10 000

So after a somewhat long absence a post and funny enough it is going to state that I'll be absent for a longer period, holiday time :D. Funny I used to say vacation, who says that the place where we live doesn't affect our speech? :P Hopefully no one...
10 000 days of existence, how geeky of me I know, but I did state in a previous post that I would keep track of the main milestones of the day count for my life. It is quite funny that it hit this time in my life, where I've been absent from the blogsphere (such cool term :P), not for the fact of being absent but for the reasons of such absence. Another thing I am realising just now, it has been 7 months since I started this blog and fuck how things are different. The funny thing is that I can trace it back, I must admit that the major things are quite masked in borrowed words, but it is all here, or most of it, recent events have been less present, not just due to lack of time I must admit, but also due to the quote "something is not real until it has been said or written". I know this quote is utter rubbish, but it is quite convenient to follow :P.
Well some things don't change, and the 10 000 days of experience help, my ability to talk without saying much, my ability to bend realities, my ability to logically change my own reason, this is not a typo, the way we reason can be changed to suite the current realities, men how much bullshit can I say :P.
Anyway I am not in that state of mind, I am in a quite cool place, giving the world a real chance, while the world gives me the same, this actually reminds me of a post I never wrote but I should, I'll mention it now and perhaps follow up on it. My world is a world of worlds, where the existing world is a mere combination of other disperse worlds, this makes it quite original, complex and unique, but not really belonging to anyone. I am a good beacon for worlds, great worlds, thus the quality of the illusion of my world. But this is for another post, just a mere brain dump of something that you might like to consider or not :P.
The holiday, need to mention this :P, going to a Greek island called Milos and hopefully other islands around it, just Google it, and picture me there :P, I'll post some pictures upon my return ;). This year I decided not to go to Portugal so that I could actually rest, going home is obviously awesome, I'll be going in September, but I need a place simply to have a holiday, no cares besides that. Which reminds me, next year I will try to schedule something with all my friends, even if it is something like a weekend, I think it would be awesome so start considering it ;). Which reminds me, anybody for skiing in February?
Now for me, well work has been good, after my viva, things have been smooth, I can still program, I thing I can even do it better than before, it is weird, I have more clarity for it, not that I am complaining :P.
Personally and that is what people expect more, not sure how to approach this one, I would like to provide some, how shall I put it, divine slaps to a few people, although that seems quite petty and I don't feel petty thus I'll leave them with all of their delusions and self centred worlds. Me I feel good, it has been a while, weird for a person that thinks and knows (:P) himself to be awesome? Well, yes arrogance doesn't come with a feel good patch, it comes from clarity of thought about oneself. I am seeing things quite clear, have a small problem with one of my friends which I'll find a way to make up for, but besides that all is quite good, even my new hair cut (from today) is quite refreshing, although not that great, apparently some people like my hair big ;P.
Funny just had a flash about some people from my past, not related to anything, but here goes my cheer to these guys that are more or less present in my world due to life circumstances, Laffer: Mister you can do anything if you put your mind to it, it is a cliché but you are one of those with the right potential to. Marta: The cool engineer, glad to call you a colleague. Marco: Dude I know you'll never see this, but your original theory is true, it is a shame that it is. Anyway, these people where in my flash, a weird one, moving on...
I just got a call that pretty much took my concentration to write much more...
All in all 10 000 days of a brilliant guy's life, with ups and downs, but with the certainty of great world, with great other worlds that provide great expectations for the next 10 000, for all of you who touched my life in one way or another, my sincere thanks, you did so much more than you can ever imagine, more than I can ever say, cheers to you...

No availability...

I apologise but no post today and probably for the next couple of days.

Milk...

Well, today as in the last couple of days don't have the writing gene on, except to say that I should talk about trivial things while this non writing mood is on. Anyway, I want to put my strong objection to the Portuguese language agreement that is suppose to uniform the language all across the world. Honestly, sometimes I can't believe the idiocies of certain people, and we have to put up with this? Well I wont, I'll buy a Portuguese Dictionary as soon as I get to Portugal, a good one, so that the words will remain. I REFUSE TO SAY "FATO" FOR "FACTO", so I wont write it as such, idiots really.
Milk, well besides awesome, I am in this chill out mood, brilliant lyric, thus I should say more, the song is about the strongest among you and the weakest...

