Saturday, February 6, 2010

To be a friend....

Well hello world, I thought about writing this post during this week but it was quite a busy week. No excuse but I still wanted to say it. Funny enough reading a blog from someone who made a comment on mine made me realise I should write it.
I like to give credit to a book I read some years back that talk about this topic, this is my view, but I can't really say I was not influenced by this view, so kudos for Miguel Esteves Cardoso.
That said, let's make a scenario, your best friend cheats on his girlfriend and you are confronted with this by a 3rd person saying how bad of a person he is. What do you do? Well the question is are you a real friend, or do you just use this word for no reason?
Morally I would say he is wrong, so if it was for another person I would probably say that, for a friend I would defend him, highlighting the circumstances and trying to justify it as reasonable. Never putting in question my friend. This is not to say I wouldn't tell him off, but the negatives I would only relay to him. This is the thing friends supply advice, but also support, as a friend I am bias, and I am proud to be bias. Saying stuff like "I am really his friend, but on that he is a prick" doesn't reveal a real friend in my view.
This is why you should be careful with the use of the word friend, most people you know are not friend just acquaintances, you should not make the border of this blurred, the risk is losing any notion of friendship. To be friends you need to know and trust the person, and accept them with their faults and qualities. Friends are the family that you choose, so choose wisely.
Ask yourself this question, do you trust the person to do stuff for them with now explanation? Well I would for a friend, ask the questions later...
This is not to say that friendship doesn't end, so if you feel that person is not your friend, do die trying to make it so... It is two ways, and you might carry some good feelings to the end of your life about someone that was your friend, sometimes to be a friend you need to let go...

As for the original trigger, of this post, this lyric which has more to it than a catchy chorus:

You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star

Baby ?cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because

When the sun shines, we?ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out till the end

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh, eh eh eh)

These fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart
Because

When the sun shines, we?ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out till the end

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh, eh eh eh)

You can run into my arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
Come here to me
There's no distance in between our love

So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because

When the sun shines, we?ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out till the end

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella, eh eh eh, eh eh eh)

It's raining
Ooh baby it's raining
Baby come here to me
Come here to me

It's raining
Ooh baby it's raining
You can always come here to me
Come here to me

It?s pouring rain
It?s pouring rain
Come here to me
Come here to me

Here a different version :



and the original :P

4 comments:

Havelock Slim said...

Do you imply that friendship is beyond moral questioning? While your situation reeks of piddly middle school drama, there is a deeper question at root which begs to be answered. What is it to be a friend? You are right, in that we as a society tend to use the term friend to cover a great many realationships which are not really friendly. We call many aquaintences friends when they are really nothing more than shadow players in the drama of our own lives. But you cannot define through absence. We cannot describe a friend only by claiming what a friends is not. So back to the origional question, is a friend beyond question? Never. Sometimes it is only the true friend which will tell you that an action was trully wrong.

Pedro Ferreira said...

Hi, first I'd like to thank you for the comment. I would also like to point out your middle school remark as irrelevant as I said it was a hipotetical scenario, granted that the first time this sort of thoughts went through my mind was middle school, thus my use of the same scenarios. As to the content of your comment, a friend is not beyond question, you can question at any time if you want to remain friends with a person. However if you are a true friend you should know the person, granted that there is always room for a disappointment, but if it comes to that you should deal with it. The question is not about telling your friend of about something he/she did wrong, you should tell the truth and be straight with them. The question is to defend them to the "outside world". I find that cheating is wrong, however I have some friends that I know are potential cheaters, if I accept them as my friends and call them as such, they can expect me to defend them, using all of my arguing abilities in their favour. And I would tell them off, but in the end they are my friends, I know them, they know me. To be a true friend you need to accept each other flaws, once you done that and remain friends, then yes it is beyond question in my book. (Again there is room for disappointments, but I rather be disappointed than not to have real friendship)

ADVERSE! said...

hmmmm, interesting read for me.....i had a friend triangle going on for about hmmmm 3years. i tried the honest open approach lololol....and to my great supprise the one i thought could do open n honest turned out to be the one that wouldnt/couldnt n vice verser, thus sed i lost one friend and gained a deeped friendship with the one that supprised me! i say ya never can tell....weve all had our finger burnt at some point or another.i know i have! im a all out friend once im your REAL freind lol...with age ive learnt who to back and who not to waste my energy on but that said im 35 and still supprised by friends/aquaintances....and yes im a shit speller

Kellie Fantastic said...

Sometimes its our friendships that help us make sense of the world around us. It seems as though as we grow older we become more skeptical of our friends, where as young children we were better able to trust freely of our friends. Friends are beyond flaws, because with a bond like that you tend to look past that.