Today I am divided between a trivial post and a deep post (if I can be deep). If I went for the moment I would go for deep, yet there is a voice inside of me telling me off on it, so I’ll go for the trivial and see how much I get done, regardless I promises I post on this because its been match by perfect melodies that I wish to share, perhaps I will still on this post, no words just the sound... perhaps after a song I’ve been meaning to put in, and thought I would today... Anyway I am stalling...
Today I left the house late, thus I walked to the bus station. On my way I passed something that is quite common in the UK which I can't seem to get used to. The parents of small kids with leaches on them, walking them like dogs, honestly like dogs, how fucking demeaning is this? The kids will be damaged for life, not that way and they pull like dogs. Am I the only one that finds this simply wrong?
My mind was wondering on this, and the implications for the kids, when suddenly I see another quite common thing in the UK, a teenage mother with 2 kids, like 16 year old with 2 kids, what are these people thinking? In the 21st century how can this happen? Honestly their life is seriously compromised, I mean fuck!!
Anyways two reality checks, quite interesting way to start the morning... And my original thoughts backed by this song made more sense...
I look around me
But all I seem to see
It's people going nowhere
Expecting sympathy
It’s like we’re going through the emotions
Of the scripted destiny
Tell me where’s our inspiration
If life won’t wait
I guess it’s up to me
Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We won't come back, the world is coming out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
Procrastination running circles in my head
While you sit there contemplating you’ll wind up left for dead (left for dead)
Life it’s what happens
While you’re busy making your excuses
Another day, another casualty
But that won’t happen to me
Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We won't come back, the world is coming out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m goooone
When I’m gooone
Let’s go…!
Won’t look back
When I say goodbye
We’re gonna leave this world behind me
Gonna take what’s mine tonight
‘cause every wasted day
Becomes a wasted chance
You’re gonna wake up feeling sorry
‘cause life won’t wait
I guess it’s up to you
Whoahh
No we’re not gonna waste another moment in this town
Whoahh
We won't come back, the world is coming out
Whoahh
Leave the past in the past gonna find the future
And misery loves company
Well so long
You’ll miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
I think the post looks good without the other part, so not so torn :P, regardless the next two days I’ll do very small posts which make perfect opportunities to share the song that I wanted to share. For now this one says more than it seems, it is quite good, at least for me and my world of metaphors ;)...
Monday, April 7, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Revolt
Right today I was going to talk about being less online, and so on... BUT BENFICA PLAYED...
I feel too cheated, I heart is pumping like mad, a great game, they played awesome, which by the way I admit we haven't done so in a while. BUT FUCK 3 clear penalties, one penalty against that didn't exist, the keeper got it so it wasn't that big the mistake.
Honestly it's like the referee just punch me, and the fucking other team they were kicking the players not the ball, fuck...
I feel like shit, and yes I am a boy that cares about football, fuck haven't watch a game live in a while, today I decided to watch it and ...
DEPRESSION, tomorrow I’ll be so depressed, now I am fucking angry, bahhhh...
Anyway congratulations to Benfica players you made me proud today, never gave up, even though they didn't win, for me they deserved the shirts that they had, like I heard our coach just say, team should be proud, and the others should feel the shame that this game was, a disgrace to football...
BENFICA FOREVER, SOU BENFICA (I AM BENFICA)
Sorry for those who don't understand Portuguese, but chances are you wouldn't understand anyway...
I feel too cheated, I heart is pumping like mad, a great game, they played awesome, which by the way I admit we haven't done so in a while. BUT FUCK 3 clear penalties, one penalty against that didn't exist, the keeper got it so it wasn't that big the mistake.
Honestly it's like the referee just punch me, and the fucking other team they were kicking the players not the ball, fuck...
I feel like shit, and yes I am a boy that cares about football, fuck haven't watch a game live in a while, today I decided to watch it and ...
DEPRESSION, tomorrow I’ll be so depressed, now I am fucking angry, bahhhh...
Anyway congratulations to Benfica players you made me proud today, never gave up, even though they didn't win, for me they deserved the shirts that they had, like I heard our coach just say, team should be proud, and the others should feel the shame that this game was, a disgrace to football...
BENFICA FOREVER, SOU BENFICA (I AM BENFICA)
Sorry for those who don't understand Portuguese, but chances are you wouldn't understand anyway...
if....
I wrote a huge text which I realized that it was simply whining on my part, so not today, thus I deleted it, I won't say anything that I intent to do or not do, I’ll go back to my old self and talk about things after they've been digested, nobody is paying attention anyway...