Dice...

Hello, well sorry for the absence but my time was demanded by a member of nobility ;P (Private joke), anyway I am sorry I haven't wrote anything for a couple of days, and the previous days I didn't really wrote anything. I just have been with a lot on my mind that I don't quite know how to put into words, like the other guy said "words are meaningless", and yet for me words bring things to reality. Very tricky, but again today I wont talk much about any of this, need to consult with my advisers (you know who you are :P) before I can formulate some sort of post on it.
There is a Portuguese restaurant in Nottingham, yesterday went there, I drank a Compal maça, you have no idea how good that was :P.
Anyway don't want to be in the computer thus a nice song for all of you, dice, you play them and you never know what you might get, a great day hopefully ;)...

Feeling Good...

You decide, which you like most...

Classic Nina...


More modern look...


Awesome...

Small detours... (Dakota)

Well a small post for today about the small detours in life, I know a huge topic, but I don't want to actually discuss it, I simply want to state how the smallest detour can have the biggest impact in our path, the slidding doors effect all over again. The thing is the small detours can also provides us with the little things that endure in memories of life...
This song is one of the songs from the past that is, well I just wanted to share and "I don’t know where we are going now..."

Feeling the moment...

I start this post without having a title, nor an idea of what to write, I do know the topic will contain the name of the song I'll include in the end, yet I am determining which one I'll add. LOL just noticed I am stalling, this is an interesting concept stalling the writing process I force myself to have :P. But Honestly there are two songs I am considering to put, both great but I don't want to waste both in one post even though they have similar topics, or at least in my head of today they do. All of this is irrelevant, the thing is I am having some troubles opening up to this computer screen, it is one of those things that is always there but sometimes is quite strong. The good part is that I don't talk too much about myself when I am in this state, but I do talk a lot :P.
So much too say, no way to say it, OK, I should at least try...
I am in what I call decision period, this is where and when I make big decisions, yes I normally don't make decisions, the day to day ones are simple implications of previous decisions, this makes the dealing process quite easy and straightforward on a day to day bases, and complicated on decision periods. To my defense these periods are not frequent, thus this is a quite brilliant approach, I know I am a freak but what can I do? :P
Back to decisions, I hate actually making them, not because it is hard to decide, but because it is hard to close doors. In day to day decision making there is a lot of juggling which enables a lot of options, these options need to be allowed by the previous decisions but that is normally not a big problem ;). In the decision period one of the major questions is what things to decide on, I know this sounds naive but I always have the expectation of being surprised, meaning even the things I already know the outcome I give them a chance before making decisions, thus this limbo period is nice, but it is also a bit selfish, since it is centred on me. Anyway this is the thing I have some decisions to make, nothing major, but this makes me consider other things to decide upon, like a package deal :P like I said I don't like these periods anyway, so I tend to minimize them :P.
I am going for the song now :P I choose this one Feeling the moment, this is rhetorical question song, and as many rhetorical questions I would like the answer to it :P

Maybe tomorrow...

Today I heard this song in the background while having my afternoon coffee and I thought I really like this song, but not really realising the song itself, the mere sound made me think this.
I thought at that moment I would put this song on my blog, what I didn't realise was that it would make so much sense at the end of the day. Well my words fall short at times, but borrowed words stand to the challenge of producing reasons beyond reason. Enjoy...

I've been down and
I'm wondering why
These little black clouds
Keep walking around
With me
With me

It wastes time
And I'd rather be high
Think I'll walk me outside
And buy a rainbow smile
But be free
They're all free

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

I look around at a beautiful life
Been the upperside of down
Been the inside of out
But we breathe
We breathe

I wanna breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean
Wanna take my time for me
All me

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home
So maybe tomorrow
I'll find my way home

I'm ready...

A long overdue tribute... Enjoy...

