Hey again, another day another story, or stories. So a shocker for everyone, it is possible to move even in fear, and the usual bullshit people say is that is simpler that it looks, you just need to start, well while I might agree with this in general, the so called "start" is not just a push, it takes more than that, inertia is a two edge sword. The start is hard, the momentum that that brings is quite scary, and the fact that you are scare without a safety net is quite a motivation to turn back, to the previous comfort zone. Although that ain't gonna happen it did cross my mind, the appeal for some cheese, even if its old does sound appealing, BUT, or better yet not but, I want it all ;P.
Once you start moving the ball, even without control, at least you have a sense of movement, which is a world of potential opening in front of you, quoting or semi quoting the cheese book, " when you face your fear, you feel free". I don't really agree with this one, but I do think you feel relived, not to mention the selfish reasons of knowing you did the right thing, you where courageous, and you feel it is not up to you anymore, like you did your thing.
(Which is not quite true, but you feel so for a while ;))
The right thing, weird concept, sometimes I feel we always know what it is, yet we find ways to divert us from doing it, quite weird really... But not today’s point.
Regardless, bullshit aside, face your fears and validate that you did it, make it a point not to leave loose ends, and possible ghosts around to haunt you in your "what ifs". This is something one might tend to overlook, after all you did so much by just facing your fear, only fiting you get some rest about all of it... WRONG, things will come back to bit you in the ass, think about it, how many things come back to your thoughts under the form of the sentence "what if?".
Now for the positive note, going out with old friends and reminiscing about the past, laugh about yourself, and other, that is quite priceless, simple moments of pure joy, with no rules, and labels, and etiquette, right or wrong, just talking bullshit and laughing. Simple things make you move on, being in the past, present or future, your sense of humor, your ability to laugh about yourself.
NEVER BECOME TO SERIOUS, I really feel this, growing up is fine, becoming serious is shit, keep a notion of who you are, and allow yourself to laugh about it, past, present and future.
Life is a series of simple things, you just need to find the humor in them... or not, I know, but today I want to put it like this, in all its cheesiness ;P.
Last note, I am fucking destroyed today, I wanted to say more, and more coherently, so I am sorry but I am keeping this alive, so I deserve a small tap on my shoulder for the effort ;)