Found a song that I have to put in the CD, and since two of its songs are the same, simply different versions, I’ll probably include it...
"The void is most felt in the absence of what's known" my sentence of the day, weird shit sometimes comes to my mind, lets see if I can stop that...
Here the song that I have to include with an OC theme, another tribute or maybe something more, enjoy...
During my search for a video this one seems... nevermind just watch and listen...
Found a song that I have to put in the CD, and since two of its songs are the same, simply different versions, I’ll probably include it...
"The void is most felt in the absence of what's known" my sentence of the day, weird shit sometimes comes to my mind, lets see if I can stop that...
Here the song that I have to include with an OC theme, another tribute or maybe something more, enjoy...
During my search for a video this one seems... nevermind just watch and listen...
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Tell me why....
Instead of more words simply a beat...
Also serves as a tribute to the great anime Naruto, one of many to come...
Also serves as a tribute to the great anime Naruto, one of many to come...
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Wise Brother
Well the first topic that came to mind was big brother, but I didn't want the whole connotations of all that expression, perhaps I should have gone for responsible brother, but this is more about being wise all around than really simply responsible.
Have you heard about the expression "pay it forward"? Well for those who can, you should...
The thing I am not that nice of a person, or I am not nice when I can be, I am nice when I choose to be. It isn't as bad as it sounds since I am nice to all the ones who matter to me, just can be hypocritical about it and say I do the same to all. Regardless of this some people get my, lets say insight due to others for one reason or another some don't deserve if not because of others. That been said I do realize that it does more harm than good not to help in certain situations, but unfortunately I can't go against my will, or don't want to go against it :P.
Sometimes the illusion that the world is clear to all sets in to our minds, it is so clear how things are in our mind that we can't even consider that others might not have the ability to see even a glimpse of it. For me the gift of insight is a gift and a curse, at least applied in my life, yet it is quite useful for others.
People have a tendency to look only to what is in front of them, which they should do in combination with looking ahead. I won’t be hypocritical on this, at times we can only see what is in front of us, you feel trapped in the cycles of thoughts that reach no conclusions and simply serve to frustrate and depress. This is something that happens to all, including me, the question is what to do about it? Think about it if the thoughts are always the same, isn't that a hint you need a new view? Like one of my favorite all time movies stated something’s you need to change your physical viewpoint to perceive that reality is not a static thing.
The fear of thinking steps in right? The fear of actually having to face your life, not just the day to day reality, the face off between you and your perspective of yourself. No, let's not think, after all if we don't it doesn't really exist right? Wrong, it is like when you know something, but it is not true until it has been said... Honestly PEOPLE FUCKING GROW UP... Fear is part of life, especially fear of failing, the thing is what if you fail? If you are afraid you can't possibility think less of yourself, thus the only way is up... I do realize this is quite more complex especially for complex people like me, or simple, like I said perspective does make a huge difference.
I feel like I should stop talking but I want to make one last point.
If you know you can't deal with it, and know someone else can do it for you, or at least help a lot, WHY DON'T YOU ASK FOR HELP? What the fuck is it with this stupidity of trying to deal with things by yourself, when you know you can't? I know that the people that know me are now smiling, probably thinking you do the same, the thing is I don't. Don't believe me? Think about it, have I ever hesitated to ask for your help when I needed it? One thing is to try and solve things by yourself, another is to be an idiot and not recognize we all need help from time to time. I don't ask if I don't think people can help, but if I know they can... This is why I get pissed off at people when I find out by myself their problems (or by extracting the problems by force from them) and realizing that they didn't come to me, when clearly I could have done something....
Anyways enough for today, good night and I do hope this post helps people to think a bit more about things...
Have you heard about the expression "pay it forward"? Well for those who can, you should...
The thing I am not that nice of a person, or I am not nice when I can be, I am nice when I choose to be. It isn't as bad as it sounds since I am nice to all the ones who matter to me, just can be hypocritical about it and say I do the same to all. Regardless of this some people get my, lets say insight due to others for one reason or another some don't deserve if not because of others. That been said I do realize that it does more harm than good not to help in certain situations, but unfortunately I can't go against my will, or don't want to go against it :P.
Sometimes the illusion that the world is clear to all sets in to our minds, it is so clear how things are in our mind that we can't even consider that others might not have the ability to see even a glimpse of it. For me the gift of insight is a gift and a curse, at least applied in my life, yet it is quite useful for others.
