Lack of motivation...

Today I want to ask a question, and hopefully by the end of the text I will produce an answer, if not please help ;P. How do we deal with the lack of motivation? The type of feeling that overwhelms us making it impossible to act? The feeling when we know we can do it, we see what needs to be done and how, and yet the power of this feeling prevents us of acting.
Motivation is a tricky feeling, but to understand it let's look at the definition of the word:
1. the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior; "we did not understand his motivation"; "he acted with the best of motives"
2. the condition of being motivated; "his motivation was at a high level"
3. the act of motivating; providing incentive

When looking upon the definition one clearly sees the reason for the action. The question is what if the reason is clear, but you don't feel it. I do something towards achieving an objective, but this objective might be define by a third person that can in turn provide yourself with an objective, something like do this for me because I can help you with that. This should obviously degrade the motivation, since it is a second tear motivation, right? Well not really, it really depends on how much you want something. At the end of the day you are motivated to do several things on different tear levels, but you do feel it, you see it, and this is what I ask. Is motivation a feeling or a logical thought? Because I see all the logical sense on what should motivate me, but that does not provide me with motivation.
It is a puzzle for me, how to trigger the feeling of motivation when, and this is the tricky part, you seem not to want anything? And don't get me wrong, I want things, but I don't crave for them, meaning if I don't get them, well it wont matter that much to me.
Which raises another question, if you don't bother you shouldn't so it, but in reality to be in this world and society you need to do stuff, even if you don't bother. Like most people don't bother about their job, but they still do it, the question is why? To live in this world one needs to take part in it, I guess, but where do you find the motivation to do so, if you can follow this reasoning? Well I don't know do you?

Depression medication?

Well apparently I am going to try that now :P, but for headaches. Today went to the doctor and told him about some recurring headaches that I have. So told me about this drug that is an anti depressive, but that they use it in small doses for such cases. So far so good right? Go to the doctor, explain the problem, get a solution. But what I found funny was the fact that he was worried that I might take offence on the type of medication. After thinking about it, it obviously makes sense, people might feel that depression whatever is something to stay clear of. Sounds stupid, but it is funny with the right type of humour. Nevertheless it was interesting and now I am on prescription anti-depressives medication ;P, at least if it helps with the headaches ;P

Twitters...

Well I thought I posted something on this, but I couldn't find it, so a small post turns into a bigger one.
Twittering, one of the new cool words, came across it watching the daily show a couple of months back. Don't get me wrong I heard it before, but just didn't catch my attention. But in the daily show, well jon makes fun of members of congress that are Twittering during a important speech. Like he said how desperate can you be to look trendy. So Twitter is the, how do they put it, ahh, what happens between mails and blogs, well now you can take the gap between mails and blogs and twitter! How awesome isn't it? Unless you actually have a life, with like things to do, but hey that never happens :P.
I don't even see the point considering facebook has status updates and all sort of other bullshits, which I already find, well, lets say pointless, so WTF?
Please tell me what is it about this, I really don't see it, "look just got up", "hitting the shower now", I mean what have we come to, how low and boring and decadent can life be to do this? Would really like thoughts on this, but like I said this is a small post, I wanted to share a funny one for all the Twittering people...

Another update?

Well it appears so. The time to actually put a lot of content in the blog is quite thin. So a quick update is the option for now.
Last week I was skiing in the Pyrenees, it was great except for a minor accident, but I will post about it later with some pictures and videos.
I came back from this holiday directly into a cold, and a project meeting on Monday. The meeting was in London so I was up at 5:30 am which is never nice, train, meeting, train, effective but not helping in the illness department. Tuesday was feeling like shit, came to work but couldn't do much so when home, and bed does actually help. But don't try to get out too soon or you end up there again, Wednesday.
Today back to work, and obviously the lost days are making a difference. Although I am not 100%, well at least I am doing something.
Some family problems from Portugal on Tuesday, also didn't help the matter at all. So pretty hectic week with very little to show for it. Oh well... Update complete...