MPhil Stage

So today I had my official progress examination, basically the university's way of checking I am in the right track for my PhD. It was fairly smooth, no major issues, some questions as expected which I was able to quickly answer, so all in all like the Professor that did the examination said, "seems useful". LOL, that was his final remark which I know is positive, but seriously sounded a bit patronizing. He is the Professor so he should know better, or at least one can hope he does :P.
All in all a good day, I can get an MPhil on this stage, so my work is valued at this level, but wait don't congratulate me since it is something perfectly normal in a PhD :P
So now, next stage, some work before the holidays and after back on the PhD research horse ;)

Passive Aggressive

My song for key moments...

Return to innocence

Poets provide us with the picture for the human soul...
The sound of poetry goes beyond mere words...
Enjoy this symbiosis of sound and words, simply perfect...



Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence

That's return to innocence

Sliding Doors (Turn back Time)

Hello dear readers, today is one of these days that I have so many thoughts I wish to talk about that I'll probably end up not talking about any. And in this indecision one of the topics provided a title, thus it is the chosen one.
The concept of sliding doors made famous by the movie of the same title. Others might know variants of this such as when one door closes another one opens, this old wisdom from our ancestors, sometimes they knew what they where talking about, even if they didn't realise how much they where spot on.
The concept states that the simplest change can potentially have a huge impact on the grand scheme of things. And the funny thing is sometimes we can see where it happen, the word not spoken, the silence at the wrong time, well wrong or right, it is hard to define how the impact is positive or negative until the story ends, as in the movie so many options with a common thread :) well the sense of humor of coincidence is quite dark and keen.
What if you could turn it back? Like the soundtrack of the movie, what if you could turn back time? Would you? Would you turn your back on what you've become to change a key event in your life? Would you close all the doors that lay before you? Well I guess the answer depends on one's regrets, but I really believe it shouldn't. Like the lyric says "Give me time to reason,give me time to think it through", well this would change it, I don't really want to go into the lyrics, I trust you listen and make your own judgement.
I do want to point out the world of possibility, I mean there is the nice quote that says "it is darkest before it is pitch black" ;P, I couldn't resist this one, but what I wanted to say is although the quote is true, it is only true under a perspective, if you open yourself to the possibility you might be surprised with what you find... (good or bad ;P, sorry couldn't resist)
Enjoy the song...


P.S.- Sorry for the inconsistency, I find it hard to focus today, plus I forgot to say, if you haven't seen the movie, please do, it is really worth it ;)

About thoughts...

Today I want to write about thoughts and our control of them. Sounds like a reasonable sentence, and yet I feel like it is not, I know we all have experienced lack of control over our thoughts and that is why the sentence makes sense, but ask yourselves can you dissociate yourselves from your thoughts? Aren't you thoughts a part of you (A big part)? This kind of brings the light to the real problem, are we trying to trick ourselves when we don't want to think about something? Well actually this last one is also a tricky question, because it is very likely that we want to think about it, we probably shouldn't and we are aware of this word "shouldn't". Overwork, overact, overdo, to avoid over thinking. It is funny how the English language provides us with this enhanced words that work quite well by abusing the sense of the word "over", think about it, this word alone would mean end but combined means too much, lol, just one of those curious things, or not.
Regardless of all of this my question is why do we try so hard to dodge ourselves, or thoughts, I mean honestly who can tell me that your thoughts are not a reflection of yourself? Yet we can divert from some thoughts, it is hard work, and some are better than others doing it but it can be done. Although this might seem strange, I think it simply underlines human complexity.
We are more than what we are, we are partly what we wish to be, our core self is continuously improving striving for more, and this is what you do when you see the thoughts that shouldn't be and you earese them. Sounds good? Well there is the down side, you might be able to cosmeticly change yourself, and sometimes it will stick, but more often than not you are simply faking it, and if you do it to much, well what are you? The thoughts that you should have or the thoughts that you want to have?
At the end of the day, you have to decide if you want to be true to yourself, or to what you think is right (considering you might be wrong, since there is never a clear cut right). Well I am a bit lost myself on this one, I suppose what I wrote reflects this uncertainty, the scientist in my tells me that the answer is somewhere in the middle, a hybrid approach is normally the optimal solution for complex problems, but the philosopher in me tells me that there is more between heaven and earth than my little brain can take in, thus answers will always be compromised by my limitations.