People have a tendency to look only to what is in front of them, which they should do in combination with looking ahead. I won’t be hypocritical on this, at times we can only see what is in front of us, you feel trapped in the cycles of thoughts that reach no conclusions and simply serve to frustrate and depress. This is something that happens to all, including me, the question is what to do about it? Think about it if the thoughts are always the same, isn't that a hint you need a new view? Like one of my favorite all time movies stated something’s you need to change your physical viewpoint to perceive that reality is not a static thing.
The fear of thinking steps in right? The fear of actually having to face your life, not just the day to day reality, the face off between you and your perspective of yourself. No, let's not think, after all if we don't it doesn't really exist right? Wrong, it is like when you know something, but it is not true until it has been said... Honestly PEOPLE FUCKING GROW UP... Fear is part of life, especially fear of failing, the thing is what if you fail? If you are afraid you can't possibility think less of yourself, thus the only way is up... I do realize this is quite more complex especially for complex people like me, or simple, like I said perspective does make a huge difference.
I feel like I should stop talking but I want to make one last point.
If you know you can't deal with it, and know someone else can do it for you, or at least help a lot, WHY DON'T YOU ASK FOR HELP? What the fuck is it with this stupidity of trying to deal with things by yourself, when you know you can't? I know that the people that know me are now smiling, probably thinking you do the same, the thing is I don't. Don't believe me? Think about it, have I ever hesitated to ask for your help when I needed it? One thing is to try and solve things by yourself, another is to be an idiot and not recognize we all need help from time to time. I don't ask if I don't think people can help, but if I know they can... This is why I get pissed off at people when I find out by myself their problems (or by extracting the problems by force from them) and realizing that they didn't come to me, when clearly I could have done something....
Anyways enough for today, good night and I do hope this post helps people to think a bit more about things...
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Th Book of Disquiet
"Tedium is not the disease of being bored because there's nothing to do, but the more serious disease of feeling that there's nothing worth doing. This means that the more there is to do, the more tedium one will feel."
"In order to create, I destroyed myself; I have externalized so much of my inner life that even inside I now exist only externally."
"My life is so sad, and I don't even think of weeping over it; my days are so false, and I don't even dream of trying to change them."
"I prefer to fail having known the beauty of flowers than to triumph in a wilderness, for triumph is the blindness of the soul left alone with its worthlessness."
"What I most of all feel is weariness, and the disquiet that is its twin when the weariness has no reason to exist but to exist. I dread the gestures I have to make and am intellectually shy about the word I have to speak. Everything strikes me in advance as futile."
"Everything is complex for those who think, and no doubt thought itself takes delight in making things yet more complex. But those who think need to justofy their abdication with a vast programme of understanding, which they set forth - like liars their explanations - with heaps of exagerated detail that eventually reveal, once the earth is swept away, the lying root.
Everything is complex, or I'm the one who's complex. But at any rate it doesn't matter, because at any rate nothing matters. All of this, all these considerations that have strayed off the broad highway, vegetate in the gardens of excluded gods like climbing plants detached from their walls. Ans on this night as I conclude these inconclusive considerations, I smile at the vital irony which makes them appear in the human soul that was already, even before there were stars, an orphan of Fate's grand purposes."
For the people who don't know it, well i think this might inspire you to read this very heavy for the soul book from one of Portugal's greatest writters Fernando Pessoa...
"In order to create, I destroyed myself; I have externalized so much of my inner life that even inside I now exist only externally."
"My life is so sad, and I don't even think of weeping over it; my days are so false, and I don't even dream of trying to change them."
"I prefer to fail having known the beauty of flowers than to triumph in a wilderness, for triumph is the blindness of the soul left alone with its worthlessness."
"What I most of all feel is weariness, and the disquiet that is its twin when the weariness has no reason to exist but to exist. I dread the gestures I have to make and am intellectually shy about the word I have to speak. Everything strikes me in advance as futile."
"Everything is complex for those who think, and no doubt thought itself takes delight in making things yet more complex. But those who think need to justofy their abdication with a vast programme of understanding, which they set forth - like liars their explanations - with heaps of exagerated detail that eventually reveal, once the earth is swept away, the lying root.
Everything is complex, or I'm the one who's complex. But at any rate it doesn't matter, because at any rate nothing matters. All of this, all these considerations that have strayed off the broad highway, vegetate in the gardens of excluded gods like climbing plants detached from their walls. Ans on this night as I conclude these inconclusive considerations, I smile at the vital irony which makes them appear in the human soul that was already, even before there were stars, an orphan of Fate's grand purposes."
For the people who don't know it, well i think this might inspire you to read this very heavy for the soul book from one of Portugal's greatest writters Fernando Pessoa...
