This is the life...

Hello, so apparently today I am writing a real post, or a post worthy of the resolution that I set out to do. So as you know I am in Portugal, which is a weird felling of belonging yet seeing the distance. I actually would like to come back here and start something quite interesting, I mean these are my roots, where I can clearly see I can make a huge influence in other people's world, my relevance is huge and yet I am like a visitor of these worlds. This is the best definition, I visit these worlds, check on them, but I have the feeling of being simply a monitor agent that interferes upon needs and needs only. This is not a bad thing, like I said before I am focusing on my own world, but it is giving away a prominent position in very relevant worlds. Signs of time I guess, but there is always a feeling of nostalgia attached to these realisations. The best one can do is to leave the worlds as orderly as possible, and do check on them, they didn't lose their importance, simply things change, regardless of all efforts one might apply not to.
I guess I am not making much sense, started about roots here and now talking about the worlds where I am relevant. The question is Nottingham is my life now, but I can see myself here, it goes hand in hand with the relevance of doing a PhD. My life could work here, with the addition of a plus one, and I can see that which makes me quite comfortable about my country and my future in it, perhaps my two year plan abroad after the PhD might be changed (abroad meaning outside of EU).
This song provided me a nice title, while giving a nice beat for this post, and for the randomness and predictability of life, life is in fact a journey, like the song I heard today in my car from old CDs said "I know I was born and I know that I'll die, the in between is mine, I AM MINE". But this one is well different beat, questioning things with a happier beat, this is how I wish to proceed, aware of my past, living my present(while enjoying it) but still questioning my future... But in a happy beat ;)...



Oh the wind whistles down
The cold dark street tonight
And the people they were dancing to the music vibe
And the boys chase the girls with the curls in their hair
While the shy tormented youth sit way over there
And the songs they get louder
Each one better than before

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

So your heading down the road in your taxi for four
And you're waiting outside Jimmy's front door
But nobody's in and nobody's home 'til four
So you're sitting there with nothing to do
Talking about Robert Riger and his motley crew
And where you're gonna go and where you're gonna sleep tonight

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

And you're singing the songs
Thinking this is the life
And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna sleep tonight?

Where you gonna sleep tonight?


P.S.- Sorry for the post, looking at it, well it is widely off of its intend, well this is life ;)

Your Latest Trick

Hey you blog readers, so guess what BENFICA won which always makes me a happy person, but against Sporting, well it makes it even better :D.
Anyway, today I put another of those CDs in the car that made me go wow, so today the title is another song, well this is one of those of the old school romance ones, and for a strange reason it works so well ;) enjoy...



All the late night bargains have been struck
Between the satin beaus and their belles
And prehistoric garbage trucks
Got the city to themselves
Echoes roars dinosaurs
They're all doing the monster mash
And most of the taxis, most of the whores
Are only taking calls for cash

I don't know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick

My door was standing open
Security was laid back and lax
But it was only my heart got broken
You must have had a pass key made out of wax
You played robbery with insolence
And I played the blues in twelve bars down Lover's Lane
And you never did have the intelligence to use
The twelve keys hanging off my chain

I don't know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick

Now it's past last call for alcohol
Past recall has been here and gone
The landlord he finally paid us all
The satin jazzmen have put away their horns
And we're standing outside of this wonderland
Looking so bereaved and so bereft
Like a Bowery bum when he finally understands
The bottle's empty and there's nothing left

I don't know how it happened
It was faster than the eye could flick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick

tick box

So today I got told off, I guess rightly so for not being posting more regularly in the blog. So today I obviously had to post something regardless of my level of tiredness. Today I had a full day in Portugal, 4 friends, plus some family stuff. A day of updates and some reminiscing, a day in Portugal that you can't avoid, mainly because you don't want to avoid it :P.
So the American presidential debate is on, really how can Americans have any doubts? Bahh, anyway tomorrow I'll post something on something today I am going to watch and rest... Be good...

