Today I feel unease, nostalgic, not exactly, it is just of those nights, tried to sleep... couldn't... One of those nights that in a film of your life requires a soundtrack, and guess what, it helps to navigate through youtube finding the next piece of the soundtrack. Not sure if it is just me, sometimes I like navigating youtube to think about life, the funny thing is today is less thoughts but more feelings. It is like I have the need to match my mood to songs, and yet there is no song pattern, it is like my spirit is all and nothing in one single moment... Not sure this makes much sense, but then again didn't start a blog to make any sense... Just another piece on the weird combination of topics on this blog...
The song at the moment is from my past Bush - Inflatable, at a given time of my life this song meant hope, actually hope at a time I felt hopeless, funny enough what started as a break with the past to look at a future, became a symbol of past destruction, something forever attached to one of those people I am sure I touched and who touched me, but yet is a mere memory of the past, a feeling that you get when you listen to songs that were soundtracks for episodes of your life... Episodes that define you, and yet seem to simply be there as a feeling not a real lesson learned kinda thing. At times like this I wonder if we are just what we feel and we find words and logic to justify simply that... And just like that the song has stop, time to navigate somewhere else...
Bryan Adams - Everything I do, well what to say for this one, from a time where I was learning what music was, were the lyrics started to make sense, when this concept of liking a girl came to past... The first kiss, the first heartbreak, my first girlfriend if you can call her that at a age of 11, and yet I did, and lived at the time thinking I felt the lyrics of this song... And yet, that is not really the case, but hey I was 11 give me a break... The memory of all of this under the most romantic umbrella and the first hint on how hard would be to find a match for such a moral kid, already full of himself and all knowledgeable about what relations should be and trust in these relationships. Long story short, she questioned my commitment because of a rumur started by a guy that liked her and I broke up with her on the spot, I know quite dramatic for an 11 year old, but I was kinda of a dreamer... Still am in many ways... And the song stop, time to navigate further and yet not sure I should share more...
Meredith Brooks - What would happen if we kissed, a song from a pivotal point in my life, mine and a couple of other people, a clear sliding doors moment, where I could see several paths in front of me... I wish I could say I made this choice completely alone, and in a way I did, but I have a clear notion that the slightest difference would have produced a different outcome... A time where I thought I knew what I wanted, and yet knew that it would destroy a lot of who I am... The simplicity of a kiss for others, has always had a different tool on me... I remembered this because I was a moral kid and I managed to remain a moral man regardless of circumstance... Despite of this not being clear for all in my life, but then again who is fishing for recognition... The guy with the blog... Well I only have a blog because this sort of thing would remain in past time only with me... And another song is pasted...
I will continue navigation but I am tired of writting for now... Not that anybody is listen... From me to the world, take care and catch you next time...
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