The power of words...

So today I am asking the power of words, the strength of a sound, the impact of a whisper. I would like not to give my view on this, but I would like others to take part in this, how to call it, train of thought? I am a compulsive user of words, and a abuser of its effects, a master of playing them in the right way, or so I think, or so you think, or even know. Regardless this is not about me, but about the power of words, its effect, I mean is it legitimate to use words to serve us? Or are we bound by a moral conduct of their understanding? The question is morals rely on words for foundation, so morality can be tweak at its base, leaving us with freedom do argue as we please. But should we? What is the point of doing it just because you can, honestly I can't believe I just said this, I do some things just because I can, or to show that I can, or maybe that is just a way to pretend that I don't care.
Funny that after a day of abusing the concept of playing with words, concepts, ideas, I would wonder about this, considering I didn't really care throughout the day, honestly I still don't, but I was thinking of others, should they get into the equation? Or should I take the survivor of the fittest approach? How much should we protect those who can't protect themselves and for which you have no particular affection?
LOL, I just realised, you quiet readers do not intervene in the blog enough for this type of post ;P ohh well...

A ghost day...

Well, in how many ways can we describe similar days, and normally on Fridays.
Nevertheless, which is a English word I find very German, since it would normally be 3 separate words :P, and there I go ranting. Well a day where even now due to my massive headache is of a person that has live this day, done all the tasks and interactions required, and yet it is as if I haven't, strange I know, maybe just the headache talking, I should talk about morality and morals, today it would be interesting due to a conversation I had, and yet has I still have in my msn "morality is just a compass, you don't have to follow it", this is my summary :P
Sorry but this ghost needs to hit the bed, perhaps more interesting topics in the next few days, I do have some thoughts, but I might just be delirious :P
To finish off, a live song for you to listen... but consider who is one of a kind? (Hint: ME :P)

It's a rainy day... (is it?;P)

Today I decided not to hide from words any more, and have a go at a post with nothing in mind, well except for the song at the end, which is the title of this post, and yet it is not what you might expect from such a tittle. The fact of the matter is I am witting this while listening to Enigma, thus not exactly on the wavelength of the end song. I should say I really like the "eheh" of the song, it is awesome, and the song is strangely nice. In the last couple of days I caught a bit of rain, I love the rain, my brain starts to race, it is awesome how I can see clearly with a bit of rain. Which reminds me, I almost did a video post, I thought it would be awesome to capture my thoughts after the rain, but obviously I reconsidered, but I promise to do an attempt one of these days, just not a rainy day :P.
The sound of Enigma is quite smoothing, just as I am, comfortable with myself and all my thoughts, how cool is that? Funny how the right music can make the difference between a heavy day and a light day, like I like to say the right soundtrack for one's life is half the battle. I know a bit of an exaggeration but I felt like doing it :P.
"Mea culpa" such an interesting expression, for those who don't know it, well Google it, somethings should be common knowledge. A concept of guilt, but at least from my perspective, not apologetic guilt, the simple statement of what one has done and its impact. Things sometimes are not positive but we are not sorry for doing them, things happen, life happens, one chooses to live or avoid living.
People who postpone living are curious beings, with a bizarre logic of "one day", some of them even go "in another life". Well the only life I know about is this one, thus don't take it personally if I choose the certainty of the (possibly) imperfect over the uncertainty of of the perfect. But I am ranting and since people are talking to me on msn my post ends with the promised song, enjoy... ;P

Shut up and Sleep with me

Ehehehe, start the morning with a sound from the past...



... with a funny video of the present... And simply smile ;)

Happy birthday Joana (a.k.a. Bond)

Right, everybody knows, or should know, how shitty I am with dates, not the events themselves, with those I am always quite good, meaning I do value them for people, and I do try hard for them. Regardless I've grown quite dependent from technology to support me for the actual dates, but at times it does fail, like this time, not going into details but I didn't pay attention yesterday to the warning alarm.
Parabens Pita, sabes que são sinceros...
The rest I'll just talk to Joana.
All in all a day full of emotion, some good, some bad, well I was not going to put another song, but this one will make someone smile... (did you ever do it?)