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Solitude
Today I managed to join the too extra from yesterday together due to let's say interesting conversation about one of the topics. I have to note that today I would definitely talk about Tibet since it was a very recurrent topic throughout the day, but... :P
Some people are afraid to be alone, the thought alone is just unbearable. Why this is? Well it is really not the point for today, but rather the mechanisms people construct to deal with this. The most comm. one is getting a lot of so called "friends", those who know me understand why I used the quote on the word, who are so friendly it itches, the sort of people that would say "I am a great friend but on that he was completely wrong". Perhaps I should give the idea, imagine you cheat on your girlfriend, and your "friends" find out about it and say that, because friends would say I am sure he has his reasons and it is probably not his fault. How many friends like that do you have? I have a couple so lucky me... Regardless of this, since I drifting out of the topic, people surround themselves with people that are beneath them, intellectually, socially, etc, for a guarantee of company, it is better to pretend to have a life than not have one at all... NO FUCKING WAY, after a while you can't even recognize yourself and separate who you are from who you hang out with, you corrupt yourself because a stupid fear... Life is short, I know a cliché, butt it is, how much time can you lose around people you know are nice and everything but simply aren't it? You know it, they probably know it, so why? Give your time to new things they might be worst but then again they might not...
Which brings me to another topic, a bit more personal, and I am sorry the previous one was too scattered, a close friend of mine told me she realized after watching a rerun of house, that I am more similar to him than she thought, not only on the irony but also in his sadness. This for me was kind of a given that I thought people saw when they did the comparison, apparently I was overestimating people's comparison :P. The thing is house isn't happy most of the time, and he doesn't pretend to be, he doesn't feel the need to do so, here with differ on the form, I don't pretend but I elude people towards not making any assumptions about my happiness level, specially people close to me, he is a bit more blunt about it. It was pointed out to me that he seeks to be unhappy and destroy happiness, his own and of his friends, I couldn't disagree more, he seeks to validate happiness because if it is not why bother? He is open to the possibility of it being true, but his skeptical about it, he wants the whole shit and not just a sample of it...
He has all reasons to be happy, like people point out to him, and he knows it, but for him what he has is peanuts, little more than what is obvious, and what is not he tests to see if it is true, friends, new concepts, new truths, new illusions...
I wondering does anybody else see this? Let me know....
Here a video I shown a lot of people maybe they will see it with different eyes now...
Some people are afraid to be alone, the thought alone is just unbearable. Why this is? Well it is really not the point for today, but rather the mechanisms people construct to deal with this. The most comm. one is getting a lot of so called "friends", those who know me understand why I used the quote on the word, who are so friendly it itches, the sort of people that would say "I am a great friend but on that he was completely wrong". Perhaps I should give the idea, imagine you cheat on your girlfriend, and your "friends" find out about it and say that, because friends would say I am sure he has his reasons and it is probably not his fault. How many friends like that do you have? I have a couple so lucky me... Regardless of this, since I drifting out of the topic, people surround themselves with people that are beneath them, intellectually, socially, etc, for a guarantee of company, it is better to pretend to have a life than not have one at all... NO FUCKING WAY, after a while you can't even recognize yourself and separate who you are from who you hang out with, you corrupt yourself because a stupid fear... Life is short, I know a cliché, butt it is, how much time can you lose around people you know are nice and everything but simply aren't it? You know it, they probably know it, so why? Give your time to new things they might be worst but then again they might not...
Which brings me to another topic, a bit more personal, and I am sorry the previous one was too scattered, a close friend of mine told me she realized after watching a rerun of house, that I am more similar to him than she thought, not only on the irony but also in his sadness. This for me was kind of a given that I thought people saw when they did the comparison, apparently I was overestimating people's comparison :P. The thing is house isn't happy most of the time, and he doesn't pretend to be, he doesn't feel the need to do so, here with differ on the form, I don't pretend but I elude people towards not making any assumptions about my happiness level, specially people close to me, he is a bit more blunt about it. It was pointed out to me that he seeks to be unhappy and destroy happiness, his own and of his friends, I couldn't disagree more, he seeks to validate happiness because if it is not why bother? He is open to the possibility of it being true, but his skeptical about it, he wants the whole shit and not just a sample of it...
He has all reasons to be happy, like people point out to him, and he knows it, but for him what he has is peanuts, little more than what is obvious, and what is not he tests to see if it is true, friends, new concepts, new truths, new illusions...
I wondering does anybody else see this? Let me know....
Here a video I shown a lot of people maybe they will see it with different eyes now...
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