I am again on one of my wondering music navigation nights, check my multiple emails, even the ones I never checked, and thought that I should write something, inicially I was on facebook, so I thought maybe I should do a status update ( for the first time ever :P ), and that got me thinking people are more concern with all their contacts that they care less and less for blogs, finding thoughts of people that you have to search for? I mean come on just check facebook, there is a world of thoughts, photos and gossip and of people you actually know :P
Well I am being ironic, I thought once of posting my blog on facebook, but they I wondered why? If someone would really want to know about me they would ask, or find the blog anyway...
I think the time for blogs as passed, it got somehow incorporated into social networks...
Today it is all about the network, who you know, not so much what you know, people can be as interesting or uninteresting as they want, but if more people press the "like" bottom well those are the thoughts that all will follow... Just another one of those thoughts I decided to share, have a good one...
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Navigating the night away...
Today I feel unease, nostalgic, not exactly, it is just of those nights, tried to sleep... couldn't... One of those nights that in a film of your life requires a soundtrack, and guess what, it helps to navigate through youtube finding the next piece of the soundtrack. Not sure if it is just me, sometimes I like navigating youtube to think about life, the funny thing is today is less thoughts but more feelings. It is like I have the need to match my mood to songs, and yet there is no song pattern, it is like my spirit is all and nothing in one single moment... Not sure this makes much sense, but then again didn't start a blog to make any sense... Just another piece on the weird combination of topics on this blog...
The song at the moment is from my past Bush - Inflatable, at a given time of my life this song meant hope, actually hope at a time I felt hopeless, funny enough what started as a break with the past to look at a future, became a symbol of past destruction, something forever attached to one of those people I am sure I touched and who touched me, but yet is a mere memory of the past, a feeling that you get when you listen to songs that were soundtracks for episodes of your life... Episodes that define you, and yet seem to simply be there as a feeling not a real lesson learned kinda thing. At times like this I wonder if we are just what we feel and we find words and logic to justify simply that... And just like that the song has stop, time to navigate somewhere else...
Bryan Adams - Everything I do, well what to say for this one, from a time where I was learning what music was, were the lyrics started to make sense, when this concept of liking a girl came to past... The first kiss, the first heartbreak, my first girlfriend if you can call her that at a age of 11, and yet I did, and lived at the time thinking I felt the lyrics of this song... And yet, that is not really the case, but hey I was 11 give me a break... The memory of all of this under the most romantic umbrella and the first hint on how hard would be to find a match for such a moral kid, already full of himself and all knowledgeable about what relations should be and trust in these relationships. Long story short, she questioned my commitment because of a rumur started by a guy that liked her and I broke up with her on the spot, I know quite dramatic for an 11 year old, but I was kinda of a dreamer... Still am in many ways... And the song stop, time to navigate further and yet not sure I should share more...
Meredith Brooks - What would happen if we kissed, a song from a pivotal point in my life, mine and a couple of other people, a clear sliding doors moment, where I could see several paths in front of me... I wish I could say I made this choice completely alone, and in a way I did, but I have a clear notion that the slightest difference would have produced a different outcome... A time where I thought I knew what I wanted, and yet knew that it would destroy a lot of who I am... The simplicity of a kiss for others, has always had a different tool on me... I remembered this because I was a moral kid and I managed to remain a moral man regardless of circumstance... Despite of this not being clear for all in my life, but then again who is fishing for recognition... The guy with the blog... Well I only have a blog because this sort of thing would remain in past time only with me... And another song is pasted...
I will continue navigation but I am tired of writting for now... Not that anybody is listen... From me to the world, take care and catch you next time...
The song at the moment is from my past Bush - Inflatable, at a given time of my life this song meant hope, actually hope at a time I felt hopeless, funny enough what started as a break with the past to look at a future, became a symbol of past destruction, something forever attached to one of those people I am sure I touched and who touched me, but yet is a mere memory of the past, a feeling that you get when you listen to songs that were soundtracks for episodes of your life... Episodes that define you, and yet seem to simply be there as a feeling not a real lesson learned kinda thing. At times like this I wonder if we are just what we feel and we find words and logic to justify simply that... And just like that the song has stop, time to navigate somewhere else...
Bryan Adams - Everything I do, well what to say for this one, from a time where I was learning what music was, were the lyrics started to make sense, when this concept of liking a girl came to past... The first kiss, the first heartbreak, my first girlfriend if you can call her that at a age of 11, and yet I did, and lived at the time thinking I felt the lyrics of this song... And yet, that is not really the case, but hey I was 11 give me a break... The memory of all of this under the most romantic umbrella and the first hint on how hard would be to find a match for such a moral kid, already full of himself and all knowledgeable about what relations should be and trust in these relationships. Long story short, she questioned my commitment because of a rumur started by a guy that liked her and I broke up with her on the spot, I know quite dramatic for an 11 year old, but I was kinda of a dreamer... Still am in many ways... And the song stop, time to navigate further and yet not sure I should share more...
