hour in that chair, I had this thought while in the car, so I figured I could tailor my thought toward that moment. I couldn't have been more wrong, I did try to think about other things but my mind keep bringing me back to "what the fuck is he doing?" or "I know this is necessary but I fucking hate it" or even "when will it hurt". This expectation for pain is curious, even when it doesn't hurt one always expects it, like the dentist triggers in us our more basic reactions (This will be interesting when I speak about Who moved my cheese). Regardless of that I did thing about other things, it is funny how you can control your basic self once you are aware of it.
Now towards today’s point, today I did less that expected from my resolutions, and I found myself wondering why, maybe I think to much about it :P could be an answer, regardless I did go further. I think when you wake from a numb state there is a period that you know that you are numb, you are fully aware of yourself your situation and yet you can't move yet, and you try, and it doesn't work, but once you relax it comes back to you. This is something I think can be extrapolated to life, when you decide to move there is a moment of realization that you see it in your head before you can actually achieve it. I don't mean this as an excuse, so I am giving myself a hard time about it, I do think one should move as soon as possible after realizing that one must... and this one will... (I did do things just not as much as I intend :P)

Keeping it real or at least I hope I am :)

No comments: