"Tedium is not the disease of being bored because there's nothing to do, but the more serious disease of feeling that there's nothing worth doing. This means that the more there is to do, the more tedium one will feel."
"In order to create, I destroyed myself; I have externalized so much of my inner life that even inside I now exist only externally."
"My life is so sad, and I don't even think of weeping over it; my days are so false, and I don't even dream of trying to change them."
"I prefer to fail having known the beauty of flowers than to triumph in a wilderness, for triumph is the blindness of the soul left alone with its worthlessness."
"What I most of all feel is weariness, and the disquiet that is its twin when the weariness has no reason to exist but to exist. I dread the gestures I have to make and am intellectually shy about the word I have to speak. Everything strikes me in advance as futile."
"Everything is complex for those who think, and no doubt thought itself takes delight in making things yet more complex. But those who think need to justofy their abdication with a vast programme of understanding, which they set forth - like liars their explanations - with heaps of exagerated detail that eventually reveal, once the earth is swept away, the lying root.
Everything is complex, or I'm the one who's complex. But at any rate it doesn't matter, because at any rate nothing matters. All of this, all these considerations that have strayed off the broad highway, vegetate in the gardens of excluded gods like climbing plants detached from their walls. Ans on this night as I conclude these inconclusive considerations, I smile at the vital irony which makes them appear in the human soul that was already, even before there were stars, an orphan of Fate's grand purposes."
For the people who don't know it, well i think this might inspire you to read this very heavy for the soul book from one of Portugal's greatest writters Fernando Pessoa...