Plagiarism (with some add-ons)

I woke up in a dream today, to the cold and the static putting my cold feet on the floor forgetting all about yesterday but remembering I’m pretending to be where I’m not anymore, a little taste of hypocrisy and I’m left in the wake of the mistake slow to react even though you’re so close to me you’re still so distant and I can’t bring you back.
I hit you and you hit me back, we fall to the floor and the rest of the day stands still. Fine line between this and that but when things go wrong I pretend that the past isn’t real, I’m trapped in this memory left in the wake of the mistake slow to react and even though you’re so close to me you’re still so distant and I can’t bring you back.
NO, I won’t let you control my fate while I’m holding the weight of the world on my conscience and NO, I won’t just sit here and wait while you weighing options you’re making a fool of me, and NO, you didn’t dare try to say that you don’t care and solemnly swear not to follow me there, FUCK NO, it ain’t like me to beg on my knees, oh, please, oh, baby, please...That’s not how I’m doing things, NO, I’m not upset and NO, I’m not angry I know love is love and sometimes it pains me, with or without you I’ll always be with you and you’ll never forget me, I’m keeping you with me, NO, I won’t let you take me to the end of my rope while you burn it and torture my soul, NO, I’m not your puppet and, no, no, no, I won’t let you go...
No, no matter how far we’ve come, I can’t wait to see tomorrow with you, now I see keeping everything inside and even when I close my eyes it's YOU...

Plagiarism from well the ones that don't know should be ashamed, for all the others, sorry for the changes (even though they are tiny)...

"Potentially"

Right so I have to put something into text because it is just too funny not to.
"Potentially I am in love with you" this is the quote of the moment, honestly it is at the level of the famous "I love you" and the answer is "Thank you".
This got me thinking of how defensive we are becoming, with this need to say things without actually saying them, finding ways to justify "potential" feelings or reasons, it is like things can't simply be, they simply might be. The uncertainty of possibilities, no matter how remote, is here as the ultimate weapon for defensive people. Words are the weapon, the tool that allows us to argue around ourselves and others keeping us safe and isolated from the realm of possibility.
As one of the most defensive people I know, I must say this quote impressed me, although I understand the need for it due to the circumstances (which I am not at liberty to reveal) it is still something to think about.
As human beings we have a tendency for self preservation (some people don't, too freakish), but since when does this extend to the realm of what we know as absolute (yes, I know no true absolutes, just individual absolutes)? It is sad that we start to have problems even facing ourselves finding ways around our feelings and emotions.
Sorry this doesn't make too much sense today, my heart is not on it, I am in one of the wondering days, where I can't really crystallize thoughts long enough to express them, you know when you have thoughts that seem simply feelings, random, erratic, unpredictable... Well that is me today, so I think I’ll wrap it up, the main thing is "Potentially" is a nice word for playing around and finding ways around things :P.

Canceled post

Due to reasons beyond my control today's post has been canceled, sorry for any inconvenience, tomorrow's post will be on schedule...

Change

Well one more weekend has passed, a lot I wanted to do, a lot I wanted to change and yet I can't really say this was a different weekend, actually I have to say it wasn't for sure. Sometimes I hate to be right, and I did state "Nobody changes by decree" but I wish we did. The thing is you can see how you want to change and why you need to do it, but this isn't enough, change comes unnoticed and unforeseen, takes you by surprise but only after it happens. It is cause perhaps by need, or maybe just natural evolution of self, pressure has a big role in change, or at least it can have. But change is an abstract concept, we might be talking about different things, for example if I change place (like I did so I do know what I am talking about) that does change you, and it pressures you to change, to adapt to your new reality, but is this real change or simply and adjustment of previously set parameters. I am currently developing a proposal for self learning systems, and it is fascinating how change is one of the most important issues, and how to get the system to adjust, react, learn, and evolve. LOL for me this sounds like human behavior (again behavior is one of the issues for the proposal, but that’s work :P). The thing is we can adjust very easily even though sometimes it seems quite impossible, we do survive and learn and move on, the question is predictive change. Like in intelligent systems, predicting change and adjust to then before hand allows for a quicker and better system, a smother system. Do we have some parallelism here? Well this is for me the "Nobody changes by decree", we can see things but that isn't enough, we need to live them, feel them, flavor the bitter to enjoy the sweet, yet I do feel like I should change taking myself further to where I should be, where I see that I have to go, and even setting baby steps to get there, if I don't feel it, it wont happen, and if you make it happen (done that a few times, dammed manipulative personality at times anyway) you wont feel it and you wont want it in the end. Change of self is not a process, it is a path, you can walk faster or slowly, but you need to walk it, no short cuts or rides, your own pace but you have to walk the path to get to where it leads you, and not just the illusion that you got there.
Time is the best remedy, whatever passes the test of time is real, actually I would say only the things that past the test of time are real, and most things in our lives would never pass it, so why worry about them, who we are does change and thus fails the test of time, probably where we want to go is not where we will end up, or at least it is not where we will stop.
Just some thoughts, I noticed that I have slowly started to divert from these sorts of posts, and honestly I think this is the only sort of post that might be interesting to read, to bash, to agree, to think...
Another nothing on my road to discover pretty much nothing...

Schnuffel Kuschel

LOL, so today I was going to talk about the game and how I play it, and how good I am at it :P, quite serious business, but then I got the song that marks my Chamonix trip. So first the context, in my Hotel the TV was only in French or German, plus CNBC and sky news, anyways I got the German MTV and on the commercials you always had a song to get as a ring tone the Schnuffel Kuschel, at first I was what the fuck is up with the bunny, but this shit grows on you and soon I was trying to sing a German song :P, ridiculous I know... A stupid bunny song, with potential for remixing, try fitting words into the song it is really fun, I am talking too much just check it...



After this, what can I say about life, or game, or whatever, LOLOLOLOLOL.....
LET'S SING THE Schnuffel Kuschel............ (Nop not out of my mind yet, at least not more than usual)

Postponed post

Today I woke up in Nottingham, pretended I didn't, but ended up getting up, went to the office, straight to lunch, had a small discussion about an European project, talk to some people online, someone disappointed me, another should have disappointed me but didn't, talk with some people over the mobile throughout the day, nothing major there, except for one that made my day, in a good way, unfortunately it wasn't enough.
I didn't want to post anything today, I still want to talk about Chamonix but can't at the moment, not because of anything bad, but due to numbness and to the realization that soon I need to face this beautiful lie, which was the original title of this, but will have to wait, not ready for that yet.
Regardless numb day will pass tomorrow by force, so perhaps the will to write comes with that, if not I am afraid you will be ready a lot more nothings than usual.

Back from Chamonix

Hey, I'm back to Nottingham, anyways it was a good trip, work wise and holiday wise, very cool place, expensive as fuck, but all in all pretty good. Not saying much, as usual I am tired so I leave you with one of the photos of the place, hopefully tomorrow I write something during the day to compensate for the week off, and to summarize it :P