Well two posts in one day seems strange, but I wanted to talk about this and it wasn't really related with the previous post, so a new post is my found solution.
I want to go through some words with you, feeling up for it? Well if not stop now ;P
When I was a young boy I tried to listen
And I wanna feel like that,
Little white shadows blink and miss them
Part of a system, I am
When I was a kid I used to look around me, more than listening I observed, I felt a bit like the odd one out, as a strange body in a blood stream where all bodies made sense, all had a purpose... The need for a purpose is a great part of who we are, or at least that is what I think. The need to feel it, not just know it, is what in fact makes us human, or my definition of human anyway... Don't get me wrong feeling is fundamentally human, however showing these feelings is strictly related to personality ;)
Time at the time seemed like a surreal concept for me, things and events made it so for me. All things that happen where radical, and erratic, thus I making me feel more out of place... However I was part of it...
If you ever feel like something's missing
Things you'll never understand,
Little white shadows sparkle and glisten,
Part of a system, a plan
And you think, and you reason, and you find answers and justifications for things, maybe stuff is missing, maybe you are simple too young to understand, I mean that was what people told me as answers too more complex questions... But was I really to young to understand, or simply too young to grasp all that was happening, all I need to capture and see... Could the master plan simply be elusive for a kid...
All this noise I'm waking up
All this space I'm taking up
All this sound is breaking up
The randomness of things that disturbed me... The questions, and questions, lack of reasons, the lack of insight...
Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state
The "what ifs..." in my thought process, the scenarios, the possibilities, is there something I want? Perhaps I will realise it once I get it, or not, perhaps the answers is what I want, and time will give them to me...
Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it you'll mean it
And when you find it you'll keep it
In a permanent state, a permanent state
Maybe is the key word, it provides hope for the hopeless, provides possibilities for those who have none, but mainly the possibility for the dream of leaving this permanent state of not belonging...
When I was a young boy I tried to listen,
Don't you wanna feel like that?
You're part of the human race
All of the stars in the outer space,
Part of a system, a plan
All this noise I'm waking up
All this space I'm taking up
I cannot hear you're breaking up
Woaaooh
Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state
Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it you'll mean it
And when you find it you'll keep it
In a permanent state, a permanent state
Swimmin' on a sea of faces
The tide of the human races, oh
An answer now is what I need
I see it in the new sun rising and
See it break on your horizon, oh
Come on love, stay with me
When I was a young boy... What about now? I am still that boy, wiser without wisdom, older without ageing (in my mind), truer without the truth, a real part of the system for other kids and yet still not belonging... Is this the truth? The system is simply the combination of non belonging parts together making it seem whole, look whole, a system made by individual humans that don't feel like they belong and yet form this completeness viewed from a kids eyes. The perfection of the imperfect joined together... Just something to think about...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Lesson on focusing...
Hello again, seems like every time I write here I need to apologise for the lack of posts, and while I always mean it, it seems I can't break the cycle of not writing.
The fact that I am at the end of my third year as a PhD student does help explain this, how could I lose time writing here, when I am having troubles writing for my PhD. This brings me to the point of this post, ever felt like you need to work but can't motivate yourself to do so? You sit in front of the computer and nothing comes out, you find excuses not to do it, talk with colleagues, read online news, search for random things, play games, in a word you procrastinate... Well if you relate to this I found a way to deal with it.
Go to a public place (I use Starbucks, but any coffee place should work ;)), no computer, just your required reading material, blank paper and something to write with. Force yourself to stay there, you will feel alone in a crowd, once this feeling sinks in you become aware that you are there doing nothing, thus you become self concious that other people might find that strange. I mean the Starbucks I use usually has a lot of couples there, if I don't work, well I feel like a stalker, and probably look like one :P. So I work, it is a way to try and force yourself to focus and to work, doesn't do wonders for motivation, but hey at least you work ;).
The fact that I am at the end of my third year as a PhD student does help explain this, how could I lose time writing here, when I am having troubles writing for my PhD. This brings me to the point of this post, ever felt like you need to work but can't motivate yourself to do so? You sit in front of the computer and nothing comes out, you find excuses not to do it, talk with colleagues, read online news, search for random things, play games, in a word you procrastinate... Well if you relate to this I found a way to deal with it.