Sleeping my head away....

Hey you all, well today I get to post stuff because on holiday in portugal there is hardly any excuse not to. A lot of stuff in the last week prevented me to actually write anything, nevertheless I'll try to fill you in, basically I moved house, that is it, well not just but never mind that.
Today I arrived in Portugal, and when I was doing my Guincho tour (driving around in Guincho, google it (Guincho) if you care :P) I put on a CD from the past, besides the reminiscing, this CD reminding me of the best song for driving fast, well if not the best it would be in the top 5, anyway I wanted to share it, feel free to tell me yours...



OK the music clip is, well, lets say from the time machine, but the sound is still AWESOME ;)

Making adult decisions...

Well, this is one of those topics that has the potential to be quite cliche. Nevertheless, today I should actually address it not due to new realizations but due to old ones being applicable to me. In my life I always had the need to assess others in order to understand my surroundings, and at times this induces certain logical thoughts that you understand but don't quite get.
The post is about one of these, the difficulties to make adult decisions. First of all is it hard to make adult decisions, and don't get me wrong i am not talking about sensible decisions, I am talking of the power to make unilateral real world decisions, that affect others, being commitments, contracts, buying expensive stuff, I guess it is all summarized in one word "choice" but with liability. This is what makes the difference, the liability, I mean we are always liable for our choices but society is organized in such a way that it makes this liability a key aspect (as it should).
The thing is, I am a 27 year old kid, who has more power than he bargain for, and it is still a big surprise for me the acting like an adult thing. I know how to do it, I have to do it a lot at work and things, but still I don't quite feel comfortable in this role, like assessing co-workers which I had to do when I was a consultant. I know I am very full of myself, but I mean it does have a different weight when other things are involved, especially because there are more unknowns, harder to control, contain, to predict. Well this is not true, you simply have to care less to deal in such terms, leave a bit of who you are behind, I guess this is the growing up thing that people talk about, changing the views, or simply accepting that we need to shift where we look. Different weights in decisions, require harder backbones, after all adult decisions don't have the cushions for mistakes you have in your youth, parents do give some grown up support but it is hardly the same thing. Ultimately it is about liability, the fear of failing and being accountable, well such is life, but if you know something to be true go for it, after all like my mom said if it is not a health problem, you can solve anything else...

Planing the uncertain events...

Today I am having a hard time focusing on my work, not that I can't do it, or that I don't understand it, or that it is not working or or or.My mind simply wonders off towards the future. One of those times that one wishes to focus on the present and yet our eyes drift to the future. Nevertheless this is not a chronicle illness, this is a simple text book of mind over matter, or mind over mind, ;P, the will of logic against the concerns over the uncertainties in life. Some of you might know, at times I am a bit of a control freak, not in a wild sense, but I do like to have some sort of overview over things, actually I pride myself of this. Yes, yes, I know it comes with a certain degree of disadvantages, but if you have the ability to play out scenarios in your head with a high degree of accuracy wouldn't you? It is not a full proof thing, but it does come quite handy in this chaotic life. The thing is, only when things are really disrupted, meaning, things change a lot, this scenarios don't change much they are simply "calculated" once, and are used if required. It is a quite automatic thing, anyway this is not my point this is more of a big picture building block.
The planing for uncertain events, is in fact the main topic, the difficulties associated to big changes that condition decisions. The thing is time brings comfort in predictions, the level of confidence of what one things shouldn't be associated to what one feels at a given point, but more of an assessment over time. I know sounds horrible, a very pragmatic view of life, but it does work. Don't get me wrong I do feel the things in the moment but I tend not to let this effect my view of the big picture, obviously one can't do this fully but one can try.
The hardest part is the insight to the future and not being able to act on it, since the big picture doesn't allow it, but yet you see it so this prevents decisions that would take you in another direction. Sometimes my life approach does give me a hard time to live, this compromise between who I am, and who I allow myself to be, a secure approach that allows me to live, yet gives me a hard time, well it is safe... You see the predicament? I need to find compromises which makes medium term planing practically impossible, since I need to change previous plans to fit the new scenarios that I am envision in the near future. Any thoughts on this one? Feel free I always like to debate abstract behaviors ;P

Black and gold...

