A break from writing...

Well not really, but a break from my work, today I will probably not leave the office, since I want to have something to show my supervisor tomorrow. I guess one of the days where PhD life doesn't seem that good. I mean writing about shit, that collaborates with another shit towards making the shit work. You didn't get that? Well this is technical language ;P, well at least in certain places. This brings me to the word shit. This is one of the most used words in PhD life, even if you don't admit it. You bullSHIT a lot, after a while all looks like shit, you reefer to things as "that shit", etc. One of my colleagues said to me once I think the first step to see the light at the end of the tunnel is to stop referring to the shit as shit ;P. Well he hasn't succeeded in this, but he is quite good now ;P.
Well just wanted to stop a bit on the agent technology writing, but I can think of anything else, so back to work...

The dream job ("islandreefjob")

Well one of the posts i wanted to write for a while now, basically since I heard about it, has everybody in the world with a computer did.
So first of all the brilliance of the advertising move, I mean they had millions of applications in the first week, that means even more people checked it out... I am among the ones that didn't know about the place until I saw this add for the best job in the world. And in fact it seems to be the best job in the world, this is the sort of job that most people would do for free, so if you get 75.000 Euros out of it, well it is a nice bonus. I need to emphasize the brilliance of this move by the tourism office of the islands, it was on all news channels all across the globe, talk about free publicity, plus the place sells it self out, I mean who among you doesn't want to go there even if you have to pay for the trip? Of course not all of us can afford it, but that is the power of this add, the power of dreams...
Now that I covered the good, I would like to talk about what I thought of which it quite disturbing. Millions of applications, that is how happy we are with our lives? I mean this job asks you to drop your life and move leaving all behind, yes i know it is paradise, but I wonder how many people would apply if it was for 10 years, none? Well I think not, I think millions again, which makes you wonder if you are living the life you want, or simply the life you have... Well I guess all of us have dreams of simpler lives in a dream place, but why not act on these dreams? I for one, don't know the answer to this one, if you do, well just drop me a line...
Here are some videos for it...





Well, if you haven't and want to apply here is the link....

www.islandreefjob.com

Breakeven...

Hello world! A programing joke ;P, an hello from Nottingham since I am back here after a few days in Portugal. Today is a the first day of a week where I hope to break even. What does that mean? Well I have a lot of issues to deal with mainly at work and hopefully by the end of this week I'll be able to feel even. This balance has been missing in my life, so I've been getting the support to compensate for this on my more stable anchor (my mom), and on my new rock hard anchor (girlfriend).
This trip to Portugal was good to get a break and smell the coffee, or try to smell it :P. To be fair this realization makes more sense considering the coffee in the UK is shit, thus how could I smell the coffee here ;P. Stupid joke, anyway moving on...
So I did my final reach out to a friend of old, it is unfortunate that he did not take it, perhaps he will in the future, life is funny that way, thing have a tendency to come around again. Which reminds me I did the I haven't seen you in 10 years thing again, a high school classmate that I hadn't seen for ages. She is doing well, biologist working in environmental impact projects or something like that, she was one of the people that wasn't hanging around with the main crowd, a bit on the side lines, but good to see her. For those who don't know me, although I mostly hanged around with the main people, I was one of those that from time to time did like to talk with people outside of that group. I think this is the case today still, and I think it is important to keep things in perspective. But this would be a post on perspectives which this is not.
To be honest I think it is a bit long already this post, but I want to leave you with a great song, at least for me it is, I would replace my song number two in the Christmas album for this one in a heart beat ;).

Air Travel...

I struggled a bit to find the topic for this post, it is about what happens in airports and planes, not a exhaustive view of the suggest but small things that you start picking up when you travel too much.
The first time I air traveled it was awesome, all was new, I was excited, etc, bla bla, but now a days it is more "Am I doing this again? Great!!!". Let’s forget about the kids, the annoying people at the counter on both sides of the tilt, this is about small things that I noticed today. Ohh yes I am in Portugal for a meeting.
First one of the day, and I sear this is true, who clips their nails in the airport? Nobody? well think again, I mean seriously it is like Seinfeld hour when he questions the razor disposal slot at the plane toilet. Why would you clip your nails in public? And if so at the airport? I mean isn't there some sort of hygiene restriction? I was baffled by this, I could not believe my eyes, but it did happen, seriously I know people are different but I was still in London capital of a western country, well that showed me...
The other thing that annoyed me was the seats in the planes, and not it is not about the space between them, it is about the fact that they can tilt more, which is simply ridiculous on a 2 hour flight, I mean people get crammed by other that simple don't care and pretend they don't notice until someone points it out and they go like "ohh, sorry didn't notice", I mean come on fucking wanks. The guy in front of me was very nice because he endure the guy in front of him and did not complain or did the same to me, well like they say in Portugal, there is half the world that is good the other half is trying to get advantage from the good people...

Hey leonardo... or is it Hey Pedro?

So today is a post to my special someone ;). Something we talk about one of those late nights and this really sums us quite well. As such I'll leave the poetry in the hands of the ones that know it better ;).

She don't care about my car
She don't care about my money
And that's real good because I don't got alot to spend
But if I did it wouldn't mean nothin'

She likes me for me
Not because I look like Tyson Beckford
With the charm of Robert Redford
Oozing out my ears
But what she sees
Are my faults and indecisions
My insecure conditions
And the tears upon the pillow that I shed

She don't care about my big screen
Or my collection of DVD's
Things like that just never mattered much to her
Plus she don't watch to much t.v.

