The solitude of solace.

A screaming silence dawns in my thoughts, the painful awareness of irrelevance is pushed through, numbing my existence. An impairment only possible to the unimpaired of thought. Solitude is more than a word or a feeling, it is a state in which we sometimes we take solace. The faint comfort of being just with ourselves gives us a glimpse of relevance. This mythical relevance of the promise of belonging to this world in some way or form. I truly wonder if the glimpses of this place provided by our lives is there to gives fuel to live or to taunt us while we pass. Life is more than just thoughts, and yet these are my only refuge in times of pain. It is strangely comfortable to shield the pain and yet inside you see only yourself and your own pointless existence, which merely validates the reasons why you find yourself in these thoughts.

Not really sure how to feel about it...

As you get better at writing, it becomes increasingly hard to write. just wanted to say that to start a post that has no real direction. I have to admit for starters as well that the driving inspiration to start writing is Rihanna, somehow this song touch me in a way that made me want to say something back to the universe. Round and around, we go... It is obvious that I am listening to it while writing this. For me the song is about myself, not sure how to feel about it, but I do want me to stay. Not in a place or a era, but I want to stay me, somehow I feel it is kinda slipping away. This stupid kid that thought himself as better than everyone else. A one of a kind kid with endless possibilities. That is the funny thing about potential, if you have very little there is very little you can feel you wasted. It sounds redundant and it is in fact, why formulate such thoughts. Life is what happens when you are busy thinking, and yet one cannot stop himself from doing it. At least I can't. This is one of the reasons I like playing around with the idea of being a farmer. The reason why i fantasize of living in a different era, where technology plays a smaller role. I wonder what sort of potential this kid would have grown into. Don't get me wrong I like this version of me, my knowledge, my abilities, and yet wonder on other versions of me. i think I am diverting, the biggest issue is me wondering if I am still true to myself. Playing scenarios allows me to see more of myself, or at least i like to think it does. It is funny how I can say some truth in the mix of a bunch of bullshit (true in its own way, but...). The sabotage factor, saying simply what the problem is would be too open, so i just use words to make it more complex that it is... The simple fact is a song that questioned me "not sure how to feel about it?" About me, do I have something to prove to myself? Or to others? How can I feel nostalgic about something I know I am. The perfect sense of a lyric made to talk about love, and yet I feel it clearly as introspection of myself. Funny things, I guess it is the horoscope syndrome, if you say some generic things people will fit it to their life. And yet I can see the duality of this song I see its intention, but that is not what it makes me feel. Ohh well, "not really sure how to feel about it", but I do want it to stay, perhaps it gives me a glimpse of the feeling attached to "the reason I hold on".... Enjoy....

Killing God... and the rise of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I will stick with Jedi master :P

Today I was checking Facebook and a person status stated "Trying to understand "God" is like being back in high school and hitting my head against a brick wall.". Well for those of you that know me, you understand that I would have to post something. I checked of few of the comments to see what the issue was about. It was and pretty much about an essay on why monotheism is better than polytheisms considering the premise that god or gods do exist. Of course I had to state:

“One can look at it as a natural progression, first we killed all gods except for one, and now we are progressing in killing (some already did) the last remainder of this illusion. God is in the unknown, and with knowledge comes its natural demise, this is true now has it was for the Greeks... It is just simpler to kill gods when they are responsible for something, as opposite killing a god that is always hiding in the next question. Thus, why the one god concept is still with us...”

It is interesting how the construct of a single god can evolve and keeps eluding finding its place in the next big question. God created men. Unless man has evolved, in that case god created evolution, which in turn created men. So actually god created men, just a bit more indirectly than originally stated. It is easy to see that the death of god is in absolute knowledge, and since the premise of achieving absolute knowledge is an absurdity (despite it being more probable than the existence of such being as god is portrayed) , one will never be certain of its death. And yet, one cannot be certain of nothing really, so the it is quite simple some believe in god, some in the flying spaghetti, others that in a far, far away galaxy there is this little green alien with pointy ears called yoda who is a master Jedi…. I like this Jedi one, the idea of the force seems more plausible and yet still absurd…

P.S.- This does not cover religion, that would  be a huge can of worms. Still quite simple to address considering it is easier to debunk religion, whatever it may be, than the concept of god :P

A small change on the way to what might come...