Meredith Brooks - What would happen if we kissed, a song from a pivotal point in my life, mine and a couple of other people, a clear sliding doors moment, where I could see several paths in front of me... I wish I could say I made this choice completely alone, and in a way I did, but I have a clear notion that the slightest difference would have produced a different outcome... A time where I thought I knew what I wanted, and yet knew that it would destroy a lot of who I am... The simplicity of a kiss for others, has always had a different tool on me... I remembered this because I was a moral kid and I managed to remain a moral man regardless of circumstance... Despite of this not being clear for all in my life, but then again who is fishing for recognition... The guy with the blog... Well I only have a blog because this sort of thing would remain in past time only with me... And another song is pasted...
I will continue navigation but I am tired of writting for now... Not that anybody is listen... From me to the world, take care and catch you next time...
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The forks in the road...
Life is funny at times, the things that you think are holding you back are simply excuses that you have to justify your inertia. The interesting thing is how much we hold back even without these excuses, we simply avoid thinking about it. The time to move on is at least for me clear, in the past it was clear and now it is again, and yet it gets harder and harder to actual perform changes. What we lived is like a weight that increases with time making change harder and harder, regardless of your overview...
Monday, May 16, 2011
Overdue update
Hello world, I've been meaning to post something for a while now, but the extra time I thought would have did not really materialized. So two big news, the main is I submitted my fucking thesis so now I am only waiting for the viva, and hopefully I will be a doctor, not the kind of doctor that helps people, but still a doctor :P
On another news, just got back from Cornwall where I did my Day Skipper practical course, which means I can chatter (rent) yachts, so I am licensed in a way for yacht skippering. Funny enough I though it would be a holiday like course, but it was more like a military regime week with a lot of exercises, a lot of repetition, which at the time made me wonder if it was worth it. Now in insight I think it built up my confidence and I can see myself easily taking a yacht out with no worries...
This is it for an update, there are a lot more stuff happening at the moment but I wanted to post first these major news...
On another news, just got back from Cornwall where I did my Day Skipper practical course, which means I can chatter (rent) yachts, so I am licensed in a way for yacht skippering. Funny enough I though it would be a holiday like course, but it was more like a military regime week with a lot of exercises, a lot of repetition, which at the time made me wonder if it was worth it. Now in insight I think it built up my confidence and I can see myself easily taking a yacht out with no worries...
This is it for an update, there are a lot more stuff happening at the moment but I wanted to post first these major news...
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
From the depth of darkness...
In the deepest darkness, even the smallest light will shine... Or something like that, a nice quote from one of my Geeky Tv series. I got reminded of it since I am literally in the dark with only my laptop, so not that small the light but still... Funny enough this is a darker light since it represents what I dread the most these days, but lets not go there... As usual a lot has happen but no real motivation to put in words, I mostly feel I blog is slowly fading away... Which I guess is related with how I feel... In any case I will not go down without a fight so I am sharing my thought from the morning... First let me set up the scene, yesterday went to bed at 5 AM and woke up at 8. Well maybe 8 30 :P can't resist the dammed snooze button ( the devilish invention :P ).
As you can imagine I was tired and I was about to have a day of meetings, which I must say make the day feel pointless and tiring... But I leave my thoughts about meetings for another day... Funny enough I charged my MP3 for going swimming in the weekend and add this year Christmas selection ( this year I did not post it here, but hey if you want it ask :P ) so today I used it instead of the mobile for music. This actually made my day, the fact that I started the day with the stupidest corniest happy song, that I still have in my brain right now... I would share but I am afraid to spread this disease :P
And the moral, well it is the little things that make up life, be on the lookout for them or risk not living ;)
As you can imagine I was tired and I was about to have a day of meetings, which I must say make the day feel pointless and tiring... But I leave my thoughts about meetings for another day... Funny enough I charged my MP3 for going swimming in the weekend and add this year Christmas selection ( this year I did not post it here, but hey if you want it ask :P ) so today I used it instead of the mobile for music. This actually made my day, the fact that I started the day with the stupidest corniest happy song, that I still have in my brain right now... I would share but I am afraid to spread this disease :P
And the moral, well it is the little things that make up life, be on the lookout for them or risk not living ;)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
From the land of small duvets....
Long time no see, it is funny how time flies. Well after a series of bad news in conjunction with a set of bad circumstances, where Murphy was the key narrator (yes, the one from all the "nice" laws) I didn't feel let's say too motivated to write here. In addition to the fact that I had to stop writing my thesis for a while (should be able to restart in a couple of weeks). Anyway that is on the background, the usual apologies for my absence, so wide open internet, my dear routers and servers that allow my words to stay on for posterity, I am deeply sorry. As for all the others, well either you know me and I suggest picking up a phone, or you live in the north pole and come out once a day for the joy of little children all over the world. In either case, I believe the big numbers for my apology is the technology that supports my blog, so here you are a series of random characters for you to store.