Go to a public place (I use Starbucks, but any coffee place should work ;)), no computer, just your required reading material, blank paper and something to write with. Force yourself to stay there, you will feel alone in a crowd, once this feeling sinks in you become aware that you are there doing nothing, thus you become self concious that other people might find that strange. I mean the Starbucks I use usually has a lot of couples there, if I don't work, well I feel like a stalker, and probably look like one :P. So I work, it is a way to try and force yourself to focus and to work, doesn't do wonders for motivation, but hey at least you work ;).
Thursday, July 23, 2009
A late Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince movie review...
Quite a long post title, I wanted to write something, but nothing too insightful...
So for those freaks who don't know Harry Potter, well what planet are you on? This leads me to my raw classification of people within the Harry Potter realm.
The freaks who don't even know what it is...
The ones that heard about it, but just disregard it as another strange social following phenomenon...
The ones that heard about it, but like to think they are different so of course they don't give it the time of day...
I could go on, there are several sub types of these people, however I think it is a enough to get the picture.
The ones that watched one or more movies, but don't really see the interest...(at least gave it a chance these... let's say strange minds :P)
The ones who kinda like it and follow the movies, however can't be bother to read the book...
The ones that never care, watched the first movie simply to see what the fuzz was about, thought it was okish, had a lot of free time on their hand after the movie, stop in a book shop, read a bit of the second book, took it home, 2 days latter came for the 3rd, and a couple of days latter for the 4th, and then waited over a year for the 5th, and then 6th, then 7th. Waited in line at midnight at the day of the release....(people like ME :P)
The core fans, started with the books, and loved them....
I could go on but it would be a raw classification :P.
I am a movie person, I normally keep clear of the books, usually the book is better than the movie, although there are some exceptions, or at leas movies that work better than the book. In the case of Harry Potter the 3rd movie is clearly the best one, and is also the best adaptation, meaning follows the book best...
This is the thing, I don't see the movie as a book fan, for example Interview with a Vampire the movie is good, the book is also good, but the story is quite different. This is fine, on Harry however there is a tendency to stick to the book, which is quite impossible, so you don't fully understand the movie without the book. The 3rd is the exception.
In the Half Blood Prince, the movie shouldn't eve have that title considering the pour explanation for why it is so. More than half the book is about this fact, in the movie 3 minutes at most... The movie tells bits and pieces of stuff that you kinda get, but only fully understand with the book. It is also a bit scattered doesn't follow a flow. As a movie it is average, nothing special, and in my opinion gives away too clearly the 7th book. Things are more black and white in the movie, the book is more hazy and dark, as is the 3rd movie....
So all in all, watchable movie, but very pour in content and plot...
So for those freaks who don't know Harry Potter, well what planet are you on? This leads me to my raw classification of people within the Harry Potter realm.
The freaks who don't even know what it is...
The ones that heard about it, but just disregard it as another strange social following phenomenon...
The ones that heard about it, but like to think they are different so of course they don't give it the time of day...
I could go on, there are several sub types of these people, however I think it is a enough to get the picture.
The ones that watched one or more movies, but don't really see the interest...(at least gave it a chance these... let's say strange minds :P)
The ones who kinda like it and follow the movies, however can't be bother to read the book...
The ones that never care, watched the first movie simply to see what the fuzz was about, thought it was okish, had a lot of free time on their hand after the movie, stop in a book shop, read a bit of the second book, took it home, 2 days latter came for the 3rd, and a couple of days latter for the 4th, and then waited over a year for the 5th, and then 6th, then 7th. Waited in line at midnight at the day of the release....(people like ME :P)
The core fans, started with the books, and loved them....
I could go on but it would be a raw classification :P.
I am a movie person, I normally keep clear of the books, usually the book is better than the movie, although there are some exceptions, or at leas movies that work better than the book. In the case of Harry Potter the 3rd movie is clearly the best one, and is also the best adaptation, meaning follows the book best...
This is the thing, I don't see the movie as a book fan, for example Interview with a Vampire the movie is good, the book is also good, but the story is quite different. This is fine, on Harry however there is a tendency to stick to the book, which is quite impossible, so you don't fully understand the movie without the book. The 3rd is the exception.
In the Half Blood Prince, the movie shouldn't eve have that title considering the pour explanation for why it is so. More than half the book is about this fact, in the movie 3 minutes at most... The movie tells bits and pieces of stuff that you kinda get, but only fully understand with the book. It is also a bit scattered doesn't follow a flow. As a movie it is average, nothing special, and in my opinion gives away too clearly the 7th book. Things are more black and white in the movie, the book is more hazy and dark, as is the 3rd movie....
So all in all, watchable movie, but very pour in content and plot...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The surprise at Christmas... Late post...
