Today I am having a hard time focusing on my work, not that I can't do it, or that I don't understand it, or that it is not working or or or.My mind simply wonders off towards the future. One of those times that one wishes to focus on the present and yet our eyes drift to the future. Nevertheless this is not a chronicle illness, this is a simple text book of mind over matter, or mind over mind, ;P, the will of logic against the concerns over the uncertainties in life. Some of you might know, at times I am a bit of a control freak, not in a wild sense, but I do like to have some sort of overview over things, actually I pride myself of this. Yes, yes, I know it comes with a certain degree of disadvantages, but if you have the ability to play out scenarios in your head with a high degree of accuracy wouldn't you? It is not a full proof thing, but it does come quite handy in this chaotic life. The thing is, only when things are really disrupted, meaning, things change a lot, this scenarios don't change much they are simply "calculated" once, and are used if required. It is a quite automatic thing, anyway this is not my point this is more of a big picture building block.
The planing for uncertain events, is in fact the main topic, the difficulties associated to big changes that condition decisions. The thing is time brings comfort in predictions, the level of confidence of what one things shouldn't be associated to what one feels at a given point, but more of an assessment over time. I know sounds horrible, a very pragmatic view of life, but it does work. Don't get me wrong I do feel the things in the moment but I tend not to let this effect my view of the big picture, obviously one can't do this fully but one can try.
The hardest part is the insight to the future and not being able to act on it, since the big picture doesn't allow it, but yet you see it so this prevents decisions that would take you in another direction. Sometimes my life approach does give me a hard time to live, this compromise between who I am, and who I allow myself to be, a secure approach that allows me to live, yet gives me a hard time, well it is safe... You see the predicament? I need to find compromises which makes medium term planing practically impossible, since I need to change previous plans to fit the new scenarios that I am envision in the near future. Any thoughts on this one? Feel free I always like to debate abstract behaviors ;P
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