And she don't care that I can fly her
To places she ain't never been
But if she really wants to go
I think deep down she knows that
All she has to say is when

She likes me for me
Not because I hang with Leonardo
Or that guy who played in "Fargo"
I think his name is Steve
She's the one for me
And I just can't live without her
My arms belong around her
And I'm so glad I found her once again

And I'm so glad I found her once again
And I'm so glad I found her once again
Gazing at the ceiling
as we entertain our feelings in the dark
The things that we're afraid of are gonna show us
what we're made of in the end

She likes me for me
Not because I sing like Pavarotti
Or because I am such a hottie
I like her for her
Not because she's phat like Cindy Crawford
She has got so much to offer
Why does she waste all her time with me
There must be something there that I don't see

She likes me for me
Not because I'm tough like Dirty Hairy
Make her laugh just like Jim Carrey
Unlike the Cable Guy
But what she sees
Is that I can't live without her
My arms belong around her
And I'm so glad I found her once again
Found her once again
I'm so glad I found her once again
On again



P.S.- Another song straight from the past ;P

The cold...

The cold is a strange thing (for a lack of a better word), it makes us feel alive, real, and yet it numbs us from feeling. I guess one could say the same about heat, but the cold is more reflective, makes us think, makes us question things. Today I thought what do you want to write about, and this is what is coming out so bare with me perhaps something good will come out of it, if not well I won't write much anyway.
I like the cold, I like it because it makes me feel all of myself, perhaps that doesn't make sense, but it is what happens. In the cold I can think better, clearer, my sense are more aware. I guess this is natural since in the cold our bodies are on full alert, thus there should be some sort of chemical or biological explanation for this. Unfortunately, or not ;P, I am not a chemist or a biologist and as such I have to use simple logic to provide possible explanations.
In life the cold is a alert for the body but it also provides better insight to other aspects of oneself, if you use it wisely of course. And please don't be an idiot and go stand in the cold to think, it is just something you can combine, in moderation obviously.

Passive aggressive...

A long overdue post, but lately I've been a bit scared to write since it is quite a big gamble considering the erratic thoughts that I am having. As usual music is a good catalyst to motivate me to write, it provides a frame of thought that I can stick to, that I can see and try to bring out my thoughts in a way. However I know that my mind is not in its more stable form, thus this my go horribly wrong but I should try...
Passive aggressive is one of those terms that has always fascinated me, like all terms that seem to contradict themselves, at least at the first glance. The funny thing is have you ever checked what does passive aggressive means? I mean we all have our idea of what it means but do you really know? Well this is a good change to use wiki technology...

Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible. It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious. For example a worker asked to organize a meeting might happily agree, but will then take so long on each task in the process and offer excuses such as calls not being returned or that the computer is too slow, that things aren't ready when the meeting is due to start. A colleague is forced to hurriedly complete the task, or the meeting is postponed.

Surprised? Perhaps not but yet this is something that is more present than we realize, even in ourselves... There is a song that I listen just when I was at almost breaking point in university, and just heard it again and well here it is this post... Anyways don't want to write anymore sorry for that, tomorrow I'll start a schedule of posting, simply because some things need to be posted so that they don't seem irrelevant...

It's in your reach
Concentrate
It's in your reach
Concentrate
If you deny this
Then it's your fault
That God's in crisis
He's over

It's in your reach
Concentrate
It's in your reach
Concentrate
If you deny this
Then it's your fault
That God's in Crisis
He's over

Every time I rise I see you falling
Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart
Every time I rise I see you falling
Can you find me space, find me space

It's in your reach
Concentrate
It's in your reach
Concentrate
If you deny this
Then it's your fault
That God's in Crisis
He's over

Every time I rise I see you falling
Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart
Every time I rise I see you falling
Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart
It falls apart
It falls apart
Falls apart

Every time I rise I see you falling
Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart
Every time I rise I see you falling
Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart
It falls apart
It falls apart
Falls apart

A bit lost...

Today I wanted to write something here, but not much since my head is not organized at the moment, a bit lost between Portugal and the UK. The different lives, different worlds, got back to the UK, but I still don't feel like I am here. The knowledge of your surroundings but not feeling that you are there. The matrix effect, not sure if I mentioned the matrix here, come to think of it I haven't spoken about it in a while, and I am not sure that it is relevant. Nevertheless for this small point I will mention it. The feeling that your senses are misleading you into a reality that is as it should be, but it doesn't feel real. Oh well, let's not whine it is the beginning of the year, tomorrow I'll write a post or two, should have a couple of hours to kill due to lab duty, which just pissed me off, but that is another story...

2009 The new beginning... Well is it?

Hey after a period of absence we are well in 2009, so I'll skip all the best wishes and go straight into the title. Small note due to my absence I have several posts that I need to write about several topics and I promise I'll get around to each and everyone.
One year after I started this blog and guess what? yes it is a cliché, a lot has changed :P.
So new year, new life, or so we say in my country. But is it? And more importantly where does this wish for change come from, and why the hell people condense it on this particular date? Well it funny but I fall in this category of people who review their year and assess what new beginnings are required... This blog was a result of a new year resolution, and funny enough I do think this one actually worked, I do speak more about myself, so who am I to bash what works ;P
The problem is, sometimes it doesn't, if our heart is not ready for the change our brain wants to impose. It is good to review, assess and think, analyse and conclude, but at this time of the year remember things can't be rushed, even if they seem inevitable, sometimes our heart needs time to get to where our mind is....
Just a thought....