So as promised ages ago, here is my Christmas surprise. Some background knowledge for those who aren't Portuguese. It is an old tradition of University students, when they finish, to burn their ribbons, actually, bless then and burn them... But i am getting off track. The ribbons are different colors, namely your university colour, your degree colour, and some special ones, for girlfriend and family, namely red and white. So it is tradition to give these ribbons to friends and family to write their thoughts and wishes for you. Then you would take the ribbons put then into a special folder and take them to the ceremony where they are blessed. Afterwards, there is a party that is to "burn the ribbons", a party for the next stage of your life. You don't really burn the ribbons, at least not the ones that people wrote. Now for my story, for years i got these bloody ribbons where I had to write stuff, and don't get fooled by the blog, I am not a writing person :P. Obviously, I didn't follow this tradition, didn't want to put the people through it, and mostly didn't want to put myself through it. So apparently my complaining about it, when i got a ribbon to write for a friend gave her the idea, since i said maybe one day I'll make you write one so you know how hard it is... Of course this was ironic, people don't get irony nowadays :P...
One last thing before the plot, because I am a control freak it is hard to keep stuff off my radar...
The plot:
So two of my best friend decided to join forces to give me a Christmas present... The folder with all the ribbons. It may seem easy, but my friends don't all know each other, so orchestrating something like this without my knowledge was hard enough. The fact that I am not in Portugal worked to their advantage, however they managed to get people from the UK to write the ribbons. That was something, since they knew nobody in the UK. Let's take a moment to thank the social networks that allow then to contact my girlfriend behind my back. Yes, they didn't know each other at the time. So all plotted and kept their mouth shut... And the result is my surprise in these videos. There are two because both wanted to record the moment to share with some of their fellow conspirators... And now the world can see it, enjoy ;P
Irina's:
Joana's:
Did you notice my surprise to the names...
One last thing before the plot, because I am a control freak it is hard to keep stuff off my radar...
The plot:
So two of my best friend decided to join forces to give me a Christmas present... The folder with all the ribbons. It may seem easy, but my friends don't all know each other, so orchestrating something like this without my knowledge was hard enough. The fact that I am not in Portugal worked to their advantage, however they managed to get people from the UK to write the ribbons. That was something, since they knew nobody in the UK. Let's take a moment to thank the social networks that allow then to contact my girlfriend behind my back. Yes, they didn't know each other at the time. So all plotted and kept their mouth shut... And the result is my surprise in these videos. There are two because both wanted to record the moment to share with some of their fellow conspirators... And now the world can see it, enjoy ;P
Irina's:
Joana's:
Did you notice my surprise to the names...
Friday, July 17, 2009
Back from holiday and got my Prince 2 Foundation certificate...
Hello world, so the plan to write more on the blog fell through, that will teach me on promises :P. The time in Portugal was full of topics but lack of time so.... After that was in Mallorca, no computer so just stories ;P.
Got back last Sunday and been a bit busy with the Prince 2 shit, did the exam yesterday, passed with flying colour so that is done.
Now back to the real PhD life, abstract for another conference, it seems I am being haunted by conferences, hopefully it is the last paper for a big while. On the upside it is just an abstract for now, the paper is due in October and a lot of watter will go under the bridge before that.
Write that is a sum update, I can't really force myself to write anything else, this was already a bit hard to write, my mood for sharing is not at all time high lets say... However not promising but, a bigger post will come soon...
Got back last Sunday and been a bit busy with the Prince 2 shit, did the exam yesterday, passed with flying colour so that is done.
Now back to the real PhD life, abstract for another conference, it seems I am being haunted by conferences, hopefully it is the last paper for a big while. On the upside it is just an abstract for now, the paper is due in October and a lot of watter will go under the bridge before that.
Write that is a sum update, I can't really force myself to write anything else, this was already a bit hard to write, my mood for sharing is not at all time high lets say... However not promising but, a bigger post will come soon...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I'm Back and with a question :P
Hey, so long time no see... I want to change that at least for a two weeks :P
So a lot has been happening, a lot of posts to write... It is funny how they simply pile up, in my Portuguese trip next week, I'll try to post as much as i can, some on people, life, politics, maths, papers... a lot of nothings :P.
So today a very light post, just finished with another paper, on another interesting topic, which I'll post latter, but today I want to raise a simple question...