Doop - Doop

So today just a funny sound, I enjoyed walking to the it. A sound to make you happy and silly, like I said a perfect song for an inspired soul that seeks a funny choreography. Enjoy...

Overkill...

Hello, been a bit busy with life, and so the time for writing has been reduced, time and patience, but who is keeping track anyway.
Today gave another lecture, this one was on short notice and I simply did the slides I was given. It was fine since it was a lecture to prepare the students for the lab demonstrations, which I normally do :P. I must say that it is funny how much you can say when you know a lot about a topic, I was expecting the class to be half an hour, but I managed to talk for a full hour, and I started making it short when I realized the time I was taking.
But this is not a post about the class, it is about my nights, more on the falling asleep part. I am one of those people that struggles sometimes to fall asleep, but if I do waking up is the problem. But sometimes I have periods that I wake up during the night all the time, so bad sleep, and also with troubles getting to sleep. The funny thing is in the morning I can sleep with nothing disturbing me. I guess I am really a night person. I always say I that I am, no problems postponing going to sleep, problems waking up :P. Nevertheless this is a song that comes to mind in these sleepless times, hope you enjoy it as I do, and hopefully help you realize when you are overkilling yourself about stuff. For me it helps to realize, but doesn't really help to stop it, so if you find that remedy let me know.



I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know I'll be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away

Grub 1.5 and the error 22

Hey, so this is a overdue post from last Wednesday, nevertheless I think it is important to share this experience. So I was installing Linux Ubuntu 8.10 on my newish laptop (Since Christmas I have bean meaning to do it) and I ran into some problems. In the course of events I ended up having to format my computer, I know in the course of events sounds too wide, but I don't want to describe the whole process. So I'll describe what happens, I installed Linux, that was fine, Grub 1.5 which is the boot loader was working fine, but as soon as I went to Windows Vista, the system detected something in the partitions and suggested to do a diagnostics. Until here it nothings strange, but this actually messed up the Grub 1.5, so when I restarted I got the "the error 22".
Long story short, the best way to get rid of this is to reinstall Linux but do it on the partition that you used before. It took me some iterations to reach this conclusion. Now I have all of it set up, but it took a lot of work to reinstall Windows and Linux. On the upside the several iterations helped me learn this simple thing, learn how to install Linux manually, that is not the guided way, it saves you a lot of trouble. And if you get "the error 22" well hope this helps.

Everyday is Exactly the Same?

Is it? Well depends on the point of view, as for all things. The point of view lesson that I learn from one of my top 3 movies of all times, the dead poets society. There are always several views for the same situation, and in the end the only one that counts is the one we see at the given moment. The same day, same job, same things to do... Or is it different, I mean you can see answering phones as always the same, but it is rarely the same person that you are answering.
Lately I've been beating up my mind because of lack of vision, not foreseeing a outcome, not being prepared for it, when I should have at least have it in mind. People are as they are, giving them extra leverage is not useful, if they will change they should do it under the harshest conditions possible, and even them it is likely that they won't change (bare in mind I am talking of people's core, change is always happening to the human being, just not to its core).
This title is an excuse to blow up some steam, and on a day like today, not all is the same, but fuck, how many things can one do wrong. Not many, gain points of view, I messed up my laptop, took me the whole afternoon to get it running again, fixable? Yes, but come on, if there was a god, this is one of the situations that you would say "what kind of god would let this to happen?". And this was the latest, yesterday did a mess at home just by bumping into the table...
Regardless this is not the topic, and this should be one of the worst posts I have posted, should be confused, should be messed up, because guess what, that is my head at the moment.
Work, well wish I could tell you can't focus so, it is rather pointless.
Girlfriend, well there is my rock, otherwise I would be so fucking destroyed. At this time in my life I see the point of view of how happy I should be, and I am, but I can't be completely, but them again who can?
The song for this post, from the movie wanted, which I liked the idea of the story, I enjoyed the soundtrack for this song, but the movie itself was merely OK.
Enjoy...