Well I am in the land of small duvets, for a week now, and will be here for the following 2, and you might be asking yourselves where is the land of small duvets, and more importantly what the f*ck is he talking about ( notice how nice I am by not writing fuck :P). So I get to the hotel, check in, the usual bullshit form, etc. Then go to my room again normal room, the bed is somewhere in between a single and a double, which is fine. The duvet was folded on top of the bed so you don't realise it at first, but when I when to cover myself I realised it the duvet is smaller than the bed, weird I thought, in fact it is smaller even if I am not under it. This might seem like no big deal but I move at night so you have space in the bed to move but you get out of the duvet, get cold, wake up... You see the problem. So the next day I casually introduced the topic to some locals(for those who don't know me, casual is my middle name, followed by the PI (political incorrect) :P ) and found out it is normal here, imagine that. I immediately thought these guys are genius they save on a third of the fabric :P. The locals where like, yes we did notice that when we go other places the duvet is bigger but never made much of it... How weird is that?
In their defence it is my god knows time in this place, I noticed it before but my humour did not made me do much of it either. So I guess my humour is quite affected these days...
Anyhow, I am going under the duvet know and be very still so not to be could, changed hotel and the heating on this one is not that strong, and smaller bed, and guess what? even smaller duvet... Ridiculous... :P
P.S.- I bet you can't guess where I am, unless you already know... :P
Well I am in the land of small duvets, for a week now, and will be here for the following 2, and you might be asking yourselves where is the land of small duvets, and more importantly what the f*ck is he talking about ( notice how nice I am by not writing fuck :P). So I get to the hotel, check in, the usual bullshit form, etc. Then go to my room again normal room, the bed is somewhere in between a single and a double, which is fine. The duvet was folded on top of the bed so you don't realise it at first, but when I when to cover myself I realised it the duvet is smaller than the bed, weird I thought, in fact it is smaller even if I am not under it. This might seem like no big deal but I move at night so you have space in the bed to move but you get out of the duvet, get cold, wake up... You see the problem. So the next day I casually introduced the topic to some locals(for those who don't know me, casual is my middle name, followed by the PI (political incorrect) :P ) and found out it is normal here, imagine that. I immediately thought these guys are genius they save on a third of the fabric :P. The locals where like, yes we did notice that when we go other places the duvet is bigger but never made much of it... How weird is that?
In their defence it is my god knows time in this place, I noticed it before but my humour did not made me do much of it either. So I guess my humour is quite affected these days...
Anyhow, I am going under the duvet know and be very still so not to be could, changed hotel and the heating on this one is not that strong, and smaller bed, and guess what? even smaller duvet... Ridiculous... :P
P.S.- I bet you can't guess where I am, unless you already know... :P
Monday, November 22, 2010
The sadness within...
There is a lurking sadness within us, the potential to feel down, some might say the dark potential of feeling down... It is an intrinsic part of who we are, in one way or the other, on some more evident than in others... Despite its dark and bad connotations, people's sadness is one of the biggest sources of inspiration, just think about how many sad songs have touch you in one form or another, and think about how many happy songs do you actually know... Sadness is bad, and yet we hold some sort of fascination for it, it is like it is something we don't like feeling but like staring at... We understand its beauty when we don't feel it, and when we do feel it? Well, then it consumes us... Old myths come to mind, the guy that flu too close to the sun... In reality we normally jump in and out of sadness, not in a controlled manor, but it is like there is on most of us a balance of how much we endure the sadness before we jump out of it... We find ways to comfort ourselves in it, normally using the results of sadness on others (music, poems, films...)... Sadness is something you feel at your core, it is always there, but sometimes it simply cannot be ignored... Or... Or...
Sadness is a modern invention for people with too much time to think about things that are simple... In fact depression is a form of permanent sadness only present to those who don't really have to fight for their survival... At the end of the day, you have within what you are, and nowadays can anybody that has access to this blog really say they are not the result of their society... Can anybody say beyond a reasonable doubt that they are not a mere result of modern times, modern living, modern cravings... We are what we choose to be, however that choice is very driven, and thus not really a choice... In the end I am one of these mere results, we the need to think I am special in some way or form, and thus feel the need to go to my sadness within to inspire the worst states where I come up with dark shit like this, that may or not make sense... Well at least I can write from the dark places in my head, good or bad, that is something....
Sadness is a modern invention for people with too much time to think about things that are simple... In fact depression is a form of permanent sadness only present to those who don't really have to fight for their survival... At the end of the day, you have within what you are, and nowadays can anybody that has access to this blog really say they are not the result of their society... Can anybody say beyond a reasonable doubt that they are not a mere result of modern times, modern living, modern cravings... We are what we choose to be, however that choice is very driven, and thus not really a choice... In the end I am one of these mere results, we the need to think I am special in some way or form, and thus feel the need to go to my sadness within to inspire the worst states where I come up with dark shit like this, that may or not make sense... Well at least I can write from the dark places in my head, good or bad, that is something....
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