Here I am back from my Switzerland trip, a very normal business trip it was :P
Anyway today I want to talk about the song I am going to post, a song that you feel its beat and yet it is so much more than just a danceable tune. I guess my current life view allows for this extra enjoyment of a simple tune. How simple things can change from black to gold, how the reality is in its truest sense in the eye of the beholder....



If the fish swam out of the ocean
and grew legs and they started walking
and the apes climbed down from the trees
and grew tall and they started talking

and the stars fell out of the sky
and my tears rolled into the ocean
now i'm looking for a reason why
you even set my world into motion

'cause if you're not really here
then the stars don't even matter
now i'm filled to the top with fear
but it's all just a bunch of matter
'cause if you're not really here
then i don't want to be either
i wanna be next to you
black and gold
black and gold
black and gold

i looked up into the night sky
and see a thousand eyes staring back
and all around these golden beacons
i see nothing but black

i feel a way of something beyond them
i don't see what i can feel
if vision is the only validation
then most of my life isn't real

'cause if you're not really here
then the stars don't even matter
now i'm filled to the top with fear
but it's all just a bunch of matter
'cause if you're not really here
then i don't want to be either
i wanna be next to you
black and gold
black and gold
black and gold

Don't quite get it...

Hey you all, sorry for the absence I clearly need to keep different times to write in the blog, but you know life is what happens while you are busy writing on your blog ;P. But I'll try and keep to a post a day, at least work days, although I am going to Switzerland tomorrow, so next one is probably going to be on Friday.
So Microsoft is trying to renew its image to look cooler, and when I found out about their new adds with Seinfeld, well I thought how can they go wrong ;P. So the first add is out, I think it is funny, but I don't get it, how does it relate to Windows, I mean well it is a Seinfeld, about nothing, so... Well LOL, it got me thinking about it and showing it in my blog so I guess it is doing its job ;P enjoy...

Out of the market...

A somewhat overdue post, quite frankly not really as a requirement but more as a statement of the importance of my resolution to create this blog. The point of the blog is still as present as ever and my commitment to it as well, thus this post.
So to the topic, I am out of the market, well this statement is not really recent, but yet I guess I haven't put things in these terms yet. The market, this interesting concept coming out of the mind of the economic geniuses of the past. Well my market value has been high for a while, but lets say it has reached "conscientious" all time high. I say "conscientious" because there are parts of my life where it was very blurry either way. The simplicity of the matter is it is high, I am aware of it, how awesome I am and all that arrogant language that I've learned to tone down... Regardless of all of that, the market has lost its appeal, reasons? Well that are reasons beyond reason that drive our decisions, even when we think otherwise... I know a cliché, to be honest this cliché stage is not cool but, it is :P.
Market is just another word to interpret human interactions, how to deal with things, events, people, assess, analyse, etc. LOL, it is funny how good one can be at this game, or whatever you want to call it, the thing is my value is as high as it is because I know all that I know, and I know what I've learned which is a consequence of who I am, thus AWESOME :P.
Ok this post is not about me in that sense, the post is not about my market theories, my assessments, my games, my worlds, it is simply a statement of me being out in the market but not really for sale, and I am not really interested to buy anything, unless it comes in pares :P (a little humour). This guy is now looking at the markets of futures, meaning in less immediate things, LOL, I really need to post my theory about markets here, this post would make so much more sense... But no time for that today, today is about pulling myself of the market, buying out my market shares, a bit sad... And yet I am happy so, life goes on to better things, at least one hopes.

Just realised this is the most unromantic view I could put things, LOL, well that is my brain for you, but I compensate with nice borrow words...

Too tired...

Ok, I owe a post, really a big one. But I am destroyed so...