Does alcohol make you forget? Meaning do you do things that you forget? And don't take this the wrong way, I mean we forget things even when we are not drunk, so I mean more things. There is no question that your senses are impaired when drunk, but do you physically forget things you did? Note that passed out does not count :P
So you are aware, but very drunk, do you forget things? or do you just wish to? or do you forget just because it is painful to remember? My knowledge till today is that you don't forget, sometimes it is simply easier to say you do... I don't drink, so I only have my analyses with other to guide my results, people have a tendency to know a lot about things they claim to have forgotten, others simply admit it when confronted, so what do you think? Feel free to express your view, I would like to have extra inputs on this...
In another note, had difficulties with a part of a lyric so here it is a song and lyric that is catchy, although you wish it wasn't :P
So a lot has been happening, a lot of posts to write... It is funny how they simply pile up, in my Portuguese trip next week, I'll try to post as much as i can, some on people, life, politics, maths, papers... a lot of nothings :P.
So today a very light post, just finished with another paper, on another interesting topic, which I'll post latter, but today I want to raise a simple question...
Does alcohol make you forget? Meaning do you do things that you forget? And don't take this the wrong way, I mean we forget things even when we are not drunk, so I mean more things. There is no question that your senses are impaired when drunk, but do you physically forget things you did? Note that passed out does not count :P
So you are aware, but very drunk, do you forget things? or do you just wish to? or do you forget just because it is painful to remember? My knowledge till today is that you don't forget, sometimes it is simply easier to say you do... I don't drink, so I only have my analyses with other to guide my results, people have a tendency to know a lot about things they claim to have forgotten, others simply admit it when confronted, so what do you think? Feel free to express your view, I would like to have extra inputs on this...
In another note, had difficulties with a part of a lyric so here it is a song and lyric that is catchy, although you wish it wasn't :P
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Being Portuguese...
So today I got a break from my thoughts about an hour and a half. The Portugal vs Albania was on. The thing is despite the last minute victory, and the suffering, and everything, I need to say something. Football is one of the modern ways of clashes between countries, we have evolve from war, or at least we like to think so. But we still have the need to protect our colors and be proud of our roots, defend them... As such I want to say that I am behind Portugal regardless, however I don't support all Portuguese people, people are different, that is a simple and universal statement... As such we might disagree about the best way to bring Portugal forward. This is the thing, for me the coach of Portugal, despite being a smart, intelligent professor is not the best coach, I can't imagine this guy passing passion to is wife, let alone to a football team... Victory in war is based on strategy from the generals but also on the heart of the colonel, majors, sargents, lieutenant, etc. These officers need to pass the passion to the soldiers, since there is no victory without the confidence to win, even if unrealistic. This is the thing the current coach, is not a leader of men, he is a theoretic, a overviewer, a planner, but not a doer, a executor. This is a clear thing for anybody to see...
This is actually the same with the PM of the UK, Gordon brown is not a leader of people, and the thing is a leader should understand a it of everything, get advice from the best, but at the end of the day they need to find a way to pass the message to the people, and that by itself is a special skill. There is no shame in not being a leader of men, my question is why don't these smart people admit what they are, and use their skill set to help? I mean don't we all want the same thing? Or is their pride too big?
Well from my perspective they have no pride, because honestly if people don't want you why would you make a point to stay? To prove them wrong? Well if they are wrong if you leave that would be proven, seriously I have a issue with people clinging to power, simply don't get it... If you are smart you see the logic, so... Like someone said sometimes "no good can come of it", for my national team, we won but honestly with this coach, no good can come of it...
P.S.- If I am wrong I will gladly admit it, if not, well it doesn't leave this blog anyway. Like I said people are different, I guess that is the answer to all my questions :P
This is actually the same with the PM of the UK, Gordon brown is not a leader of people, and the thing is a leader should understand a it of everything, get advice from the best, but at the end of the day they need to find a way to pass the message to the people, and that by itself is a special skill. There is no shame in not being a leader of men, my question is why don't these smart people admit what they are, and use their skill set to help? I mean don't we all want the same thing? Or is their pride too big?
Well from my perspective they have no pride, because honestly if people don't want you why would you make a point to stay? To prove them wrong? Well if they are wrong if you leave that would be proven, seriously I have a issue with people clinging to power, simply don't get it... If you are smart you see the logic, so... Like someone said sometimes "no good can come of it", for my national team, we won but honestly with this coach, no good can come of it...
P.S.- If I am wrong I will gladly admit it, if not, well it doesn't leave this blog anyway. Like I said people are different, I guess that is the answer to all my questions :P
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