So today I decided to make a small change in look of the blog. Was not really on the posting mood and yet I kinda need to post something. Even if what I have to say is not really relevant, or maybe even stupid. I decided to go against the quote "better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt". I was never one for silence, and yet my silence in past times has been quite loud, at least for those who have the ability to look beyond what is there. I digress and this is not a post for this, this is a shallow post, one of the shallowest, at least from what I can remember.

What can be a shallow post? I am glad you asked, or didn't :P It is going to be about shoes! Well don't leave yet there is a reason for this. First let me clarify that by shoes I mean trainers ( snickers in the US), I hate shoes. So I saw some I really liked, and decided to take my girlfriend to see what she thought. Before you ask why? Well I don't like spending money on me that much so a bit of validation does help :P. She also liked them, so I asked for a pair. Unfortunatly they did not have it in my size. Because I liked i decided to order them online. So far so good. I know they are a bit flashy, but everybody seems to find it funny flashy. I still like them so guess what don't care :P But it did got me thinking why is it not appropriate to wear trainers in all situations, I mean if I have a orange and pink tie that would be OK for formal wear, why are trainers any different... Anyway leave me or thoughts on my new pair of trainers or on this if you so choose :)

Am I Back?

Hello world! It's been a while. Quite longer than I expected, specially because time pauses for no one. A lot to tell you about, considering I did not even post anything when awarded my PhD, so now I am a doctor, so you can trust my wisdom, or not, but know that now I have a fancy title to go with my meaningless words :P

I decided to write something to establish a more concrete thought process, and you the world will always be there, either real people, or not. As always it is words for the void, being that I don't expect reactions from the void, but if the void provides reactions that will be most interesting :)

I am in a stage of my life that is quite intriguing if one would see from the outside, I am old, or lets say older for my ego not to be bruised too much, but yet don't feel it. I am supposed to be wiser and more mature, and yet it all seems the same. It is like music I guess, you can't really see what is old or new so long as you grew up with it, or pay close attention. Think about it, if you hear something from the 60s, 70s or 80s, of course not counting the things you listen quite a lot and consider timeless, you think this sound is from that era. However when you think about your era, so when you started to really listen to music all seems like one big era for which there is not characteristic sound. This is of course and illusion, the 90s had a sound and the 00s had a sound, maybe the 10s doesn't yet :P

I guess it is hard to see evolution when you live with it, I am sure it is there, and yet not, I listen to stuff from the 90s, it is part of me, and yet if I am honest I don't listen to it that often. Think about it, it is mostly reminiscing of some time it the past, it is great you still relate to it, but you simply don't have it always in mind. We are our past and present, but in all honesty I think the past is what brought us to the present, meaning what made us who we are, it is nice to think of the path but most of the time one simply walks to the next thing. We don't let go of the past, we carry it with us, but we cannot forget to keep moving since time stops for no one.

But what does one do when the notion of where to go is not clear from its past and present...

Hey ya...

Let's all say it, HEY YA...



I wander the internet as I wander in life and find these pieces of truth from the collective wisdom of masses... It is funny how wise the masses can be at times...

Helmsman - Homem do leme

Navigating my thoughts away in the vastness of youtube songs, I had to share this one, a favorit of mine from time to time it reflects a lot of me, or what I think at times... The problem is it is in portuguese so here goes a shoot at translation hope you like it :)



Alone in the night
A ship sails where to?
A light in the dark shines straight
overshadows all others.

And more than a wave, more than a tide...
They tried to arrest him, impose him a faith...
But, drifting at ease, breaking the sorrow ("Saudade" does realy translate)...
goes the one that fears nothing any more, goes the helmsman...

And a will to laugh, is born for the deepest of our being...
And a will to go, depart and run across the world,
life is always lost...

In the depth of the sea
lie the others, the ones who remained there.
In grey days
eternal rest they found there.

And more than a wave, more than a tide...
They tried to arrest him, impose him a faith...
But, drifting at ease, breaking the sorrow ("Saudade" does realy translate)...
goes the one that fears nothing any more, goes the helmsman...

And a will to laugh, is born for the deepest of our being...
And a will to go, depart and run across the world,
life is always lost...

In the depth of the horizon
a murmur blow, where does it go?
In the depth of time
the future escapes, and it is too late...

And a will to laugh, is born for the deepest of our being...
And a will to go, depart and run across the world,
life is always lost...